Every Christmas since 1955, NORAD (the North American Aerospace Defense Command) has tracked Santa as he circumnavigates the globe.
This year, however, due to increasingly disturbing saber-rattling from China, Santa looks like he will have some company on his Christmas eve ride: a massive, fully-armed, animated US fighter jet escort.
US Air Force artist rendition.
(Google will also be tracking Santa this year, but since everyone knows the NSA already bugs Google, you’re already covered by just sticking with NORAD.)
On November 23rd, China established an air defense identification zone (ADIZ) extending over much of the East China Sea. International concern immediately turned to the safety of an imminent trip to the region by – not Joe Biden – but Santa Claus.
The establishment of the air defense zone means China is requiring all aircraft that enter the zone, which covers the Diaoyu/Senhaku islands — China, Japan and Taiwan all claim sovereignty over the islands — to provide identification and flight plans, as well as maintain communication with Chinese authorities.
China’s assertion of authority in establishing an ADIZ has antagonized Japan, and given the United States, Australia and South Korea cause for concern, as relative diplomatic progress was seen to have been made in the region in recent months. The US strongly, and publicly, objected to China’s move.
While China has defended the move as both a necessary early-warning system and a replication of previous zones established by the United States and Japan elsewhere, the timing of the move has led the other countries involved to question China’s commitment to peace in the region.
While both the United States and Japan have, thus far, ignored the zone, flying planes through it on a daily basis since the announcement, it appears that the US military has found a way to actively respond in a slight, yet quintessentially American fashion.
They’re arming Santa to the teeth.
The Air Force escort for Mr. Claus will look something like this, according to a recently released Pentagon video:
NORAD gearing up to help Santa troll China’s ADIZ on Christmas eve
In light of the United States’ refusal to recognize the Chinese air defense zone, a NORAD spokesperson indicated that Santa’s flight plan likely would not respect the ADIZ, telling Buzzfeed’s Andrew Kaczynski:
“We don’t know Santa’s route, only Santa knows that, but I’m guessing Santa probably has clearance to go everywhere.”
Buzzfeed also quotes Caitlyn Hayden, a national security spokesperson at the White House, who had this to say:
I’m not empowered to speak for Mr. Claus, nor would his sleigh be subject to the same regulations as U.S. civilian airliners. As a general matter, the United States does not recognize the newly announced ADIZ, which appears to be a provocative attempt to unilaterally change the status quo in the East China Sea, a highly sensitive area, and thus raises regional tensions and increases the risk of miscalculation, confrontation and accidents.
John has confirmed that the White House quote is in fact real (I’m not making this up).
Counterintuitive as it may seem, in terms of soft power, using Santa to publicly ridicule the ADIZ may actually make some modicum of sense.
Flexing our muscles by flatly ignoring China’s warnings, and continuing to fly planes through the area without giving deference to Chinese authorities, is one thing. But China is also acutely sensitive about its image in the international sphere. By effectively double-daring China to mess with Santa, we show the Chinese that we aren’t going to take their new claim in the East China Sea seriously, and we highlight how off-base and absurd their move is, especially if they’re at all serious about maintaining stability in the region.
NORAD has taken some heat over the animated addition, which it must have anticipated, as practically the only visitors NoradSanta.org will get on Christmas eve are going to be kids and parents (well, okay, and drunk college students). And a lot of kids and parents at that: Last year, the NoradSanta reached 22 million visitors, and received tens of thousands of phone calls from kids and parents seeking updates on where Santa was in real time.
More on the concerned parents from the LA Times:
Santa means presents, good times and “everything else that is positive about Christmas,” Allen Kanner, a child and family psychologist, told the Boston Globe. The co-founder of the Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood said the Pentagon has gone too far.
The associate director of the campaign, Josh Golin, goes a step further. He told CNN that it was “a back-door way to market” the military to kids. The Pentagon took this holiday tradition and added “violence and militarism,” he said.
And I have my own gripe. Does the jet really have to be bigger than Santa and all of the reindeer combined?
Santa’s Claws.
xD
exactly!
Come to think of it…we are in a crippling economic recession. I say we have them take down Santa.
Then there’d be plenty of presents for the deserving 1% (since they are so gung-ho military…except in enlisting or actually paying for it).
Venison and stocking stuffers for our betters!
That would be the ultimate in saber-rattling insanity.
You think we won’t f#ck with you guys?!? We just smoked Santa!
Theft of our worship days. Just one of the tricks used to secure a place for their peaceful , loving religion.
How else would he know who’s naughty or nice? But what’s his black budget up to now?
Clearly, we’re on the same page.
I wonder what Santa is doing buzzing a world famous Muslim mausoleum.
lol!
“Children wouldn’t understand nor care about Chinese/American relations” Except kids who go to Montessori schools. They are pretty hip and tec savvy.
According to the Snowden tapes, Santa is an agent of the CIA.
Yep: Miss Muffet and the special forces spider.
Special forces elf ninjas for sure.
Not to worry Jon. Mr Claus is peddling cheap Chinese junk for kiddies everywhere.
If Santa was that patriotic, you’d think he’d give his ultra high-speed bio-organo-propulsion systems tech to the US military (I think it may even have certain stealth capabilities, Norad tracking claims notwithstanding…)
The SR-71 in comparison ain’t shit.
Just sayin’.
Yes. Stop making Santa cry!
“Justice will be served, by Raytheon.”
LOL! I can almost hear Gen. Buck Turgidson ranting about the need for the fighters to blow up the commie heathen Chinese threat to Santa. It seems the War on Christmas may go hot this year. ;^)
I smell false flag. You’d think they’d welcome the opportunity to seek revenge on the attackers of Santa.
Why they’d be WORSE THAN HITLER!!
President Merkin Muffley:
Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! This is the War Room.
You’d think an elf or two would fit in the sleigh as an advance team (and clean-up crew to boot).
I don’t like it either. Commercialization, militarization, politicization — all of it detracts from what the holiday is supposed to be about.
And from this Wiccan’s point of view, it’s not the acknowledged fictional birthday of a possibly fictional historical religious figure. ;-)
Now if we can just get Santa to put in the sink after he’s done the plate and glass holding the milk and cookies we leave out for him at out house every Christmas eve…
We got a red sleigh down we got a red sleigh down!
Santa seems to have been able to handle himself quite successfully all these years. Why the change all of the sudden? Something up?
And what of our own ADIZ? It’s actually more restrictive than the Chinese version. But since ours has been around since 1947, perhaps Santa knows our own FAA protocols well enough to avoid being vaporized.
http://chinamatters.blogspot.de/2013/11/china-adiz-you-furnish-hysterics-well.html
We must be running out of things to militarize. Even children’s stories must now be infused with fighters sporting Sidewinder missiles, it seems. Awesome.
Of course, people around the world will see this on their evening news and be fully convinced we’ve all gone completely batty. Way to go Pentagon! Who will be escorting the Easter Bunny next year? A Stryker Brigade?
Silly? Yes. Teach the Chinese a lesson? Didn’t know they went on the NORAD site to track Santa. Who is it aimed at? Hard to argue that it’s not meant for children to see, so they can get a little more inculcation of our national religion here in the land of the High Church of Redemptive Violence.
Even so, the US does not have an aircraft with a combat range of more than about 1300 Nm. Just to fly across the country they have to swap out all armament for fuel tanks. Santa don’t have no time to slow down for no damn mid-air refueling!
Gee, are we that serious now? C’mon everyone lighten up.
Actually, those are Canadian CF-18 Hornets, the nighthawk design on the tail is the symbol for the 409 Squadron out of Cold Lake, Alberta.
Even if they weren’t Canadian, the US Air Force doesn’t fly F-18s, only the Navy and Marines. :)
Shades of Evil Santa!
we used to be athens, we are now sparta.
Humbug. NORAD Tracks Santa relies on corporate sponsorship, and is not financed by taxpayers. The people who answer the phones are volunteers. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NORAD_Tracks_Santa
The Chinese wouldn’t dare shoot down Santa Claus. It would put tens of thousands of workers assembling stuff for famous American toy brands on the unemployment lines and grumbling about there living standards and with all that time on their hands… Hey! Maybe that’s how with get rid of China’s Commie government once and for all!
Your tax dollars at work.
Bite your tongue ;-)
It’s not that complicated. The message is a light-hearted poke at the Chinese government over their tiresome saber rattling. As these things go, it has about as much chance of affecting Chinese policy as a “sternly worded letter” from the US State Dept.
Norad has been tracking Santa on Christmas Eve for nearly 60 years now. The history of this volunteer-staffed exercise is pretty interesting, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NORAD_Tracks_Santa.
Here’s a snippet from Wikipedia on the origins of all this:
“The program began on December 24, 1955, when a Sears department store placed an advertisement in a Colorado Springs newspaper which told children that they could telephone Santa Claus and included a number for them to call. However, the telephone number printed was incorrect and calls instead came through to Colorado Springs’ Continental Air Defense Command (CONAD) Center. Colonel Harry Shoup, who was on duty that night, told his staff to give all children that called in a “current location” for Santa Claus. A tradition began which continued when the North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) replaced CONAD in 1958.”
I don’t understand what’s going on; why insert real-world politics and political consequences into something make-believe?
Were it Korean animators doing it, I could give it a pass due to their history of wacky animated videos, but NORAD? Why was this necessary? I don’t get it; to “flex” a muscle at China? Who is the recipient of the message? Children wouldn’t understand nor care about Chinese/American relations.
Like an F-22 can keep up with reindeer . . .
Ever seen an F-22 up close? It’s over 60 ft long. I’d say they got the scale about right.