Georgia man accidentally shoots self in penis

A Georgia man accidentally shot himself in the penis earlier this month, while stopping at a gas station.

Adding to the fun, after the man accidentally shot himself, rather than going to a hospital, he drove to a friend’s house.

At his friend’s place, he took off his pants and realized that he’d shot himself in the penis, and that the bullet exited one of his buttocks, meaning it went through other parts of his body as well.

Humpty Dumpty via Shutterstock.

Humpty Dumpty via Shutterstock.

So he had no idea, at the gas station, that he’d just shot his own penis, and that the bullet went through his groin as well.

And let’s not even go there with what might have happened had his gun gone off while pumping gas.

But hey, at least he knows he’s free.

So instead of heading to the restroom and making sure he was all right, he drove to a friend’s house, all the while not realizing that he was bleeding out multiple parts of his body.

Have you ever known a dumber group of people protected by the Constitution?

And at what point, if any, does someone lose the right to own a gun?

After you shoot yourself in the penis at a gas station?

How about after you shoot your husband at a McDonald’s?

Or when you shoot yourself at a training class to “arm teachers” because, you know, it’s “safer” for teachers to have guns?

Or when you shoot yourself at a gun show?

Though my personal favorite is the guy who was so negligent, he let his dog shoot him. Does he lose his right to own a gun?

It’s easier in America to buy a gun than it is certain French cheeses. And no one ever let loose with some Camembert at a Walmart.


(h/t 13WMAZ)

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36 Responses to “Georgia man accidentally shoots self in penis”

  1. The_Fixer says:

    Or maybe it was the living example of “To a guy who has a hammer, everything is a nail.”

  2. woodroad34 says:

    He was probably hammered and wanted to get nailed. Just off the top of my head.

  3. Badgerite says:

    So much comedic material. So little time.

  4. Thom Allen says:

    Superior natural selection would have been for him to blow off both balls. Then he would not have been able to pass on the gross stupidity gene he carries to his (benighted) offspring.

  5. 5thApe says:

    The NRA’s response. We must arm our penises.

  6. Number Six says:

    If a real man has a “foot”, he don’t need no stinkin’ gun!

  7. The_Fixer says:

    A ball peen hammer? I shudder to think how that happened.

    An acquaintance of mine worked in an E.R. and the only thing that is in that league is what the doctors had to extract out of people’s anuses. It was an amazing assortment of things that were generally cylindrically shaped, sometimes not so.

    If people want something cylindrical in that area of their body, I think some of us here could make a more benign suggestion ;)

  8. 2karmanot says:

    The NRA is a domestic terrorist organization and should be outlawed.

  9. RepubAnon says:

    Isn’t cutting the cheese a violation of the geneva Convention’s ban on gas warfare?

    Seriously, though, how many more negligent discharge of firearm cases do we need before even the NRA decides some reasonable safety measures are required? (Answer: when an improperly-handled gun goes off at an NRA convention, harming an NRA executive… and maybe not even then.)

  10. 2karmanot says:

    Cheeses Christ

  11. woodroad34 says:

    I get what you’re saying. In the emergency room of my hometown hospital, they had a shadowbox of items taken from patients who’ve damaged their penises: zippers, pencils, toy soldiers (the pencils/soldiers were pushed in the urethra), scissors, and (pardon the expression) ball peen hammers. However those items weren’t weapons, per se; they were ordinary things wielded by stupid people. What we’re doing now is allowing more stupid people to wield items of mass destruction and I think that’s what the discussion is about.

  12. Of course, we never hear about the converse, which may only polish the gun.

  13. BillFromDover says:

    Or Pee wee?

  14. BillFromDover says:

    What’s your problem with “Ya can also blame knives?

    Talk about someone requiring comprehensive reading classes!

  15. mike31c says:

    I would like to encourage more self-shootings in the crotch for the RWNJs and gun-nuts of the world.

  16. Dave of the Jungle says:
  17. BeccaM says:

    Depends on how one feels about promoting a healthier human gene pool…

    Now if we could just get them to shoot their dicks off before they breed and pass on their tree-stump stupid to another generation.

  18. BeccaM says:

    Natural selection at work, my friends.

  19. Ninong says:

    He may be missing most of his penis but he has an extra asshole now.

  20. sane37 says:

    You started your post with “You can’t just blame guns.”
    In the English language, this is a defensive statement, urging the reader not to blame guns.

    You were defending guns. Take some English classes.

  21. sane37 says:

    There can only be one!!

  22. pappyvet says:

    Well Fixer the long and the short of it is…..snicker……oh hell never mind. LOL

  23. pappyvet says:


  24. Mike_in_the_Tundra says:

    Since I am anti-gun and pro-cat, I love this story. We lived outside of Baltimore about 20 years ago, and the incident occurred in our neighborhood.

    The man of the house hated the cat belonging to the woman of house. One day when the woman was out, the man seized his chance and the cat. He took the cat down into the basement and got out his gun to shoot the cat in the head. The cat got away, and the guy shot his hand. The police charged him with unlawfully discharging the gun within the city limits. They also charged him with having an unregistered firearm. Doctors had to amputate two of his fingers, and his wife divorced him. I’m certain the feline had a good purr over this.

  25. nicho says:

    Take it easy. Deep breaths. I wasn’t defending guns. I hope your knee didn’t bump you in the chin with that hard jerk.

  26. Indigo says:
  27. The_Fixer says:

    The only thing that will stop a bad penis without a gun is a good guy with a gun (and no penis).

  28. judybrowni says:

    However, tens of thousands die from gun shot wounds just for being in the near vicinity of these yahoos or their penis substitute bang bang toys: knifings are way down the list for causing death and destruction.

    No way that particular idiot’s knife could have jumped out of his waistband to cause death and mutilation, repeatedly, ten feet away, a room away, or in the next building.

    Bullets have a tendency to do that.

  29. Naja pallida says:

    If only this was something unusual, but gun fails are a matter of course in American life. Something like a dozen a day across the country. Though not all are this laughable, most are just sad because they all too often involve someone who was not the guntard himself exercising his freedumb in a Darwinistic manner.

  30. nicho says:

    The story missed the real factoid: Death and Taxes reported in January of 2013 that at least five American men have shot off their penises since 2010.

    Oh, the irony. You get a gun to compensate for the shortcomings (pun intended) in your penile area. Then, you go and shoot off what little you had.

  31. nicho says:

    Or a vasectomy.

  32. Drew2u says:


  33. pappyvet says:

    Well , now he will not have to worry about the embarrassment of attempting to share his shortcomings with anyone. ;]

  34. nicho says:

    You can’t just blame guns. When I was working in the ER, we had a 30-something yahoo come in one day. Let’s just say he had a negative tooth-to-tattoo ratio. He had been playing Rambo and was sticking his hunting knife with a 6-inch blade into the waistband of his pants. Unfortunately (probably because he was not very good with numbers) he didn’t realize that there was only 4 inches of space between the waistband and his “junk.” The result wasn’t pretty. Those of us who worked on him nearly got hernias from trying not to laugh while we were in the treatment room.

  35. Dave of the Jungle says:

    Real men shoot themselves in the foot.

  36. BlueMatt says:

    If you get a circumcision with a gun you’re doing it wrong…

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