CONFIRMED: Scott Walker is a Labrador

We here at AMERICAblog have it on good confidence that Scott Walker may, in fact, be part Labrador Retriever. Sources close to the Wisconsin governor say that he is a very smart boy, loves tennis balls and gets all riled up at the mere mention of workers organizing collectively to form unions.

Walker, whose heritage includes Welsh, German, Irish and other ancestries, rarely mentions that he is also part Lab.

A series of off-the-cuff Tweets are what tipped us off: surely, if Labradors could Tweet, these are the kinds of Tweets they would Tweet.

If that doesn’t have you convinced, no doubt these side-by-side comparisons will:

walk1 walk1d

The similarities are just… jaw-dropping.

walk2d walk2

They’re practically twins.

walk3 walk3d

Really, note the jaw. And that tongue! A stunning resemblance.

While the Walker campaign has yet to respond to these revelations, a senior Republican staffer who asked not to be identified had this to offer: “Now that you mention it, it does explain a lot.” He then leaned in and put a hand to one side of his mouth while whispering loudly out the other: “And, honestly, it may help us out with the whole ‘diversity’ thing.” The staffer then let out a good-hearted chuckle, a shrug and a grimace.

Another clue came earlier this week, when Governor Walker made the following Tweet and then promptly deleted it:

walktweet

Concerned about optics, Walker’s aides replaced the Tweet with this more wonkish response to the President’s deal with Iran.

Of course, Labradors are known for a number of positive and attractive traits, making them America’s most popular breed. After all, Labradors are known for their loyalty; sweet, lovable eyes; and their boundless energy! Surely the Labrador brand will only enhance Walker’s presidential run.

And, of course, Labs are well-known for being fiercely protective of their masters:

image00

 

Talk about a GOOD BOY!


James Neimeister is a freelance writer from Ohio. His interests include: Russia, Ukraine, education, technology, and "cyberspace."

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