Russia’s a big bottom

Well isn’t this queer. Vladimir Putin’s oh-so-Christian Russia leads the world in online searches for videos about anal sex.

The video porn site Pornhub did an analysis of who searched for which videos on its site, broken down by country and type of video, and what do you know — Russia came out on top of the bottoms.

All of this is especially ironic as Russian President Putin has been on a bit of a jihad the past few years against all things g-a-y.  And it doesn’t get more gay in the mind of a homophobe than going out for some Greek.

In addition to signing legislation pretty much banning anything perceived as “gay,” Putin has also been empowering a nationwide network of Russian neo-Nazi gangs who regularly kidnap young gays.

boris-and-natasha

Boris and Natasha have a secret.

The group is called “Occupy Pedophilia” — the name is a pun on Occupy Wall Street, and the word “pedophilia” is used because Russians still believe erroneously that all pedophiles are gay.

Since everything officially-frowned up on is “gay,” you’d think anal sex would be a big no-no in Putin’s post-Soviet paradise.  But in fact, kneeling at the altar is a big yes-yes for God-fearing Russians desperate to find a way to pass those blustery winter nights after the TV’s exploded.

sizzling

Here’s a sampling of Pornhub’s research.  They don’t post a listing of all countries, but have indicated that Russia came out number one.

pornhub-anal-search-countries-world

In fact, the survey shows that Russians are twice as interested in romancing the bum as the US.  And Russia even beats other western nations such as Germany and Italy, which is interesting because Putin has also been on a tear about European “decadence.”

pornhub-russia-anal

Also of interest was Pornhub’s comparison of overall search terms from Russians versus Americans. “Anal” pops up twice in the Russian top 10 list — it doesn’t even merit a mention in the US list until you hit #16.

And if you look at the top 25 terms from each country, America still has only 2 “anals,” to Russia’s 4. (Brings new meaning to the phrase “beeg trouble for moose and squirrel.”)

pornhub-russia-top-searches2

Boy, there’s a lot of Russia-centric sex going on in that search archive.

And “Czech“?

(And I’m not even going to ask what a “creampie” is.)

pornhub-us-top-searches2

Btw, has anyone checked the history on this guy’s computer?

Kremlin propaganda chief Dmitri Kisilev (aka Dmitry Kiselyov).

Kremlin heterosexual-in-chief chief Dmitri Kisilev (aka Dmitry Kiselyov).

You remember Kisilev? He’s the now- Kremlin propaganda chief who railed about the need to burn the hearts of gay car accident victims, lest someone use the “gay” organs for transplants – see video below. (Kisilev is also the guy who threatened to turn the US into “radioactive ash” on Russian state TV. Though, in retrospect, perhaps he meant “ass.”)

Favorite part of the Kisilev video? Nine seconds in when he spits the word “mah-la.” Seriously, that gurl deserves an Oscar for that word alone.

(_!_)


Follow me on Twitter: @aravosis | @americablog | @americabloggay | Facebook | Google+ | LinkedIn. John Aravosis is the editor of AMERICAblog, which he founded in 2004. He has a joint law degree (JD) and masters in Foreign Service from Georgetown (1989); and worked in the US Senate, World Bank, Children's Defense Fund, and as a stringer for the Economist. Frequent TV pundit: O'Reilly Factor, Hardball, World News Tonight, Nightline & Reliable Sources. Bio, .

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  • Olterigo

    Love the title and Kiselev’s photo under it!

  • 2karmanot
  • Don Chandler

    Brilliant exposition. But sometimes when you get to the bottom, you find someone that wants to be made a bottom even though they are self-identified as a top: Let it be known henceforth as the Kiselyov Bottom

  • Don Chandler

    I never knew! Boris and Natasha are so covert. Not so much this dmitry kiselev–guilty as charged.

  • Mike_in_the_Tundra

    I’ll be happy to give my unsolicited opinion. I have not taken a survey, but there does seem to be a greater number of bottoms than tops. For the time being, let’s consider versatiles as place savers. In all aspects of life, we see the rarer group as being more worthwhile or valuable. Thus we assign more value or importance to tops.

    However, don’t we have more names for bottoms, such as greedy bottom, bossy bottom, or power bottom? Right now, I cannot think of any names for tops other than tops. Maybe subconsciously we do think bottoms are more important. Why else have all those names for bottoms?

    All in all, it’s just another of nature’s symbiotic relationships.

  • goulo

    To be clear, I was jokingly alluding the blog entry’s headline’s assumption that Russia must be specifically a “big bottom” due to interest in anal sex… and also trying to note and question the (implicit or unconscious, but often, in our society) assumption that being a bottom is mock-worthy, unlike being a top which seems considered more respectable, “manly”, etc.

  • http://AMERICAblog.com/ John Aravosis

    I knew about France, but not Russia.

  • Mike_in_the_Tundra

    Obviously, both groups have to be interested . Imagine what it would be like if only one of those groups was interested.

  • Anton

    John, I don’t know if you know that, but in Russian the most common word (slur) for gays is “pedik”, which of course comes from the word pederast. That’s why there is a connotation between being gay and being a pedophile. And I still don’t get why the French “pédé” is still a thing. They already have gay marriage, but that is the most common word for being gay. We even had that in the french lessons in Germany as the word for gay.

  • goulo

    Wait, are only bottoms, and not tops, interested in anal sex? Now I am confused. :)

  • Stev84

    Anal sex is practically standard in straight porn these days

  • The_Fixer

    I wouldn’t suggest that, but he clearly needs a vacation that does not involve medical tourism. The man needs a break :)

  • Mike_in_the_Tundra

    Perhaps we should tear a corner off of John’s gay card.

  • The_Fixer

    John, I think you’ve been working too much if you don’t know the definition of creampie.

    Presented as a public service.

  • http://parkandbark.wordpress.com/ Houndentenor

    And a bossy bottom at that!

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