“Just to get the story I bit the bullet, and some other stuff, and managed to penetrate Sochi’s gay underground.”

Buddy, in fur, went to the protest zone and protested that his martini had run out of vodka. Cops were unamused.

Russian police tear-gassed and whipped Pussy Riot for singing a song. They also whipped a photographer.

“The aim of this ritual is to land your walnut in the center of the nest.”

As a result, Kiev is now in flames, and many are talking about the prospect of a civil war.

Vladimir Luxuria’s rainbow outfit was deemed too gay by the Olympic police.

Vladimir Luxuria, a trans woman, was walking around Sochi Olympics with a flag saying in Italian “Gay is okay.”

He’s lined up kennels and vaccinations for the puppies, and hopes to bring some of them back home with him.

“There was no hiding the fact that their tights screamed ‘gay propagnda’.”