Mozilla announces Cliven Bundy as new CEO

From Mozilla’s press release:

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA (April 24, 2014) — The Mozilla Foundation today announced the appointment of rancher and family-man Cliven Bundy as the organization’s new CEO.

Bundy’s appointment followed the promotion, and then resignation, of longtime Mozilla board member Brendan Eich to run the foundation that oversees the Firefox Web browser, among other technology projects.

Eich resigned after it was discovered that he donated $1,000 in support of Proposition 8, the campaign that repealed the civil right of marriage for gays in California, and was intended to dissolve 18,000 already-performed legal weddings of gay couples.

“With the elevation of Cliven Bundy as our new chief executive officer, Mozilla strikes a clear blow for freedom of speech and the tolerance of diversity,” Mozilla communications director Ted Nugent said.

“No longer will a man be judged by his political beliefs, regardless of how repugnant they are to an intolerant minority,” Nugent added.

Mozilla has announced a new logo to coincide with the hire of Cliven Bundy.

Mozilla has announced a new logo to coincide with the hiring of Cliven Bundy.

Bundy, who has been in a years-long standoff with the federal government over grazing land in the southwest, that he has basically been squatting on illegally, caused a stir this week during a press conference in which he seemed to suggest that African-Americans were better off under slavery:

I want to tell you one more thing I know about the Negro,” [Bundy] said. Mr. Bundy recalled driving past a public-housing project in North Las Vegas, “and in front of that government house the door was usually open and the older people and the kids — and there is always at least a half a dozen people sitting on the porch — they didn’t have nothing to do. They didn’t have nothing for their kids to do. They didn’t have nothing for their young girls to do.

“And because they were basically on government subsidy, so now what do they do?” he asked. “They abort their young children, they put their young men in jail, because they never learned how to pick cotton. And I’ve often wondered, are they better off as slaves, picking cotton and having a family life and doing things, or are they better off under government subsidy? They didn’t get no more freedom. They got less freedom.”

Gay conservatives, who penned a public letter to express their outrage over Brendan Eich’s resignation, were elated over the news that a racist, pro-slavery seditionist had garnered a place at the helm of one America’s most important high-tech foundations.

“There isn’t a cotton-picking thing wrong with Cliven Bundy heading a major American corporation,” said Roy Cohn, a spokesman for the gay GOP coalition.  “While Bundy appears to support slavery, he has given no indication of any present intent to enslave Mozilla’s Negro employees.”

Cohn continued: “There was an eagerness by some opponents of slavery to punish rather than to criticize or to persuade those who disagree. We reject that deeply illiberal impulse, which is both wrong in principle and poor as politics.

“The Civil War was about freedom and equality for all. The best and most free society is one that allows the largest number to live true to their core beliefs and identities. It is a society that allows its members to speak their minds and shape their own aspirations.

“The natural consequence of true liberty is diversity. Unless a society can figure out a way to reach perfect agreement, conflicting views will be inevitable. Any effort to impose conformity, through government or any other means, by punishing the misguided for believing incorrectly will impoverish society intellectually and oppress it politically.

“The test of our commitment to liberal principles is not our eagerness to hear ideas we share, but our willingness to consider seriously those we oppose.”


(In all fairness to Mozilla, they handled the Eich situation well, so this isn’t meant as a criticism of them. It is however meant as a criticism of all those who defended Brendan Eich’s “freedom of speech,” yet now are roundly criticizing Cliven Bundy for also being a bigot.)

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CyberDisobedience on Substack | @aravosis | Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn. John Aravosis is the Executive Editor of AMERICAblog, which he founded in 2004. He has a joint law degree (JD) and masters in Foreign Service from Georgetown; and has worked in the US Senate, World Bank, Children's Defense Fund, the United Nations Development Programme, and as a stringer for the Economist. He is a frequent TV pundit, having appeared on the O'Reilly Factor, Hardball, World News Tonight, Nightline, AM Joy & Reliable Sources, among others. John lives in Washington, DC. .

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54 Responses to “Mozilla announces Cliven Bundy as new CEO”

  1. StPauli says:

    Geez, John I had you pegged for a better neighborhood than Fox, and cavorting with journalistic whores, for shame.

  2. Kimm Ryland says:

    My Uncle Connor got Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG
    use this link F­i­s­c­a­l­P­o­s­t­.­ℂ­o­m

  3. cleos_mom says:

    “Somewhere Jonathan Swift is smiling having read this piece.”

    Jonathan Rauch, however, is most likely Not Amused. Not Amused A-Tall.

  4. And as he already admitted, he listens to Glenn Beck, probably watches Fox News. I’ve always said that the biggest danger of the right’s rhetoric is their undereducated true-believer (gun-toting) base. They’re the ones who say “fuck yeah,” and then take up arms.

  5. The Roaming Invert says:

    Thank you for the laugh. It’s better to laugh because it’s either that or you go flog him within an inch of his life then have him pick cotton until he dies of exhaustion or starvation. Unless you feel like unleashing hungry dogs on him. So I guess I’d rather laugh and hope people like him die sooner than later.

  6. sane37 says:

    Lack of education, curiosity and willful ignorance is not insanity.

  7. Ninja0980 says:

    This piece is hysterical and dead on. The only funnier thing is watching the Republicans try and backpeddle from propping BUndy up as the next coming of Christ for the past two weeks.

  8. 4th Turning says:

    If not mad, then what? There seems something clinically wrong here. And lacking
    remedy because only the symptoms get attention.

  9. You think he’s crazy? I don’t think he’s crazy. He clearly represents a sadly significant contingent of gun-loving, government-hating, trigger-happy, one step away from Oklahoma City, Republicans.

  10. That’d be interesting to check out in person

  11. That’d be funny :)

  12. Denver Catboy says:

    Good one. :D

  13. Joan says:

    I wonder which republican candidate he will be campaigning with.

  14. wmforr says:

    His personal slaves? He seemed to think so highly of slavery that I thought he was going to volunteer to be one himself, to set an example for other Compassionate Conservatives®.

  15. wmforr says:

    Sean Hannity was interfering with Ted Cliven Bundy’s Freedom of Speech!

  16. wmforr says:

    I remember when the cry on the Right was “Law and Order”. That, of course, meant, “Get those hippies off the street.”

    I remember when the cry on the Right was “America, love it or leave it!” Which meant “My way or the highway.”

    Now it’s “I do not recognize the Federal Government”. This is especially disturbing when it comes from those whom the Federal Government pays huge salaries to “serve” (ha!) in Congress.

  17. wmforr says:

    John, aren’t you afraid of Poe’s law? I’m waiting for this story to be taken up by Fux Noose and Michel Bachman, our historian laureate.

  18. HeartlandLiberal says:

    Somewhere Jonathan Swift is smiling having read this piece. Well done.

    Now moving beyond satire, what I want to know is when the BLM and Feds are going to move back in and collect the million plus dollars this welfare queen of a racist hick legally and properly owes the US government. We simply cannot let his behavior stand. It is just one more cherry in the icing of the lawlessness this country has descended into, where for the wealthy and powerful and connected the laws simply do not apply and are not applied.

  19. Unclechuck49 says:

    Nice job. Funny. Heading to Burning man, might head by his place afterwards. Will certainly give him your regards.

  20. 4th Turning says:

    I’m not a psychiatrist nor have I ever played one on tv, but I am having a hard time seeing the
    courage in berating and ridiculing an old man who by my simple understanding has clearly descended into madness when hundreds of thousands hold beliefs and values exactly like his but are lucid enough to stay tight-lipped, quietly voting their kind onto school boards, county commissions, state legislatures, etc. while our kind goes all-nader and allows this to unfold like it is all some inevitable bad karma trip… In six months they will have the supreme court for the next 20/30 years.
    John, speculate with me a couple of minutes. Supposin’ the billionaire cabal gets its pipeline-just
    supposin’. Or the clinton/obama clown circus fumbles one more something-anything-near and dear
    to liberal hearts? Oh, the fury! The courage it will take to stay home come november! I doubt any
    of us are going to be very amused by the outcome… I’m thinking you were somewhere in that
    crowd on the mall first time around.

  21. beaudyk says:

    Thank you for the laugh. I’ve spent half the day crying with anger. I was an activist hippy in the sixties, and I felt undone and infuriated as I watched that You Know What today at his “press conference” he called for himself. Was it live everywhere, or just here in Las Vegas? I mean real tears. I was so angry that my best friend was worried about me. You have saved my sanity once again <3

  22. StraightGrandmother says:

    Is PURE John Aravosis!
    Well Played John, well played.

  23. SFExPat says:

    Totally well-played, John. The Onion (and I’m from Madison WI, I LOVE the Onion!) might as well hang it up; sometimes these jokes really DO write themselves, and you helped!

  24. pappyvet says:


  25. Yes, i wanted to go for some jokes, then thought I’d just quote them directly.

  26. I told you I actually met her at Fox the other week, she was quite amiable, but definitely quite conservative IMHO.

  27. I’ll take that as a joke.

  28. cole3244 says:

    i would call bundy stupid but that would be a promotion.

  29. kurtsteinbach says:

    Of course, he would use his personal slaves, to guard his cattle grazing on “government” land…. BTW, don’t forget, these bigoted, “religious” fools don’t understand the difference between science and science fiction. I mean, what is the reality of science and the universe when compared to the power and truth of an invisible sky-god, anyway?

  30. kurtsteinbach says:

    I usually enjoy reading your stories, but this is just absurd….

  31. Thom Allen says:

    “Slavery-It does a[n African-American] body good.”

  32. BeccaM says:

    “Slavery: It’s good for the families!”

  33. Thom Allen says:

    We are pleased to announce that Cliven Bundy has been awarded his PhD in Sociology from Bob Jones University for his outstanding and seminal work in this field. His concentration is in African-American Family Dynamics. -Mark Regnerus, PhD, Graduate Student Advisor, BJU.

  34. BeccaM says:

    You should leak it to Judith Miller, then you can go on Fox News to point to Miller’s resulting story as proof it’s all true.

    Hey, it worked for Darth Cheney after all!

  35. BeccaM says:

    You did a good job. It took me several seconds to realize you’d adapted that exact open-letter from the gay conservatives, almost word-for-word. :-)

  36. First that Chinese news agency has to pick it up!

  37. I think this one works, but it almost didn’t. It’s easier to get a B writing commentary (instead of an A) than it is getting a B writing satire – you either get an A or an F with humor, and the A is harder than getting an A with commentary, I find at least for me.

  38. I wish :)

  39. zerosumgame0005 says:

    auditioning for the Onion?

  40. Houndentenor says:

    Well played, Sir. Bravo!

  41. indep_in_la says:

    Actually I’m waiting for Fox to pick it up as a story! They’re so well known for their journalistic talents :-)

  42. BeccaM says:

    I tried once. Commentary is easy. Witty snark a little harder. Genuine comedy is hard.

  43. BeccaM says:

    On the one hand, we have the ‘honest’ and ‘deeply held’ religious position that, despite all the science saying otherwise, being gay is a ‘lifestyle choice’ and unnatural and immoral. And furthermore gay people should be prohibited from having any kind of legal protections for themselves or their families. Religious beliefs which include eternal damnation after death, and a fairly strong desire to re-criminalize homosexuality, resulting inevitably in unemployment, homelessness, isolation and despair. This must be tolerated and respected as a legitimate desire and belief, else gay people are intolerant bullies.

    Versus on the other hand a man advocating for the traditional Biblical institution of slavery. Because in Mr. Bundy’s words, it’ll give ‘negroes’ useful work to do, the basic necessities of life, and help strengthen their families. Heck, regressing to manual hand-picking of cotton will retire those old mechanical combines and help the environment! But his heartfelt, compassionately-motivated racism (it’s for the good of ‘negro’ families after all!) is so inexcusable, even his conservative BFFs are pretending they don’t know him anymore.

    Wow. What could be more conservative than both of those positions at once?! I sure can’t think of anything. Oppression of gay people and slavery are both long-standing Christian practices with literally millennia of history behind them. Suddenly, only the first one is okay but the second is verboten, even among conservatives?

    Why is Sean Hannity such a terrible bully? I mean, Mr. Bundy was merely wondering if dark-skinned urban moochers would be better off being re-enslaved by pale-skinned rural moochers like himself!


  44. GarySFBCN says:

    Apples and oranges, John. There are only 4 letters in Eich’s last name. Bundy’s has 5.

  45. I wish. It would be hard to write this kind of thing every day.

  46. Thom Allen says:

    A definite MasterCard “Priceless!”

  47. FLL says:

    Score! One of the very few things in life that is truly sacred is humor. Roy Cohn is a nice touch.

  48. StPauli says:

    Got all my folks out here on the porch because some old white guy keeps driving around here staring at us, surely he’s up to no good. Doesn’t he have better things to do than use up gas?

  49. Mac and Sandy says:

    I always knew you were a secret writer for the onion :-)

  50. teddy partridge says:

    Bravo, sir — the rest of us weep in our Cheetos. Simply brilliant.

  51. The_Fixer says:

    You gave them a lot to work with, we need to start a pool!

  52. Oh yeah, I can’t decide what they’ll pick on first, the use of the word “negro” is what I’m betting on, but we’ll see ;-)

  53. The_Fixer says:

    Ha! Now we’ll wait for the humor-impaired trolls to make their presence known.

  54. PeteWa says:

    um, simply brilliant.
    you won the internet today, John.

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