Blount County, Tennessee to vote on whether to ask God to spare them from coming anti-gay wrath

Karen Miller, a local elected official in Blount County, Tennessee, isn’t sure what kind of wrathful vengeance God has planned for America after legalizing same-sex marriage nationwide. But she does want God to know that it isn’t her or her God-fearing friends’ fault, and that she should be spared from the inevitable razing of American civilization.

Tomorrow evening, Miller will introduce a resolution affirming the county’s commitment to resisting “unlawful orders, no matter their source – whether from a military commander, a federal judge, or the United States Supreme Court,” asking God to put their county in the eye of the coming hurricane of fire and brimstone:

America, circa 2016, except Blount County, Tennessee, via Wikimedia Commons

America, circa 2016, except Blount County, Tennessee, via Wikimedia Commons

With a firm reliance upon the providence of Almighty God WE the BLOUNT COUNTY LEGISLATURE call upon all of the Officers of the State of Tennessee, the Governor, the Attorney General, and the members of the Tennessee Legislature, to join US, and utilize all authority within their power to protect Natural Marriage, from lawless court opinions, AND THE financial schemes of the enemies of righteousness wherever the source AND defend the Moral Standards of Tennessee.

WE adopt this Resolution before God that He pass us by in His Coming Wrath and not destroy our County as He did Sodom and Gomorrah and the neighboring cities. As the Passover Lamb was a means of salvation to the ancient Children of Israel, so we stand upon the safety of the Lamb of God to save us.

WE adopt this Resolution begging His favor in light of the fact that we have been forced to comply and recognize that the State of Tennessee, like so many other God-fearing States, MAY have fallen prey to a lawless judiciary in legalizing what God and the Bible expressly forbids.

The resolution, entitled “Resolution condemning judicial tyranny and petitioning God’s mercy,” doesn’t have any legal implications. However, the government-sanctioned prayer presumably only works if all of the town’s residents agree to not do any gay stuff — when the government passes a resolution, it does so in its entire jurisdiction’s name. This is one of the many reasons why governments making appeals to one specific deity are problematic: unless everyone in the jurisdiction is on board, someone’s bound to slip up and ruin it for everyone else. If this resolution passes, and anyone in the town then gets gay married, the town as a whole will have lied and sinned against the family. Double wrath of God be upon them.

As an aside, what exactly does Miller mean by “financial schemes”? Does she mean that the Big Gay Mafia crashed the financial system, like Matt Staver at Liberty Counsel does? Or did she throw in a reference to the greedy Jewish cabal as an aside, because this resolution didn’t cover enough Christian supremacist ground?

Not that it matters in the grand scheme of things, because it carries no legal requirements, but here’s hoping the resolution is voted down. Every time the government endorses religion, an angel rips off a fish’s legs.

(h/t Joe.My.God.)


Jon Green graduated from Kenyon College with a B.A. in Political Science and high honors in Political Cognition. He worked as a field organizer for Congressman Tom Perriello in 2010 and a Regional Field Director for President Obama's re-election campaign in 2012. Jon writes on a number of topics, but pays especially close attention to elections, religion and political cognition. Follow him on Twitter at @_Jon_Green, and on Google+. .

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  • Thanks, Karmanot

  • 2karmanot

    “That is some serious f*cking precision smiting, no?” ROTFL! That dear Becca, is an instant classic. Well done!

  • 2karmanot

    Oh my, the South will slouch and fall again. These regressive states of bumbling ignorance and cultist Christian nonsense are becoming caricatures of what is the absolute nadir of the American zeitgeist. These are probably the same people who watch Lawrence Welk on PBS and think it’s high culture or worse, may issue a Jeebus fatwa against the Muppets because Disney, you know, the scandal that is Ms Piggy and Kermie. Worse, these backasswards morons vote repeatedly to de-fund education, infrastructure, and civic improvements get wiped out by floods and forces of nature and expect to get bailed out by the evil central government using our tax dollars. I suggest the Feds apply sanctions to these swamp crawling retrograde mind midgets until they fall inline with Constitutional law.

  • Then as in now, you are safe only in the name of their God
    During the founding of this great nation they rose up.
    Once in America Protestants turned on Catholics and vice versa. Sometimes they joined forces & many people found it a nightmare once they got here and still do to this day. As recently as 1960 when President Kennedy almost wasn’t elected because he was Catholic and people said he’d beholden to the pope!
    European Mennonites were either burned or impaled on iron forks by Catholic authorities in Ghent only to come here and be persecuted.
    Jesuits were under constant surveillance and threat from the Protestant governments of England and Scotland, many were sentenced to death and hanged and mutilated. Those who made it here were branded as heretics and witches.
    – Catholic ruler Archbishop Leopold von Firmian, issued an edict expelling as many as 20,000 Lutherans in the midst of winter and many froze to death… Those that came here were either forced to convert or flee inland.
    – Many religious refugees had their Bibles seized and burned by Puritans on arrival to the new land because they didn’t match exactly either catholic or protestant texts.
    Now it’s the Southern Baptist’s turn along with fanatical Born Agains who believe they are above the law and government because they self righteously were “assigned by God…” but only their God.

  • Ah yes… the Tennessee Taliban strikes again…

  • Jeff Brown

    Asking god for anything, through prayer or vote, is an admission that god is not omniscient. Believing that god’s wrath can be halted by a vote is an admission that god is not omnipotent.

    Making excuses for god is hard work. Just admit that god doesn’t exist, and you will be much happier, and have more free time.

  • MerryMarjie

    Well, if this doesn’t work, I guess they could always burn somebody at the stake.

  • MerryMarjie

    Doesn’t everyone?

  • “I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life.” — Genesis 9:13-15

    “So next time it’s gonna be famine, disease, war, fire, meteor storms, angelic slaughter and calamitous destruction, motherf*ckers. An apocalypse that will end and destroy the entire universe forever. But don’t worry, because ‘flood’ is off the list.” (Summary of ‘The Book of Revelation.’)

  • emjayay

    Oh for chrissake just secede already. You may remember how it’s done from the last time. Without the actual slavery issue, maybe we’ll just let you go this time so you can institute your happy Christian Caliphate. And good luck with that.

    No fair planting IED’s in the escape routes either.

  • I’m pretty sure the one they follow goes by the name ‘Mammon.’

  • Aye, I’ve recounted the full story before in rather colloquial terms… But to consider another angle as well: Yahweh’s precision aim in Egypt was such that he was able to slaughter every firstborn child (and no one else), but NOT hurt the families of those who’d daubed their doors with blood. Yet in Sodom and Gomorrah, not even one infant was deemed innocent enough to spare. Not one child, woman (pregnant or otherwise), or invalid. Everybody.

    And I’ve always thought it supremely ironic that the guy who offered his own daughters up to be raped ended up being raped by them in turn.

  • I hope I am around when God votes NO on this resolution

  • Baal

    It is also worth noting that God was perfectly ok with the fact that Lot’s daughters got him drunk and then fucked him.

  • Baal

    This could be problematic if the real god is Molloch and he gets pissed off.

  • Doug105

    Yes, yell and wave at history’s most prolific serial killer till you get his attention and ask him not to hurt us.

    https://a.disquscdn.com/uploads/mediaembed/images/2611/1464/original.jpg?w=600&h

  • Badgerite

    No matter what they have said in court to justify their discriminatory bans, there it is for all to see.
    Their “legitimate state purpose” is to enact a ban to prevent God from punishing the faithful for tolerating the gay. So, obviously, it has nothing at all to do with trying to impose their religious belief on the country as a whole. Obviously.

  • Glen Thompson

    Tennessee? I think God would skip it regardless.

  • Indigo

    Cute.

  • Yep, was just about to quote that.

    “‘Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were
    arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy.” (New International version)

    Then again, I’ve noticed most of the Bible-humpers really don’t read the story of Sodom and Gomorrah very closely. Or pay attention to the fact that the one guy deemed worth saving, Lot, was the same one who offered his own daughters to a mob to be raped.

  • JaneE

    I guess they haven’t read Ezekiel 16:49.

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