Idaho schools to ban vaginas?

An Idaho high school teacher is in trouble for saying the word “vagina” during a biology class lesson on the human reproductive system.

And he should be reprimanded.  Everyone knows the appropriate term for the female reproductive organ is “woo-woo.”

What is wrong these people?  It was a class about human reproduction and the teacher said the word “vagina.”  What word was he supposed to use?

Oh, and the teacher also stands accused of showing a pro- climate change film in class, Al Gore’s “The Inconvenient Truth.”  They’re actually accusing the teacher of breaking the rules by “supporting a political candidate” by showing the climate change film.  I don’t recall Al Gore running for office since 2000. Then again, in Idaho the year is only 1400.

© John Aravosis

© John Aravosis

Without question it’s better to treat high school students like complete children and avoid dangerous words like penis and vagina. If they know the anatomical words it will make it more likely that they will crank out babies on the spot, like during study hall or morning prayers.

We can only hope that the schools also avoid mentioning anything about birth control, because protected sex is crazy. Oh, let me stop myself. In fact, the teacher is in trouble for also talking about birth control, and herpes.  Which is odd, since usually extremist Republicans like it when we tell kids that sex will kill them.  Not this time, apparently.

I mean sure, the teacher in question says that he teaches straight out of the books (that have presumably approved by the local school board), but we all know that science and facts have a liberal bias. This science teacher is so dangerous that he has been said to teach about climate change, as if the overwhelming majority of scientists not on the Koch Brothers or Exxon payroll agree with such theories.

Keep in mind Idaho is also a gun-nut state where the gun-nut legislators repealed a rule stopping gun nuts from bringing guns into the state capitol building until a gun nut actually did, and suddenly they all freaked out.  Idaho, like most GOP strongholds, is a big “do as I say, not as I do” state.

Idaho is also the state where a GOP gubernatorial candidate made a joke about assassinating President Obama.  That was okay, you see – but using anatomically correct terms about the female reproductive system in an anatomy class, not so much.

Idaho is also the state where a white supremacist was running for sheriff, and where a GOP legislator compared Obamacare to Auschwitz, since we all know that the real goal of the Holocaust was to help Jews find cheaper and more comprehensive medical care.

And finally, Idaho is also the state where school boards have pulled the international baccalaureate, just in case it’s really a socialist plot to woo our children to Marxism, which is not to be confused with wooing our children to woo-woos, which aren’t necessarily Marxist, unless they’re Marxist woo-woos, which you can easily identify by their red berets and surly demeanor.

An American in Paris, France. BA in History & Political Science from Ohio State. Provided consulting services to US software startups, launching new business overseas that have both IPO’d and sold to well-known global software companies. Currently launching a new cloud-based startup. Full bio here.

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76 Responses to “Idaho schools to ban vaginas?”

  1. Mary Parker says:

    My guess is our legislators don’t want us to figure out what “transvaginal ultrasound” really means, so that we can’t get mad that they passed a law requiring them before all abortions (even in the first trimester).

  2. What was she suppose to say? Coochie? Va jay jay? Pussy? Poontang? This country is as just pathetic… tell the parents to p*ss off and shut the f**k up!

  3. jimmyjack says:

    Poor chris in paris…..just hates anything that ain’t him. I could go on a hit list for Paris or his home state of Ohio but would rather just let him stew in his own piss.

  4. Brady In The Morning says:

    I agree with the teacher being punished for pushing Al Gores BS but not for saying Vagina.

  5. William says:

    Georgia O’Keeffe’s paintings were full of orchids that looked like vajayjays.

  6. William says:


  7. Zorba says:

    I am kind of guessing that the drama department in that school is not going to stage a production of “The Vagina Monologues” any time soon. And I’m also thinking that they won’t be producing “Cabaret,” either. ;-)

  8. karmanot says:

    Yes Vagina, there is an Idaho.

  9. karmanot says:

    The vagina pinata at Cinco de Mayo must have been the last straw.

  10. karmanot says:

    But fossils lay eggs.

  11. BeccaM says:

    Sadly, I could probably substitute the name of any other conservative Red, anti-science, anti-education, anti-Enlightenment state and be just as right.

  12. BlueIdaho says:


  13. BlueIdaho says:

    I live in Idaho. Trust me the mormons are breeding like rats here. The schools are over crowded and the state doesn’t want to give them any money. Just glad I don’t have any kids here.

  14. Buford says:

    Even worse, since it’s troubling that 3-4 people can generate a shitstorm sufficient to potentially end this man’s career.

  15. Dano2 says:

    It’s only a handful of parents. The same marginalized group you find everywhere, since the beginning of time.



  16. rmthunter says:

    And especially the Cypripedium/Paphiopedilum/Phragmipedium group.

  17. They’re “living in their own private Idaho” — paraphrasing the B-52’s from the “socialist” part of Georgia, Atlanta. No wonder Mark Fuhrman moved there from Los Angeles to plant more evidence.

  18. Buford says:

    As I stated elsewhere, despite the fact that this Idaho high school undoubtedly stocks its ladies’ rooms with state-funded feminine hygiene products, these parents are outraged that this teacher discussed vaginas and contraception with their 14-15-yo kids without their explicit pre-approval….??? This country is doomed.

  19. eahopp says:

    Joseph: Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina.

    Detective John Kimble: Thanks for the tip!

  20. d3clark says:

    Since it’s Idaho, they probably call it the “bearded yam.”

  21. Ninong says:

    Yes, John, what happened to the Friday Orchid pics?

  22. emjayay says:

    The supposedly cool term is vajayay, which is of course just disgusting.

  23. emjayay says:

    And become members of the larger society.

  24. emjayay says:

    Beautiful northern Idaho – the Cour d’alene area – is for some reason where reactionary cops go to retire.

  25. Drew2u says:

    I tried watching when it first aired and I really wanted a good, smart SciFi show, but I couldn’t get past the protagonist’s delivery – I hated how she talked. Plus the “kooky old mad scientist” thing I didn’t bite on.

  26. Dano2 says:

    True, some are. Most are too old to breed.



  27. Dano2 says:




  28. Zorba says:

    They’re changing the name of the state soon, to Idunno.

  29. Zorba says:

    Yes, but unfortunately, these kids grow up eventually, and vote.

  30. AnitaMann says:

    But they’re breeding.

  31. Because a lot of people think orchids look very sexual, particularly in a feminine way.

  32. Really? What didn’t you like?

  33. LOL yes, and when whoever it was responds, you did not just say “vagenda” LOL They had the best writing.

  34. Reference? Link?

  35. NorthAlabama says:

    in professional settings, isn’t the appropriate term “vah-j-j”???

  36. SkippyFlipjack says:

    Woo-woo is considered archaic. Educators in the US typically use “puddy tat”.

  37. SkippyFlipjack says:


  38. Drew2u says:

    hahaha, brilliant! If only I could like that show…

  39. BeccaM says:

    Prompted by John’s recent experience with watching Fringe, I went back to our blu-ray collection and ran into this amazing line from Dr. Walter Bishop: “It’s all because of that temptress! She tricked my son with her carnal manipulations and he fell RIGHT into her vagenda.”

  40. karmanot says:

    OMG Jomicur, you sound like Rip Van Winkle. Teenagers know more about sex than we ever did.

  41. karmanot says:

    We looked at the Monkey Ward’s Catalog underwear section to spot ding dongs, but they were all air brushed out.

  42. karmanot says:

    In Kansas they call it the woo-wrong.

  43. karmanot says:

    Vagina, yesterday, today and tomorrow.

  44. karmanot says:

    Thetysay parts of Kansas are like Turkmenistan.

  45. karmanot says:

    My right of right wing brother lives there, thus it’s not a ‘nice’ state.

  46. karmanot says:

    Vaginas are librul code.

  47. karmanot says:

    Maybe your vagina is on fire. That’s a crisis you can verify on your own.

  48. Drew2u says:

    We usually just mispronounce ‘fajita’.

  49. slappymagoo says:

    In the movie High Anxiety, there’s a scene where Mel Brooks’ character, a brilliant psychiatrist, is conducting a convention lecture on Freudian analysis, only to have to “clean it up” when a fellow doctor attends the lecture with his kids. Brooks refers to “the place where babies come from” as the woo-woo. Sorry I couldn’t find the clip or transcript.

  50. You know, I’m all for home schooling in a way. I mean, I would definitely love it if parents who freak out because the secular humanists are using the public schools to corrupt their little Timmy’s purity of essence with blasphemy about sex and evolution and so forth could pull their precious snowflakes out of the schools and leave the rest of us in peace. If they think that the only curriculum a growing child needs is a steady diet of prayer and Rush Limbaugh then let them do so alone.

  51. I think that was discovered in Ecuador, Peru and Colombia within the last 20 years, and already they have lots of hybrids for it. Hope you get to have a place with light again! Looks like you did a good job growing them!

  52. ComradeRutherford says:

    Given the mangled sentence construction, I would say it’s a bot. Or it’s Chinese run through Bablefish…

  53. ComradeRutherford says:

    “…red berets and surly demeanor.”

    I demand to know how you have seen my wife’s genitalia!

  54. BeccaM says:

    Idaho: Proudly educating the next generation of fast food and Walmart workers, most of whom will be grandparents long before they hit 40 years old.

  55. samizdat says:

    I think either usage is acceptable, provided they are of a suitably mocking tone :)

    Vagina…Most sixth graders don’t even blink at worse, and yet these silly, immature simpletons turn red at the mere mention of the word. I am laughing so hard right now.

  56. Yes that was a lovely phrag I owned back when I lived in an apt that had sunlight :( I’d have to check my records, but that might even be the mix I got with that new souther american phrag they’d found.

  57. The same can be said for Mississippi. Have you ever gone to bat for Mississippians?

  58. Why a picture of an orchid for a story about “vagina”? “Orchid” is the Greek word for testicle, hence “orchidectomy” being the medical term for castration.

  59. I didn’t see that one. Some TV somewhere said woo-woo, that’s why I added it to the post.

  60. samizdat says:

    Woo-woo? Really? But South Park told me it was the cha-cha.

    Heh-heh…I said…cha-cha…Heh-heh-heh…

  61. Dave of the Jungle says:

    Yeah, there’s no consensus that vaginas exist. So important.

  62. PeteWa says:

    seriously, what is it with you and this “scientific consensus” spam?
    looking through your idiotic posting history, it’s a comment you recycle over and over.
    are you hoping that at some point someone as dumb as you are will finally agree?
    or are you really just an ineptly coded bot?

  63. nicho says:

    When I was in high school, the superintendent of schools, a wizened old spinster, took all the new biology textbooks to her house in August, before the start of school. There, she used a razor blade to remove the chapters on reproduction from all the books. Of course, that was in the 50s.

  64. Jafafa Hots says:

    Only religion deals in certainties. And they back it up with…

  65. Mike_in_the_Tundra says:

    That’s what my mommy told me. Of course, I eventually had to tell her I was much more interested in peepees.

  66. nicho says:

    Homeskooled? Just guessing.

  67. nicho says:

    Turkmenistan has some places that are breathtakingly beautiful. There are some very nice people there too. I’m still not going.

  68. mememine says:

    There isn’t any scientific consensus:

    Science will say comet hits are real but science will not say climate change is as real as a comet hit. It’s been 27 years of “maybe”. A comet hit of an emergency needs certainty, not more “maybes”. Find one IPCC warning not swimming in “maybes”. Help my house is on fire maybe?

    All of science agrees it might be a crisis, not will be a crisis.

  69. Ginger_FL says:

    And I thought it was a “VA J J”
    I lived in MT for several years, traveled quite a bit to ID, there are some extreme nutcases in that lovely part of the world. Many of them are doomsday preppers, home school their kids, white supremists, you know…the typical raciest hateful fearful types.

  70. jomicur says:

    Because teenage girls don’t know they have vaginas. And most teenage boys don’t even have a suspicion that such things exist, either.

  71. I guess I’m easily distracted. Love that photo of a Phragmipedium orchid, would love to have one like that myself (looks like a P. besseae hybrid).

    Now, back on subject: These parents are not doing their children any favors, all shrieking in rage to hear that parts of the human body—where we all came from at that—being discussed.

  72. It’s called the hoo ha.

  73. Straightnotnarrow says:

    I’m sure in gross anatomy (now 14 years out for me) we called that the front bottom. But all seriousness aside, these people need to grow up. Uniformed and misinformed children will make unhealthy decisions regarding their reproductive health and will then have a life-time to reap the consequences.

    As an aside, miss the orchid blogging John ;)

  74. SkippyFlipjack says:

    Have you ever been to Idaho? It’s beautiful, and there are a lot of really nice people there too. In fact, they have teachers there who are comfortable teaching about anatomy and teaching climate change. So I’m not sure why you want to rip on the state in general rather than just the idiots in question.

  75. Dano2 says:

    Let us laugh at them and move on. You can’t fix what is wrong with them. Soon enough they’ll have died off and they will be a distant memory.



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