Hostage negotiator gives Jon Stewart tips on dealing with GOP over shutdown

Jon Stewart had Jason Jones consult a hostage negotiator for tips on how to deal with Republicans who are holding the federal government, and the American people, hostage in order to bring down Obamacare.

It didn’t go well.


Hostage negotiator Voss: Be careful not to be judgmental. Don’t be condescending. I mean, just try to see it from her perspective.

Jason Jones: Don’t be condescending? That’s all I know how to be.

Hostage negotiator Voss: Alright, just say something innocuous, get her talking.

Jason Jones (picks up megaphone): My name is Jason Jones, I’m here to listen to you. What are your demands?

GOP strategist Noelle Nikpour: Can you just put the microphone down?

Jason Jones: It’s called a megaphone.

Hostage negotiator Voss: Don’t be condescending, that’s not the strategy. Just talk about things you think she might like, try to find some common ground.

Jason Jones (speaking almost robotically): Noelle, talk to me about how Obamacare will hurt small businesses and their employees.

Hostage negotiator Voss: Alright, nicely done.

GOP strategist Noelle Nikpour: It’s going to be disastrous for small businesses.

Jones to microphone: I’m sorry, I just can’t keep this up, it’s so stupid.

Hostage negotiator: It’s not stupid to her. You’ve gotta realize that even in her world, this makes sense.

Jones: Please continue with your… thoughts.

Jones voice-over: Voss taught me that keeping the hostage-taker talking is crucial, no matter what is coming out of their mouth.

GOP strategist: Obamacare is going to be one of the worst things – one of the worst things – in American history.

Jones: One of the worst things in American history, huh? Umm…


Hostage negotiator: No, no, don’t attack.

In the end, Jones realizes that it’s hopeless: “The problem is, no matter what we do, the GOP is holding something hostage that they just don’t value.”

Follow me on Twitter: @aravosis | @americablog | @americabloggay | Facebook | Instagram | Google+ | LinkedIn. John Aravosis is the Executive Editor of AMERICAblog, which he founded in 2004. He has a joint law degree (JD) and masters in Foreign Service from Georgetown; and has worked in the US Senate, World Bank, Children's Defense Fund, the United Nations Development Programme, and as a stringer for the Economist. He is a frequent TV pundit, having appeared on the O'Reilly Factor, Hardball, World News Tonight, Nightline, AM Joy & Reliable Sources, among others. John lives in Washington, DC. .

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26 Responses to “Hostage negotiator gives Jon Stewart tips on dealing with GOP over shutdown”

  1. Jimmy Lin says:

    That is the thing, in their own little world, they think they are the reasonable ones by spewing only talking points with nothing to back it up even if it runs counter to actual facts.

    People who disagree and ridicule them for ignoring facts are the unreasonable ones to the current “conservatives”.

    The only difference that matters between the current Tea Party and the Taliban is just that the Tea Party have not started shooting… yet.

  2. Nathanael says:

    The only consolation is that the Republicans have *finally* managed to infuriate big business. That may have some salutary political consequences.

  3. Nathanael says:

    The “crazification factor” is 27%….

    So they still have 1% left to lose!

  4. BeccaM says:

    The near-term prospects for my wife’s company are uncertain too, as they do a lot of business with the gov’t and related entities.

  5. karmanot says:

    Yep, that works. Let’s call it the Madame deFarge Club.

  6. FLL says:

    I’m sure some Tea Bagger would justify that as reasonable euthanasia on the part of the GOP to improve the gene pool; and then they’d complain that their critics in the liberal media were trying to muzzle them.

  7. geegeek says:

    How do they get people to come and make a complete fool of themselves… don’t they watch the show … lol

  8. nicho says:

    That’s a horrible suggestion. Can’t we shoot them later in the day? I’m not a morning person.

  9. Monoceros Forth says:

    GOP strategist: The Supreme Court deemed it constitutional BUT it had to go to the Supreme Court to do so.

    Well, at least it is consistent. Right wingers tend to love the principle that being accused is basically the same as being guilty, because the assumption of guilt is “tough on crime”. Really this is the same sort of thing.

  10. karmanot says:


  11. MyrddinWilt says:

    This is eating into my income now. Lawyers tend not to be hiring expert witnesses or preparing papers when the courts are shut.

  12. karmanot says:

    Let’s get down to basics. The Tea Party and its anarchist/fascist participants are advocating the destruction of democratic goverment, have crossed the line of treason by interfering with the military in a time of war and are hell bent on destroying the social contract, They should be arrested and shot and dawn, starting with the Kock Brothers,

  13. ArthurH says:

    Nikpour was sent to The Daily Show interview strictly to recite the talking points of the day. It was the same as the owner of a dishonest dry cleaner sending a low-ranking employee to defend his destroying the antique wedding dress on “People’s Court” or “Judge Judy.” The employee stammers what told and looks foolish answering questions rather than the big boss.

  14. BeccaM says:

    All civil cases and hearings have been suspended, apparently.

    And the Republicans continue to insist the shutdown is really no big deal, no harm’s being done, it can go on for the foreseeable future, etc.

    I think I’m done referring to this as a slow motion impeachment.

    This is now an attempted GOP coup.

  15. nicho says:

    GOP unfavorability at highest ever — even higher than when Bush left office. That’s a pretty amazing feat.

    They are down to rock bottom on favorability — 28%. That’s the faithful 28 percent — mostly mentally deranged — that would like the GOP even if they killed handicapped children on TV by beating them with bags of newborn puppies and kittens.

  16. nicho says:

    So here’s my question. Do we get a rebate on our taxes for all the time the government isn’t functioning? If my cable was out for a couple of weeks, I’d sure as hell expect a rebate. Why not the government too?

  17. Trapper says:

    OMG, how does she dress herself in morning? No one is born stupid so she must be taking lessons.


    GOP strategist: It is law but it is not good law. It’s unconstitutional, its unconstitutional.

    Jones: Even though the Supreme Court deemed it constitutional

    GOP strategist: The Supreme Court deemed it constitutional BUT it had to go to the Supreme Court to do so


    What’s worse is the Boehner segment with Stephanopoulos that Stewart noted. After neutering him (Boehner), the tea-party is dragging that man around by his tail

  18. cole3244 says:

    the republicans are domestic terrorists why not call it like it really is.

  19. Indigo says:

    So the Supreme Court had to go to the Supreme Court about it? Okay . . . the terrorists are off their meds, aren’t they?

  20. Zorba says:

    Mr. Zorba has a post-graduate student from India, who has just gotten a job at a university, since her training in his lab has finished. She has a student visa, but cannot get her working visa right now. This means she will probably have to go back to India and cannot re-enter the USA for two years. Which also means she loses the job, at a top university in this country. This woman is highly educated and trained scientist, with a Ph.D.
    This would be a loss not just for her and for the university who wanted to hire her, but for our country.

  21. Dredd Blog says:

    Often times tools do not understand who is manipulating them. In the case of ObamaCare it is the same source that is manipulating spying on Americans: the military.

  22. nicho says:

    By the way, if you’re trying to get a green card, you can just forget about it. I have a friend who’s married to an American, and he’s in the process of getting a green card In the wake of the Supreme Court ruling. He was just notified that his hearing has been canceled because of the shutdown. They will reschedule at some future unknown time.

  23. nicho says:

    Far-right politicians and “religious leaders.”

  24. JayRandal says:

    Here is a thread for you to cover John: “Ben Stoviak, Pittsburgh Gay Man, Attacked In Alleged Hate Crime” on Huffington Post Gay Voices. Has a video of crime victim with cut lip and boot mark on his
    face. He and his partner were attacked leaving a Gay bar and savagely beaten.

    Violent persecution of Gays happening here in US like in Russia. Difference is in Russia the violence
    is promoted by entire government. In US the violence against Gays is advocated by far-right politicians.

  25. fletcher says:

    Very funny bit! One of the Daily Show’s best. Nikpour seems oblivious that she is playing straightman by sticking to the talking points of the day. And for those of us watching in high-def, did Jason’s insightful questions cause Nikpour’s pantyhose to wrinkle, or was it simply a precursor to her next appearance on TV being on “How Not to Dress”?

  26. discus_sucks_ass says:

    of course she remembers slavery! very fondly in fact…THAT is the real problem

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