CONFIRMED: Scott Walker is a Labrador

We here at AMERICAblog have it on good confidence that Scott Walker may, in fact, be part Labrador Retriever. Sources close to the Wisconsin governor say that he is a very smart boy, loves tennis balls and gets all riled up at the mere mention of workers organizing collectively to form unions.

Walker, whose heritage includes Welsh, German, Irish and other ancestries, rarely mentions that he is also part Lab.

A series of off-the-cuff Tweets are what tipped us off: surely, if Labradors could Tweet, these are the kinds of Tweets they would Tweet.

If that doesn’t have you convinced, no doubt these side-by-side comparisons will:

walk1 walk1d

The similarities are just… jaw-dropping.

walk2d walk2

They’re practically twins.

walk3 walk3d

Really, note the jaw. And that tongue! A stunning resemblance.

While the Walker campaign has yet to respond to these revelations, a senior Republican staffer who asked not to be identified had this to offer: “Now that you mention it, it does explain a lot.” He then leaned in and put a hand to one side of his mouth while whispering loudly out the other: “And, honestly, it may help us out with the whole ‘diversity’ thing.” The staffer then let out a good-hearted chuckle, a shrug and a grimace.

Another clue came earlier this week, when Governor Walker made the following Tweet and then promptly deleted it:

walktweet

Concerned about optics, Walker’s aides replaced the Tweet with this more wonkish response to the President’s deal with Iran.

Of course, Labradors are known for a number of positive and attractive traits, making them America’s most popular breed. After all, Labradors are known for their loyalty; sweet, lovable eyes; and their boundless energy! Surely the Labrador brand will only enhance Walker’s presidential run.

And, of course, Labs are well-known for being fiercely protective of their masters:

image00

 

Talk about a GOOD BOY!


James Neimeister is a freelance writer from Ohio. His interests include: Russia, Ukraine, education, technology, and "cyberspace."

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  • James

    this was more of a vehicle for the gif of the koch brothers patting Walker’s head, which is now yours free to use on the internet whenever you see fit~~

  • Indigo

    The dwindling is happening.

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  • judybrowni

    Nope, because Labradors, like dolphins, love to meet new people

  • Jim Olson

    Thanks, Mike, but I too was expecting clever wit or humor. There was none present. Alas, AmericaBlog is not what it once was. My frequency of reading has dropped significantly.

  • emjayay

    Why thank you, and the same here. I was hoping for some unexpected wit, but didn’t find any.

  • Mike_in_the_Tundra

    I have always considered you and emjayay to be intelligent. What did you expect when you opened a thread that said Scott Walker is a labrador? Some of us need a little funny in our lives.

  • 2karmanot

    I’ve given this some serious thought James and come to the conclusion that your intuition about Walker’s nomenclature is near the mark—-not Lab mind you but ‘Weaseyena’, a cross between weasel and hyena.

  • 1jetpackangel

    Bulldog + Shih Tzu = Bullshit.

  • Jim Olson

    Concur. Not impressed. This is beneath the quality of this blog. My frequency of reading is dropping in direct proportion to the quality of posts.

  • Jim Olson

    Monitor?

  • RJC

    Scott Walker is the exact opposite of a Labrador Retriever. It is an insult to compare this sociopath to any dog. Dogs are man’s best friend. Scott Walker is the Koch brother’s tool.

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  • emjayay

    This is the second stupid pointless piece I’ve seen at Americablog in the past week or two. Please stop printing homework assignments written by college freshmen. You are wasting all our time and devaluing your blog. Posting nothing is much better than posting crap.

    Dogs aren’t jerks. And their eyes are usually at the same level.

  • 2karmanot

    Labs…no way. Labs are way cool….Lab defamation league will picket your office! Walker is an amoeba.

  • Hue-Man

    Does that make Walker an SOB?

  • Labrapoo maybe… If you emphasize poo.

  • Mike_in_the_Tundra

    I read this to our Golden. He said that Walker was several rungs below a cat.

  • Gindy51

    So he’s a toy poodle now? HA!

  • Gindy51

    My part lab is totally insulted.

  • Indigo

    Any dog lover can tell you there’s no resemblance. Labs are smart.

  • Baal

    On the other hand it wouldnt surprise me if Scott Walker tried to hump your leg.

  • Knottwhole

    And they care about people.

  • A few months ago I thought Walker was the most likely nominee. But he seems to have little traction with voters. Go figure. In terms of national politics he’s hardly important enough to waste bandwidth on. Of course he’s destroying the great state of Wisconsin, so that’s significant but he’s not even a contender for the GOP nomination.

  • Buford2k11

    I didn’t know Labs can tweet….I tried to teach my pittie how to text, but without opposable thumbs, auto-correct was a bitch and Siri was a distraction…plus his sense of humor was a little too dry for me…

  • nicho

    Walker Lite and Miller Lite — good combination.

  • Baal

    Nonsense. Labradors are nice.

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