Missouri GOP now pushing the legitimate rape of science

A Republican state legislator in Missouri, which is still vying for the title of “new Alabama” along with Arizona and Tennessee, wants to force college kids in the state to learn about “the destiny” of the universe, galaxies and the human race.  Rick Brattin — who calls himself “a huge science buff” — also wants to force the redefinition, in law, of the phrase “scientific theory” to include “faith-based philosophy.”  So this way, priests could call themselves “scientists,” and creationism would be “science.”

Why stop there?  Why not just redefine the word “lie” to mean “truth” and cut out the middle man?  After all, that is what all of this is about.  Creationism doesn’t pass the smell test of science so the Republican party will either destroy science, deny science, or simply redefine science by legislative fiat.

Once again we see the brute force brutality of the Republican party, willing to legislate anything and everything, so long as it advances their hateful, backward, neanderthal agenda.

From the same state and political party that brought you “legitimate rape,” I give you the legitimate rape of science, Missouri-Republican style:

Rick Brattin via Mother Jones

Rick Brattin via Mother Jones

HB 291, the “Missouri Standard Science Act,” redefines a few things you thought you already knew about science. For example, a “hypothesis” is redefined as something that reflects a “minority of scientific opinion and is “philosophically unpopular.” A scientific theory is “an inferred explanation…whose components are data, logic and faith-based philosophy.” And “destiny” is not something that $5 fortune tellers believe in; Instead, it’s “the events and processes that define the future of the universe, galaxies, stars, our solar system, earth, plant life, animal life, and the human race.”The bill requires that Missouri elementary and secondary schools—and even introductory science classes in public universities—give equal textbook space to both evolution and intelligent design (any other “theories of origin” are allowed to be taught as well, so pick your favorite creation myth—I’m partial to the Russian raven spirit.) “I can’t imagine any mainstream textbook publisher would comply with this,” Meikle says. “The material doesn’t exist.”

I guess it’s time to stop sending your kids to state colleges in Missouri. If the Republican party thinks college is meant to be their own personal Soviet-style indoctrination camp, then kids can spend their money in states that have already joined the 21st century.

An American in Paris, France. BA in History & Political Science from Ohio State. Provided consulting services to US software startups, launching new business overseas that have both IPO’d and sold to well-known global software companies. Currently launching a new cloud-based startup. Full bio here.

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79 Responses to “Missouri GOP now pushing the legitimate rape of science”

  1. Loreless says:

    Nations controlled by religious organisations with poorly educated populations tend to go on the war path anyway. So wile there’s still some sane hands at the wheel would you guys mind writing the instructions for your nukes in Polysyllabic technical jargon so your descendants can’t nuke the rest of us for our blasphemous science and indoor plumbing?

  2. Brent says:

    Dr Suess, ‘Yurtle the Turtle’

  3. Brent says:

    Referring to Rabid-Right-Wingers as ‘Neanderthals’ Does a HUGE disservice to Neanderthals.

  4. Rakesh Kumar says:

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  5. karmanot says:

    You can get a Master’s degree on the Internet from Liberty University in Immaculate Conception.

  6. karmanot says:

    Oh yes, just more confirmation that Twinkies are poison.

  7. karmanot says:

    And it takes meat balls to propagate the universe.

  8. karmanot says:


  9. karmanot says:


  10. karmanot says:

    True, at least Catholic nuns had enough sense to call science, ‘science’ and theological magic, the mysteries of faith.

  11. Drew2u says:

    That sounds more appetizing than a McRib, at least.

  12. karmanot says:

    They will need someone to build the Great Wall of Mexico.

  13. karmanot says:

    I can see it now. McDonald’s will offer cashew chicken and fried rice.

  14. BeccaM says:

    That’s because they’re not actually anti-government. They just want a government that will impose their archaic and ignorant religious myths on the rest of the country, by force of civil law, and outlaw any other viewpoints and/or objective science.

    It’s pretty classic as far as the imposition of theocratic rule goes.

  15. Badgerite says:

    The more they talk, the less I am convinced of their sincerity in anything they say. Whether it relates to school curriculum, a commitment to voter rights, equality, women’s issues, economic issues, religious freedom or reproductive rights. And I wouldn’t have said that only a couple of years ago. Are they aware of how much they are alienating people?

  16. BeccaM says:


  17. wwajdblogger says:

    American Jesus would surely support this bill.

  18. Stratplayer says:

    Actually, Nicolas Cage is the One True God: http://www.reddit.com/r/onetruegod

  19. UncleBucky says:

    Arrggh real, I tells ya, yarrrr! Why, I can prove it! Let me open a jar of spaghetti sauce and show you just how fast the “creator” arrive to my table with all its regalia! ;o)

  20. silas1898 says:

    There’s not enough Prilosec in the world to help that.

  21. silas1898 says:

    That’s two words :) It confuzes them.

  22. Tom says:

    Gay face… he has gay face!

  23. rmthunter says:

    Cue lawsuit for violation of Establishment Clause. Has the man not heard of Kitzmiller vs. Dover School District? Hmm — probably not, now that I think about it.

  24. rmthunter says:

    Who said the Chinese want an educated workforce? They an always go to India for that.

  25. Mike_in_the_Tundra says:

    Just imagine the lion’s indigestion.

  26. pappyvet says:

    I agree and it is extremely sad and alarming

  27. BeccaM says:

    Why would they bother? There won’t be anything of value left by then. Not even an educated workforce.

  28. AdmNaismith says:

    The problem is that it’s working. We need people, lawmaker’s especially, to expose these people and their ridiculous pandering. But someone say ‘Jesus’, and they get a free pass and everyone else cowers in fear of the 6000-yr-old-Earth minority-that-is-growing-into-a-majority.

  29. Mark_in_MN says:

    We must not let people have health care! *shakes head*

    Not only is it dreck, it’s such poorly written dreck that it doesn’t make any sense.

  30. Drew2u says:

    I thought it was “Fairy tale”

  31. Drew2u says:

    China will invade (or more likely, buy) the U.S. long before then.

  32. Zorba says:

    William James sounds good to me,, nicho. Whichever, my brother, the quote is good. ;-)

  33. BeccaM says:

    “See the Turtle of enormous girth!
    On his shell he holds the Earth.
    His thoughts are slow, but always kind.
    He keeps us all within his mind.”

    – The Dark Tower, Stephen King

  34. nicho says:

    Too many Christians — too few lions.

  35. nicho says:

    Actually, it was the philosopher William James.

  36. Zorba says:

    May you be touched by His Noodly Appendage, Pete. Carbo Diem, my brother.

  37. karmanot says:

    His mom?

  38. karmanot says:

    …….still laughing

  39. PeteWa says:

    It is the one true religion!

  40. karmanot says:

    Rick Brattin makes a good case for Cause and Affectation.

  41. karmanot says:

    One has to admit that your dystopian vision falls in line with America as exceptional.

  42. karmanot says:

    Liburels did it!

  43. samizdat says:

    *face, palm* I almost hate to admit it, but I live in the City of St. Louis. I love this state, but unfortunately, there was a re-districting back in 2010 (?), and it didn’t turn out too well for many urban/suburban regions in the state. The Confederate States of America contingent–just about anyplace outside the Cities of St. Louis, Kansas City, and Columbia (U of M main campus)–is like this, with the possible exception of Iron County, which went Drone-bama in ’08. Can you say gerrymandering? Sure, I knew that you could. Not only was there re-districting, but the black caucus teamed up with the Repubs to ensure that Lacy Clay remained in office, to the detriment of Russ Carnahan, who in my opinion is a person of greater integrity than Clay.

    Oh, well, whaddya gonna do. Stoopids gotta be stoopid.

    And yeah, this guy looks a little um, ahem, haaaappy. I’ve got straight-man gaydar, but geez, c’mon…

  44. Blogvader says:

    On be half of my fellow Missourians, please accept my apology for these bozos.

  45. Can’t we reinstitute the ‘throwing Christians to the lions’ as sport?

  46. Not that tere’s anything wrong with that.

  47. jaichbin says:

    And blaming it all on Obama!

  48. Zorba says:

    Are you a Pastafarian, PeteWa? I hope so! ;-)

  49. Zorba says:

    Love the turtle myth, Mighty!
    ‘A well-known scientist (some say it was Bertrand Russell)
    once gave a public lecture on astronomy. He described how the earth
    orbits around the sun and how the sun, in turn, orbits around the center
    of a vast collection of stars called our galaxy. At the end of the
    lecture, a little old lady at the back of the room got up and said:
    “What you have told us is rubbish. The world is really a flat plate
    supported on the back of a giant tortoise.” The scientist gave a
    superior smile before replying, “What is the tortoise standing on?”
    “You’re very clever, young man, very clever,” said the old lady. “But
    it’s turtles all the way down!” ‘
    —Stephen Hawking, 1988

    Mr. Zorba, in fact, has a T-shirt that says, “It’s turtles all the way down,” with a graphic of a bunch of turtles, standing on each other. He is a molecular geneticist, and delights in wearing this T-shirt. Maybe I should urge him to travel to Missouri, with his shirt, and confront Rick Brattin.

  50. Naja pallida says:

    The only thing his website is missing is having it all drawn in crayon.

  51. Naja pallida says:

    We’re already somewhere around 25th in math and 20th in science. Other countries have already passed us by, and they are proposing we continue to make it worse. While also making us the laughing stock of the civilized world.

  52. RepubAnon says:

    Ever wonder how places such as Damascus were centers of scientific knowledge during the Middle Ages, but later fell far behind? It’s actually quite simple: fundamentalist religious fanatics took over the schools and insisted that only their Holy Book be taught.

    It doesn’t matter which religion a fanatic preaches, what follows is always ignorance.

  53. Mighty says:

    I like the myth that we are all on the back of a giant turtle. If they are going to teach creationism and force it then we on the other side should force them to impart ALL religious beliefs. EVERY single one of them.

  54. Mighty says:

    They are going to keep dumbing down the education in this country until every other sensible country passes us by in technology and science. Oh admittedly its already heading that way but do we have to fast track it?

  55. RepubAnon says:

    Funny how the anti-government crowd is always ready to use the power of government to bend people to their will. Pass laws to prevent people from holding corporations responsible for the harm they do, or pass laws favoring their preferred religion above all others (plus outlawing certain disfavored religions), it’s all about the Republicans seeking absolute power to match their level of corruption.

  56. Naja pallida says:

    I took religion classes in grade school as a mandatory part of the curriculum, but that’s just it. They were taught specifically as a religion class, and never claimed to be what it wasn’t. Nobody ever once tried to claim that scientific theory was wrong, or that religion was wrong, they just taught their classes and tried to instill students with the ability to think for themselves and make up their own damn minds about what they see in the world.

  57. PeteWa says:

    praise his holy delicious name!

  58. Dave of the Jungle says:

    The Flying Spaghetti Monster is real.

  59. tomtallis says:

    I wonder who bleaches the tips of his hair? Looks like a cheap job.

  60. UncleBucky says:

    Hey. Read his web site and his section on Government, etc.

    It reads like a high school term paper. Or?

  61. UncleBucky says:

    Aaron Schock’s? Tee hee. (Sorry, folks, I’m mean just now, and I am from Illinois.)

  62. UncleBucky says:

    ‘Specially if one got an A+ in Creation Science. Recruiter: “Mmmmm… nice grade point average, but we’d have to listen more about your definition of science, student, to admit you to Cornell*. Oh welll…”
    * Cornell – Where Carl Sagan did a lot of his work.

  63. Indigo says:

    There is a word for”faith-based philosophy.” We call that “superstition.”

  64. UncleBucky says:


  65. UncleBucky says:

    R’amen, sisters and brothers! Let me get my bottle o’ Sangria out! And a plate o’ pasta! Arrrgh that be good grub!

  66. UncleBucky says:

    When the god sneezed? That accounts for the Multiverse. Oh wait, it’ s not.

  67. mtblaze says:

    I still wonder how Creationists will explain to our young children that, according to Genesis 6, the “Sons of God” looked down on human women and like the way they looked so they came to Earth and mated with them creating a race of Giants called the Nephelim. I think Homo-Angelic coupling could be a tricky course to teach.

  68. Indigo says:

    Those people have no sense at all but they have stumbled onto the key evrn Osama didn’t find, cultivate a stupidity that undermines our scientific base and we’ll be back to cooking over a twig fire in the back yard iin less han two generations. It’ll be a weenie roast life style, very third world.

  69. Dddavid says:

    Missouri won’t have any accredited colleges left then. No one will hire from them. At least he’s (Brattin) pretty on the outside. Too bad he’s a complete idiot.

  70. BeccaM says:

    My favorite creation story is Flying Spaghetti Monsterism. Because it is every bit as plausible and provable as every other creation myth.


  71. BeccaM says:

    Each day, they drive another nail into the coffin of America’s ‘First World’ status.

    Seriously, one day, Americans will look up, see the orbiting space habitats and captured asteroids flying other nations’ flags and believe them to be pinpricks in the heavenly firmament. Or maybe angels buzzing around up there.

    And as these poor morons scrabble for a few paltry chunks of internationally banned sulfur-rich coal to burn to heat their decaying hovels (while other countries’ citizens have clean and virtually limitless non-fossil energy sources), they’ll puff up their sunken, malnourished, disease-ridden chests and boast that America is the best nation there was, is, and ever will be, for ever and ever, Amen. Because believing in something always makes it so.

  72. nicho says:

    I’m quite partial to the creation theory in which the universe was created when the god masturbated. I hope they’re going to teach that one.

  73. nicho says:

    Socialist realism? Not quite sure what this has to do with art.

  74. Guest says:

    Sure sign of totalitarianism is an attempt to control language. This guy puts socialist realism to shame.

  75. Just an elbow says:

    Off topic, I know, but what about that headshot? He may hate the gays, but I wager he’s had a dick in his mouth a time or two.

  76. Gindy51 says:

    How many universities in and outside Missouri are going to reject applicants because they are taught his stuff? I don’t really want to find out, but if this passes some one sure will.

  77. SkippyFlipjack says:

    The audacity is almost shocking. Redefining “Scientific theory” to include explanations based on “faith-based philosophy” is straight out of Orwell. Unbelievable.

  78. pappyvet says:

    Creationism is a cheap political trick to
    get religion taught in the public school system,thats all that it is and to approach it in any other way is playing into the hands of the 6000 year old Earth crowd.

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