Man tries to kill woman for eating 3 choco chip cookies for breakfast

A Decatur, Illinois man reportedly tried to strangle to death his female roommate after he found out that she had eaten 3 Chips Ahoy chocolate chip cookies for breakfast.

It’s unclear if the man was upset that the woman was eating his cookies, or rather that she was eating cookies for breakfast.

Though there is a third possibility. I mean, eating Chips Ahoy? Please.

These are my personal chocolate chip cookies, and let's just say, they're to die for.

These are my personal chocolate chip cookies, and let’s just say, they’re to die for.

While I admittedly would be pretty ticked with a roomie had they stolen my freshly-made chocolate cookies without asking, I’m not sure I’d literally try to strangle them to death.

According to the report in the local paper, the man banged on the bathroom door and said he was going to kill her. Thinking he was joking, she opened the door and told him to get it over with. So he lunged and her neck and threw her into the bathtub. That’s when the victim’s husband and landlady fortunately heard he ruckus and jumped in to save her.

Nice.

This definitely ranks up there with the South Carolina woman who stabbed her husband with a ceramic squirrel after he forget to buy beer.


Follow me on Twitter: @aravosis | @americablog | @americabloggay | Facebook | Google+ | LinkedIn. John Aravosis is the editor of AMERICAblog, which he founded in 2004. He has a joint law degree (JD) and masters in Foreign Service from Georgetown (1989); and worked in the US Senate, World Bank, Children's Defense Fund, and as a stringer for the Economist. Frequent TV pundit: O'Reilly Factor, Hardball, World News Tonight, Nightline & Reliable Sources. Bio, .

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  • Mike_in_the_Tundra

    If you ever find yourself in a position that you must buy chocolate chip cookies, go for Tates. I might not try to strangle anyone over them, but I might make their life miserable for a few minutes.

  • DesertSun59

    People actually eat Chips Ahoy? It’s the worst recipe for choco chips known to mankind!

  • emjayay

    I knew it was Shaffensomething.

  • Mike_in_the_Tundra

    Not if it was sativa.

  • Mike_in_the_Tundra

    My dear, late husband always brought me a cup of coffee while I was still in bed. It only took a couple of weeks for me to realize that he was doing it out of self preservation. The fact that he always handed me the coffee with his arm fully extended was a dead giveaway.

  • UFIA

    Yeah, I tried that once, but failed miserably. I really need Coffee before doing strenuous strangling in the mornings.

  • sane37

    Bah!.

    You forgot a twist of schadenfreude.

  • idendoit

    Commoner. It’s Irish butter and Schaffhausen Limited Edition 75% cocoa chunks.

  • emjayay

    OK, these people were low life crazies. Not really news. All the elitism about Chips Ahoy is a bit ridiculous however. Only handmade cookies made with organic while grain hand milled spelt and quinoa flour and European butter and free range organic eggs and Scharffenberger 72% cocoa chocolate chips for people like me! I spit out anything less!

  • dcinsider

    Well, the roommate code must be enforced with all means necessary or there is chaos.

  • The_Fixer

    No doubt on the dysfunction – one does not attempt strangulation over shitty cookies if they are perfectly fine. Just pointing out that there are reasons other than dysfunction for unusual living arrangements.

  • nicho

    Or reefer madness.

  • nicho

    Could be poverty. But that doesn’t mean you’re going to criminally assault someone over cookies. I’m sticking with major dysfunction.

  • The_Fixer

    Or maybe just plain ‘ol poverty. A lot of folks these days are in mixed – and what were once thought of as unusual – living situations. I have roommates for financial reasons, but would rather live alone if given the option (money).

    That and adult offspring living at their parents’ home after college are becoming the new norm, much like the old days when grandparents lived with their adult children.

  • http://AMERICAblog.com/ John Aravosis

    Aha….

  • http://AMERICAblog.com/ John Aravosis

    Lucy!

  • nicho

    Husband, wife, roommate, landlady? All in one apartment? Sounds like a lot of dysfunction could be going on there.

  • Mike_in_the_Tundra

    It could be roid rage.

  • Mike_in_the_Tundra

    It is chocolate, but Chips Ahoy? I would more likely want to strangle someone if they drank the last cup of morning coffee. Those who have seen me before my first cup of coffee in the morning would know I could get off for reason of insanity.

  • JoeMelrose

    This story was in the news a few weeks back. The key is that they weren’t just any 3 cookies, they were the last 3 cookies. But I agree with somebody who commented that this story has method rage written all over it.

  • http://heimaey.tumblr.us heimaey

    Chocolate is a drug.

  • http://www.americablog.com/ Naja pallida

    Mmm, brown spots.

  • MJ

    Your “personal chocolate chip cookies” do look…..pretty spectacular…

  • AndyinChicago

    Man, Chips Ahoy are gross for all kinds of reasons. They really easily absorb the flavors of anything else around them (Never put them in a bag with mint gum; I know it sounds good, but no), and even when they’re themselves, they taste like cardboard with brown spots. I don’t know if they’re murder worthy, but I agree with your assessment, John: ugh.

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