Meet Carl DeMaio: Anti-gay gay, newest victim of the war on intolerance

Move over Brendan Eich. The war on intolerance claims another victim: Carl DeMaio, an anti-gay “gay Republican” city council member from San Diego, who is running for Congress, and from himself.

You see, DeMaio can’t seem to figure out why the religious right likes him, and his fellow-gays don’t.

I’d written about Carl DeMaio a week ago.  You see, the gay groups have abandoned him.  Even the Victory Fund, that endorses Republican candidates, won’t touch him.  And DeMaio is hopping mad.

DeMaio even appears to have sicced Log Cabin, a front group for anti-gay Republicans, on us for calling him “Mary” in our earlier editorial.  According to Log Cabin, calling a gay man “Mary” is a “bullying slur.”

log-cabin-carl-demaio

UPDATE: DeMaio supporters invoke “Benghazi”

I have a quick update. DeMaio supporters are now invoking “Benghazi” to defend DeMaio’s anti-gay positions and past:

demaio-benghazi

 

UPDATE: DeMaio Twitter surrogate refusing to confirm DeMaio’s non-use of term “Mary”

Carl DeMaio’s surrogate on Twitter, his life partner Jonathan Hale, is refusing to answer a simple yes or no question as to whether Carl DeMaio has ever used the gay slang term “Mary,” or whether Hale himself has ever used it.

carl-demaio-mary-gay-

 

If the term “Mary” is truly “bullying” and a “pejorative gay slur,” then surely DeMaio and Hale, and the Log Cabin Republicans, will be happy to confirm that they have never used the term before.

“Mary” is not a slur, Mary

Apparently, Lob Cabin isn’t terribly familiar with “the gay lifestyle,” as Carl DeMaio’s friends on the religious right like to call it, if they think calling someone “Mary” is a slur. The only people who ever call gay people “Mary” is other gay people.  And it’s not a slur, it’s actually often a term of ironic endearment (note the title).

But then again, we shouldn’t expect anti-gay gays to actually understand, support or defend a culture that their own political party and candidates have long sought to destroy.

DeMaio’s gay-defender, Log Cabin, supports candidates with a zero voting record on gay civil rights

Keep in mind that Log Cabin supported Mitt Romney for president when Romney refused to endorse any of their basic civil rights.

Romney was against ENDA, against the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, against marriage equality.  Mitt Romney was even for enshrining anti-gay prejudice in the United States Constitution.

Mitt Romney was so anti-gay that he got rid of his campaign’s foreign policy spokesman when word got out that the man was gay.

And after all that, Log Cabin still supported Mitt Romney for president.

So if that’s the best Carl DeMaio has to offer to prove that he’s not really anti-gay — a group that endorses candidates with a “zero out of 100″ record on gay civil rights issues — then it’s no wonder that the entire gay community has abandoned Carl DeMaio.

There’s a reason that anti-gay Christian conservatives like Carl DeMaio

Carl DeMaio

Carl DeMaio

Of course, Carl DeMaio’s gay problem goes far beyond Log Cabin.  DeMaio complains that he’s “found more tolerance, acceptance and inclusion from social conservative groups who have to reconcile that I’m a Republican who happens to be gay… versus the intolerance the LGBT leaders see me as a gay man who happens to be a Republican.” Well, let’s explore why it is that gay-haters love Carl DeMaio, while actual self-respecting, non self-loathing, gay people are less than enthralled.

Maybe, just maybe, Carl DeMaio is embraced by anti-gay religious right leaders because the gay-hating right sees something in DeMaio that we don’t.

Maybe, just maybe, the religious right is supportive of Carl DeMaio for the same reason they’re supportive of any Republican candidate — because they know Carl DeMaio will have an anti-gay voting record if elected to Congress.

And in fact, DeMaio has already said that he has no interest in supporting the civil rights of gays and lesbians in public office.  And I quote DeMaio’s campaign site, which reprinted an article about him in a local paper:

Roll Call reported that the poll specifically mentioned that DeMaio is gay, but would prefer to concentrate on fixing the federal government’s finances instead of on social causes.

DeMaio explains further in another article about his earlier race for mayor, in which DeMaio refused to endorse a statewide measure compelling schools to include the contributions of gay and disabled citizens in textbooks:

[DeMaio] was booed at one mayoral debate after refusing to answer a question from Nathan Fletcher on whether he supported a statewide measure that compels schools to include the contributions of gay and disabled citizens in textbooks and curricula.

“I do not believe the role of the mayor is to advance a social-issue agenda,” DeMaio said at the time.

Well, considering that cities across America have civil rights ordinances, of course it’s the job of the mayor to advance a “social-issue agenda.”  Also note how DeMaio refers to the civil rights of gays and lesbians.  He calls those civil rights a “social-issue agenda.”  Agenda.  As in “gay agenda.”

DeMaio refused to speak out against Prop 8, and gay-baited a fellow candidate for being too pro-gay

Carl DeMaio refused to even speak out against Proposition 8.

But that’s not all. DeMaio’s campaign even gay-baited another pro-gay GOP candidate he was running against only two years ago:

Before the endorsement battle, the DeMaio campaign circulated a 14-page document to members of the Republican central committee questioning Fletcher’s “conservatism.” DeMaio’s campaign manager, Ryan Clumpner also directly took issue with Fletcher’s failing grade by the California Republican Assembly and the Capitol Research Family Institute. Both conservative groups gave Fletcher failing grades for supporting LGBT-related legislation, including his vote in favor of a resolution by the California State Legislature in support of the repeal of the military’s discriminatory “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” policy and his support of Senate Bill 48, the FAIR education act, which mandates that the contributions of the LGBT community be taught in public schools.

Now who’s the anti-gay bully?

DeMaio has gay-baited before, and he’s now gay-baiting again — this time against his own community. He playing the “even gays hate me” card in order to innoculate himself against attacks from the religious right, or other less-than-tolerant GOP voters. So it doesn’t matter if “Mary” isn’t really a slur. DeMaio’s target audience — homophobic Republicans who fear a gay member of Congress would be”too pro-gay” — will believe the charge, and thus believe that DeMaio is one of them, and not a friend of Dorothy or Mary.

If DeMaio isn’t anti-gay, then let him answer these questions

But let’s take Carl DeMaio at his word.  Let’s assume for a moment that maybe Carl DeMaio really isn’t an anti-gay gay, and that Carl DeMaio isn’t deserving of being called “Mary.”  Carl DeMaio can clear all of this up in a nanosecond by issuing a statement answering the following question.

If elected to Congress:

1. Since DeMaio’s friends at Log Cabin raised the topic of bullying, and mention anti-bullying legislation, would Carl DeMaio vote for the Student Non-Discrimination Act, federal legislation regarding the bullying of gay and transgender youth in America’s schools?

2. Would Carl DeMaio vote to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act? (Only section 3 of DOMA was struck down the Supreme Court, other parts of DOMA remain the law of the land.)

3. Would Carl DeMaio vote for the Respect for Marriage Act, a bill to ensure that the federal government respects lawful marriages between same-sex couples?

4. Is Carl DeMaio in favor of gay marriage? [Update: On this one, I finally found a link on DeMaio’s campaign site saying he’s in favor of marriage equality.  And that’s great.  That’s not an indication of how he’d vote in Congress, however, so we still need the specific answers to the questions above and below.]

5. Would Carl DeMaio vote for the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, banning job discrimination against gay and trans people at the federal level?

6. Does Carl DeMaio support gays and trans people being included in federal hate crimes laws?

7. Would Carl DeMaio vote for the Uniting American Families Act (UAFA), that, per HRC, “would amend the Immigration and Nationality Act to provide same-sex partners of U.S. citizens and lawful permanent residents the same immigration benefits that legal, different-sex spouses of U.S. permanent residents enjoy.” In states that do not have marriage equality, UAFA is still needed.

8. If he were in Congress a few years ago, would Carl DeMaio have voted to repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell?

9. Would Carl DeMaio vote to let transgender people serve in the US military?

10. Would Carl DeMaio support the nomination of an openly-gay Supreme Court justice?

11. Would Carl DeMaio support America having a gay president?

DeMaio’s “life partner” (I’m only using quotes because it’s his phrase, and not one I generally use) Jonathan Hale weighed in via Twitter, claiming that DeMaio has a “100 pro-equality voting record.” I asked Hale for proof, and he pointed me to DeMaio’s campaign site “Issues” section.  All I could find there was DeMaio saying he supported marriage equality.  Nothing on whether he’d vote to repeal DOMA, whether he’d vote for ENDA, for the Respect for Marriage Act, for UAFA, how he’ll vote on transgender rights, or any of my other questions.  Literally one generic line about marriage equality is it.

demaio-boyfriend-hale

Perhaps Hale is unable to do my job for me because there are no statements from Carl DeMaio about how he’ll vote in Congress on gay civil rights.

If Carl DeMaio is the second coming of Harvey Milk, as Log Cabin appears to be claiming, then surely DeMaio is willing to answer a few questions about how exactly he plans to vote if elected to Congress.

Otherwise, if Carl DeMaio is so anti-gay that he can’t even stomach answering “yes” to the simple questions posted above, then he deserves to be called a lot worse than “Mary.”


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Follow me on Twitter: @aravosis | @americablog | @americabloggay | Facebook | Google+ | LinkedIn. John Aravosis is the editor of AMERICAblog, which he founded in 2004. He has a joint law degree (JD) and masters in Foreign Service from Georgetown (1989); and worked in the US Senate, World Bank, Children's Defense Fund, and as a stringer for the Economist. Frequent TV pundit: O'Reilly Factor, Hardball, World News Tonight, Nightline & Reliable Sources. Bio, .

Share This Post

  • Jade

    Yeah … I kind of wish John had stood by his original post. He used the term in a mildly, snarky context. He should have owned it.

  • Mike_in_the_Tundra

    Apparently, we like the same type of guy, and I’m sure you’re correct about his abilities in the sack. He probably just lies there and looks “purty.”

  • http://heimaey.us/ heimaey

    He’s too stale and not scruffy enough for me. Sure he’s a stereotypical good looking but looks like a snooze in the sack.

  • Rrhain

    Oh, I see. You don’t have an argument to make so your just going to stroke your own…ego. OK. If that’s what you need. Just make sure you don’t get any on the dress. They have an amazing way of turning up.

  • Lawerence Collins

    And you Rrhain, have proven mine..

  • http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Arel Harry R. Sohl

    He does have the Michelle Bachmann “vacuous and vacant” look down pat! It’s a good thing she looks pretty…

  • http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Arel Harry R. Sohl

    He’s dreamy!

  • Steven

    You wouldn’t hear a black man say that to another black man. Replace the er with a. That’s how we say it.

  • Rrhain

    And thus, you prove my point, too. Yay!

  • Rrhain

    And thus, you prove my point. Yay!

  • Rrhain

    I didn’t say he wasn’t a fool. Even fools can be smart enough not to take bait.

  • Jeremy Adkison

    An Aunt Mary with no place in civil politics. I look forward to his losing and disappearing into private life, exactly where his shame and malcontent belongs.

  • Will Kohler

    I suppose Sullivan, Mehlman, Burroway and Tseie will be signing another letter soon.

  • Lawerence Collins

    Oh Mary, is someone standing on your dress again?

  • 2karmanot

    Bad wig. Cheap pumps.

  • 2karmanot

    Not funny. Move on Mary.

  • 2karmanot

    Thank you.

  • 2karmanot

    Next

  • http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Arel Harry R. Sohl

    I knew someone who worked for Diana Ross. That whole “call me Miss Ross” thing is totally real. It was in his contract, and I have never heard him utter the word “Diana” ever.

    They were total drama queens with each other. I’m sure she fired him at least a dozen times.

  • http://parkandbark.wordpress.com/ Houndentenor

    Thanks for laughing. We laughed a lot. This has brought back some fold memories of my long lost twinkdom. Our favorite parting phrase at the time was “Love your hair! Hope you win!” And we called anyone we didn’t like “Miss One”. I don’t remember where the Love your hair line came from. But the Miss One was from a David Letterman interview with Sandra Bernhardt (who we all adored…Without you I’m nothing had just come out in theaters) in which she was informed that Diana Ross was upset at Bernhardt’s impersonation of her somewhere. Sandra quipped, “Miss One is always upset.”

  • http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Arel Harry R. Sohl

    “Sister Mary Girl-Thang”? I have only two words! Huh Larious!

    I love it! Did you have “Love the way!”

  • http://parkandbark.wordpress.com/ Houndentenor

    Of course they did. The entire GOP is now a bad parody of a political party. It’s no longer even possible to tell what a Republican politician actually said vs. something from a parody site.

  • http://parkandbark.wordpress.com/ Houndentenor

    I heard Mary occasionally. Sister was more common. As were “Girl” and “Miss Thang”. My friends briefly one summer were all calling each other “Sister Mary Girl-Thang” to get them all into one phrase. We thought it was funny anyway. it was hardly offensive.

  • http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Arel Harry R. Sohl

    Regardless, who cares? I have moved on. God help me if I ever have to spend this much time on DeMaio again…

  • http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Arel Harry R. Sohl

    I wonder if I have been locked out because you guys were the last ones to actually edit it?

  • http://parkandbark.wordpress.com/ Houndentenor

    It was going out of style when I was your age. (Judging from your picture I was your age c. 1990.)

  • http://parkandbark.wordpress.com/ Houndentenor

    The homocons are all in a tizzy because gays are not coming to the support of anti-gay gay Republican candidates. But did any of them support Tammy Baldwin or Barney Frank or any of the other Democrats? Of course not. But to them it’s all a big gay plot to force the GOP to be anti-gay. Like we can force Republicans to do anything. If I had such powers I’d use them to stop genocide and world hunger and not mess with their pissant party and it’s fucking fucktard idiots.

  • http://parkandbark.wordpress.com/ Houndentenor

    Yes. And they’re all “straight acting”. Whenever someone describes himself as “straight acting” i know he’s a big flamer who thinks no one can tell he’s gay. LOL

  • http://parkandbark.wordpress.com/ Houndentenor

    Take the high road? He’s a gay person against gay rights. That’s a pretty low road!

  • Moderator3

    Well hon, it works for everyone else. I guess you really ticked off DISQUS.

  • http://parkandbark.wordpress.com/ Houndentenor

    So a guy who isn’t for gay rights even though he’s gay is crying foul over being called “Mary” by another gay person? Really? I’m so sick of the anti-gay gays. Let them all move to Mississippi and the rest of us can move on and get the rights we deserve.

  • http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Arel Harry R. Sohl

    Yep! ;-)

  • Moderator3

    Did you select “save edit” at the end?

  • Polterguest

    Oh, Mary.

  • http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Arel Harry R. Sohl

    Did that three times. Doesn’t stick.

  • http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Arel Harry R. Sohl

    Tried that three times even before your original message. Didn’t work…

  • Butch1

    I remember hearing “a friend of Dorothy’s” used as code.

  • Butch1

    I am from the 60s and it was used frequently. No one really took offense by it and actually laughed it off. When people ignored you was when you knew you weren’t part of any group of friends. Today, people are too offended by these little names. We had fun with them. Nothing was funnier that seeing a big lumbering, lug being called “Mary” by one of his friends in a bar. It was actually quite funny. Today, we have lost our humor.

  • Butch1

    “Joe, seriously?” Why not take the sunglasses off and read the correct name on the blog, Eric. If you can’t get that right how are we supposed to go any further? Sorry.

  • Thom Allen

    Maybe we should make him “Erin” then.

  • http://www.rebeccamorn.com/mind BeccaM

    Put down the drink first, else the shower will ruin it.

    p.s. The proprietor of this blog is named John Aravosis. His name is plastered all over, including in the byline of the post that makes you feel all icky.

  • http://www.rebeccamorn.com/mind BeccaM

    Ouch… you and your sister both have my sympathies.

    For what it’s worth, I have a niece who has similarly poor taste in a lover.

  • John Ruff

    Yes. She was so desparate for a lover (one who had to be considerably younger than herself and feminine) that she settled for an alcoholic, bisexual, Lob Cabin Rethug, former marine, who’s also heavily tatooed. My sister’s a doctor. What a waste of an education. I on the other hand am a community college grad who had no problems finding and marrying an Ivy League educated man who doesn’t smoke, or drink really, and doesn’t sexually assault his in-laws. Guess I married up, and she, well, even worse, she’s living in VA with this loser of a girlfriend.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcrEqIpi6sg Moderator4

    Click on “edit,” delete what you have written, and type in “Deleted.”
    Or type in “*” or whatever you want.
    Then save edit.

  • chrislib

    Is it too late to say, “Stinko DeMaio?”

  • Rrhain

    Because he’s trying to take the high road? Because he doesn’t think you’re worth getting into an argument with?

    Believe me, I’m no DeMaio fan. He’s a tool, plain and simple. But he’s responding absolutely correctly: You used a slur, however mild, and he’s refusing to play your game of gotcha. By harping on it, you’re making yourself look foolish rather than him.

  • Rrhain

    Um, no. “Mary” is a slur. At the very least, context is everything and in the context of your editorial, it was a slur. Yeah, you were making fun of the knots he’s tying himself into, trying to be conservative while gay, but “Mary” in that context is a slur on his sexuality. The point of your message was to say, “Get over yourself.” Was it a big slur? Eh…not really, but don’t pretend that it wasn’t meant poorly. “Ironic endearment”? Yeah, that’s just another phrase for “slur.” And it isn’t “ironic,” either. Irony is not a synonym for snark.

    Your argument is that because a gay person uses a slur, it’s somehow not a slur anymore. You know better.

  • Thom Allen

    In the above photo of DeMaio, the water bottle next to him has an interestingly suggestive shape . . .

  • Hue-Man

    I would agree with your point about minority politicians acting against the interests of their communities but they are typically in positions of privilege and won’t benefit from policies favorable to those communities. For example, Jindal’s right to vote won’t be affected by voter suppression laws but his election results may benefit from suppressing minority votes.

    LGBT rights are much more precarious in the U.S. DeMaio is arguing against his own self-interest when he takes rabidly anti-gay political positions (assuming of course that he has or finds a male partner).

  • chris10858

    I’ts hard to be a Democrat politician. There’s lots of thinking and logic involved regarding the issues. Being Republican is much easier. By default, they just have to be against everything except guns, God and tax cuts.

  • slappymagoo

    You should be able to just delete the text that’s there and replace it with “-deleted-” or “deleted due to selective editing” or “I don’t know how the internet works” or “I like ham” or whatever you want, really.

  • slappymagoo

    To put it delicately, I’ve heard “Mary” used in a non-flattering way to describe someone’s perceived lack of masculinity, but not necessarily a gay man’s perceived lack of masculinity. “Could you flap your wrists around a little less while you’re talking there, Mary?” I’ve also heard other female names used in the same way, mostly “Jennifer.”

  • silas1898

    LOL

  • Eric Hufford

    Joe, seriously ?? Pick your issue. I’ve known Hale for years, I cause him to cross the street. When I had a lapse of judgment for a while I met Demaio. He’s a politician. now I’m known for being the main heckler at the LGBT Center’s Mayor Forum, its me you hear shouting liar in Nathan Fletcher’s video of it. my friend Kurt Cunningham and.Jase Watson and myself ran the now famous Turn Your Back On Demaio that caused Valdemaio to booed the entire length of the Pride Parade in 2012. Probably shouldn’t say this but after the election I got an unexpected thank you from Filner for the win, the win was by the number of votes in district 3 where most of the LGBT community lives. There are plenty of things wrong with both of them, what they say in private about other gay people isn’t one of them. I’ve never used Mary, its old, I’ve said queen or bottom or back when I was young and cool fag about gays that annoyed me. You have to probably. Don’t be hypocritical and now I feel dirty and need a showe

  • http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Arel Harry R. Sohl

    Please! No need to apologize… yea, tho’ I have failed in my quest to entertain every person on the Internet, I shall soldier on.

  • http://www.rebeccamorn.com/mind BeccaM

    Please pardon the presumption, but if that’s how your your sister’s girlfriend behaves, I’d hazard to suggest your sister may have some issues, too.

  • John Ruff

    My sister’s been shacked up in VA with her girlfried, a Lob Cabin Republican, for a couple of years now. The girlfriend is a mess, can’t control her drinking, has had run-ins with the law, and to top it off she bit me in my neck as a sexual advance when she was totally drunk as a guest in my home. Log Cabin Republicans are just straight people who like having gay sex but want the rest of us to suffer because we Gays are all self-obsessed.

  • http://www.rebeccamorn.com/mind BeccaM

    Sorry, but I didn’t find it funny.

  • John Ruff

    Mary ain’t no slur. I used to get all bent out of shape over ‘queer’ but not anymore, and ‘Mary’ just makes me giggle and blush a little.

  • http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Arel Harry R. Sohl

    There is no doubt it is vile. It’s not just you. so, it’s probably sexist too. And funnier than hell.

  • http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Arel Harry R. Sohl

    You gotta take the bad with the good. I am not objecting to you deleting my posts when I am vile. But that’s what makes me funny.

    Just don’t edit what I say – because i didn’t say that. Simply delete the whole thing

  • John Ruff

    No! We need to apply laser-precision focus on all the duplicitous, double-crossing, BS, this little, derisive pr&ck does and display it on a 90″ wide flat-panel TV in every living room in San Diego.

  • http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Arel Harry R. Sohl

    Oh, girl! What are you talkin’ ’bout?

  • http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Arel Harry R. Sohl

    It is not allowing my edit to remove the post.

  • http://www.rebeccamorn.com/mind BeccaM

    I’ve said this before: Membership in an oppressed minority group is never a guarantee of supporting the rights and interests of that group.

    We have women in high elected and appointed positions who use their power to restrict women’s rights and sometimes to oppose the very same laws that made their election or appointment possible in the first place.

    Same thing with people of color. One who comes to mind is Gov. Bobby Jindal — a man who would’ve been declared ‘colored’ in another era and never would’ve been elected governor. Yet he’s totally behind the GOP’s minority vote suppression efforts.

    It’s dismaying, but should not surprise us that there are gay and lesbian politicians who are happy to throw every other LGBT under the bus, if it supports their own selfish self-advancement at the expense of others. It’ll never stop them from claiming the victim’s mantle — “I’m gay, why don’t all you gays support meeeeee?!” — even though he stands against literally everything the LGBT community wants from those we support.

  • http://www.rebeccamorn.com/mind BeccaM

    …and when used in a derogatory fashion as was intended, it also comes across as rather sexist. But that might just be me.

  • http://www.rebeccamorn.com/mind BeccaM

    I’m actually a little bit embarrassed for them at this point.

    But only a little. As the old saying goes, never interrupt an opponent when they’re making a fool of themselves.

  • dcinsider

    He hates being called Mary.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcrEqIpi6sg Moderator4

    And, to add to John’s comment, Disqus allows you to edit and/or delete your own comment/comments.
    You do not need us to do this for you.

  • dcinsider

    OMG that is so true.

  • http://AMERICAblog.com/ John Aravosis

    Talking about fingering one’s “clit” is not dissent. It’s rude. And I suspect you know that. I don’t need to set out rules details which obscene sexual references are permissible. I’m sorry, but you’re playing games. Just quit the obscenities.

  • http://AMERICAblog.com/ John Aravosis

    Anomaly is a synonym for closet case :)

  • http://AMERICAblog.com/ John Aravosis

    I’d think any straight person was totally gay who used that term!

  • http://AMERICAblog.com/ John Aravosis

    If “Mary” is such an anti-gay slur, then why won’t @carldemaio’s Twitter surrogate confirm that Carl DeMaio has never used the term himself?

    http://americablog.com/2014/05/will-gops-carl-demaio-confirm-hes-never-used-pejorative-gay-slur-mary.html

  • http://heimaey.us/ heimaey

    When in doubt Benghazi.

  • Sam_Handwich

    How can i put this delicately?

    Every gay republican i’ve met is a screaming sissy who has absolutely no clue that’s how they’re perceived. “We musssst have fisssscal ressssssponsibilty and a sssstrong defenssssssse!”

  • Monophylos Fortikos

    I see the point. But, dammit, it’s so obvious that he’s just trying to piss the GLBT community off and then point: “See, look how they intolerant they are!” It’s a sad truth of our society that there’s always gonna be a niche for people like him, just like there’s always gonna be a niche for the creationist “scientist”. I just hate the idea of helping the game out.

  • http://heimaey.us/ heimaey

    That’s rare and if a straight guy knows the term Mary it’s an anomaly.

  • http://heimaey.us/ heimaey

    Get over it Mary. You know that talk is for reddit!

  • http://heimaey.us/ heimaey

    One thing I have witnessed is there are really hardly ever any good looking Republicans. And the only gay one that’s good looking (although not my type) is Ms. Aaron Schlock. That Mary stands out like pink dildo in a sea of greasy grimy ones.

  • Ninja0980

    Maybe he should talk to Christine Quinn

  • http://www.rebeccamorn.com/mind BeccaM

    I ran into it fairly often in the SF Bay area scene in the late 90s, where within the community ‘Mary’ was sometimes used to describe gay men who usually also had some effeminate mannerisms, but who nevertheless were warm, kind, and just generally nice to everybody.

    My friends in the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence included quite a few Marys.

  • Kevin

    I have heard a straight person (older like maybe 70’s) years ago attempt to call someone a “Limp Wristed Mary” and just laughing. Even in the most angry and hurtful way it can be said… it fails to produces the gravitas of faggot…

    Then again gay people have never been good with MEAN words. I mean we call straight people Breeders… not exactly the worst sounding term.

  • http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Arel Harry R. Sohl

    Then I would respectfully ask you delete my entire post rather than edit my comments in the future (and even now) if my level of “dissent” crosses some line.

  • Kevin

    I feel shame and so stupid ;( … though I have heard both, I have never had it directed at me. When I lived in St. Louis I typically only heard much much worse terms directed at me.

  • http://AMERICAblog.com/ John Aravosis

    Can’t ignore him as he’s supposedly a serious challenger.

  • http://AMERICAblog.com/ John Aravosis

    Because the comment was offensive, not because you documented the accusation in question.

  • bkmn

    DeMaio is the poster child of why you don’t vote single issue, in this case Vote for a Gay!

  • http://AMERICAblog.com/ John Aravosis

    Seriously. When has a straight person ever used the word “Mary” at all for gay people, let alone as a slur?

    Look, DeMaio has gay-baited before and he’s now gay-baiting his own community. He playing the “even gays hate me” card in order to innoculate himself against attacks from the religious right. So it doesn’t matter if “Mary” isn’t really a slur. His target audience – homophobic Republicans who fear a gay member of Congress would be too pro-gay – will believe the charge, and thus believe that DeMaio is one of them.

  • 2karmanot

    Mary, Mary, quite contrary.

  • http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Arel Harry R. Sohl

    It’s generally more along the lines of “Oh, Mary, climb down off that cross – we need the wood!” It’s the precursor to “Oh, Girl!”

    You go, Mary!

  • http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Arel Harry R. Sohl

    Interestingly, this post was edited with my consent nor even knowledge and a link to a article where a ex-council member confirms that DeMaio was caught
    masterbating
    in the “councilmen-only” bathroom was removed.

  • http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Arel Harry R. Sohl

    She is “power-hungry”. In a bottom, that’s great! In a politician? …

  • Elijah Shalis

    I have heard of asking someone if they are a friend of Dorothy but not Mary

  • Kevin

    Mary is an endearing way to call someone gay. Used almost only by Male Gay people.

    If you were cruising *I am so glad we are leaving those days* you might ask, “Are you a friend of Mary’s?” to find out if someone was gay, while lowering the risk they are not and they harm you. It was code… it is still used, and it is a silly but endearing term. Unlike calling someone Limp Wristed, Fag. or a Poof… however it CAN be used negatively as can any word.

  • http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Arel Harry R. Sohl

    Aggressive = Good = twerking in a jock strap
    Pushy = Bad = fingering yer clit until it zings in front of a straight business associate because fucking over little people is your personal clitorite.

  • Kevin

    A power bottom is a lazy tops best friend ;P

  • Monophylos Fortikos

    So power bottom != pushy bottom? Good to know. I’m learning something every day! ;)

  • Kevin

    In the most positive way… that was the gayest comment I have heard so far this month. You made my day! Thought I thought it was it’s good the be an aggressive bottom, just not a passive aggressive one ;P

  • Monophylos Fortikos

    Ugh. Could we just ignore this little drama queen? This is obviously the game he’s chosen to play and I don’t like the idea of playing along with it.

  • Elijah Shalis

    Okay I might be too young but I have never heard a gay guy called Mary. Please enlighten me on the older gay generation’s terms lol

  • http://AMERICAblog.com/ John Aravosis

    OMG, his supporters just went all Benghazi!

  • Indigo

    Interesting photo of him . . . is he listening to Prozac?

  • http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Arel Harry R. Sohl

    She is fierce!

    Really, she’s just as oily in real life as that picture suggests. That oil makes a great lube when you vote against poor people and it makes you so excited that you just gotta go jack a load right away!

    Note to DeMaio: everyone loves an aggressive bottom. A pushy one – not so much.

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