The South is a drag on America. Let the former Confederacy secede.
File Governor Perry’s Lincoln appropriation under “Just Because You Have New Glasses Doesn’t Mean You’re Smart.”
Vladimir Putin is such a fan of democratic referenda to set a people free, so why does he refuse to free his own?
The only choices on the ballot are whether to join Russia now or later.
Ignore Bobby Jindal’s extremist past and behold, the new moderate, and other tales of fiction.
And take your drinking buddies, Alabama and Mississippi, with you.
If Texas wants to go, let it — but make sure it pays us back the billions it took from us first.
Don’t let Oklahoma hit your ass on the way out.