So I got trapped in the bathroom by my nephew’s demon-cat

So, my nephew’s demon-cat trapped me in the bathroom Sunday night for nearly half an hour.

It’s been a fun 24 hours at the Aravosis zoo.

It all started with me visiting mom for Easter, and she’s taking care of my nephew’s cat for the next month.

Demon Cat

Famous mom quotes: “I know you’re allergic to cats. I’ve had her litter box and her cage in your bedroom for a few weeks, it won’t bother your asthma having her here will it?

Ah, mothers.

The thing is, my cat allergies aren’t too bad, and they’ve gotten better as I’ve been getting allergy shots for over five years now. So, other than the wisdom of putting the litter box in my bedroom, I decided to be down with the cat.

Sadly, the cat did not decide to be down with me.

It started with the cat, nicknamed KC, aka Khaleesi (oh yes, the cat is named Khaleesi), hissing at me throughout our first encounter. Now, I know cats sufficiently well to leave well enough alone when they hiss at you. So I left her alone. About an hour later, I’m trying to go up the stairs and KC decides it’s very important to get in front of me on the steps and stretch out, blocking my way, while hissing.

I did manage to finally get by without losing a leg, only to have KC follow me, pass me, and then get between me and my ten pound Yorkie-Bichon Sasha, who conveniently bouncing out of the bedroom, and was beside herself to encounter a cat. Sasha, god bless her, LOVES cats. The bad news is that Sasha’s really only known one cat in her short four years, our neighbor’s case, and that cat pretty much likes dogs. As for KC, not so much.

Sasha was wagging wildly, slowly approaching  mother-of-dragons while KC hissed at her, mouth open, teeth-bared, tail wagging. Sasha wasn’t taking the hint, and kept coming forward, tail ever more excited (remember, in dog-land, a tail wagging is a good thing, in cat-land it means death is imminent – yours, not its).  I yelled at Sasha to stay. She finally figured out something was wrong, and then began to get increasingly upset, backing up slowly, trying to look around the cat to see if there was anyway to get by demon-cat, while giving the most pitiful whine that in Sasha-speak means “Daaaad, I caaaan’t get by!”

Fast forward a few hours, when I encounter KC in my dad’s office. The cat’s been following me around, and I suspect she does really want to get to know me, so I stop, the cat comes up, rubs against my leg and then hisses at me. Hmm, still somewhat disconcerting. So I lower my hand carefully, the cat nuzzled my hand with her muzzle, and then gives me a massive hiss while still nuzzling my hand.

Hmm, this still doesn’t seem to be going well. So I walk away.

Fast forward to 4am. I get up to go the bathroom, come back, and who’s come up to the stop of the stairs to hiss at me? Yep, the blond devil. I manage to make my way into the bedroom, and then we come to the next evening, around 1130pm, when I go to the bathroom to brush my teeth and get ready for bed.

Trapped by Demon-Cat

KC decided to come to the bathroom and plop herself down in front of the door while I flossed and brushed my teeth Sunday night.

crazy-cat-featured

I thought it was a bit strange, but figured maybe KC was finally finally warming up to me. Then her mood started to change, including her tail moving, a lot in that flicky way cats do before pouncing. Oh yeah, and she started hissing.

And whoever on Facebook suggested trying to stare the cat down – yeah, not so much.

demon-cat

Every time I moved towards the door she’d hiss again, yet not move away. I texted my nephew: “Still hissing and still stalking me. I go into bathroom, cat came out of hiding to block me and hiss.”

Oh, let me just share the texts, shall we?

cat-1

cat-2

At this point, I send Anthony a video of her hissing all the more as I approach her.

Anthony says she won’t attack, so I take a video and go for it – Anthony lost that bet.

cat3

In the meantime, the cat is doing this upside down stretchy thing that, as far as I know, constitutes flirting for cats.  Yeah, flirting with a hiss.

cat-lolling-in-doorway

 

cat-4

 

cat-5

Yes, the cat fell asleep on guard duty:

cat-sleeping

cat-6

 

cat-7Yes, dragon-cat was about to get a dose of saline solution when the pipes gurgled, and apparently noisy water pipes are a lot scarier than I.

 

In the meantime, where was my little watchdog doing while her daddy was being accosted by demon-cat? Waiting for Game of Thrones.

sasha-sleeping-2


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Follow me on Twitter: @aravosis | @americablog | @americabloggay | Facebook | Google+ | LinkedIn. John Aravosis is the editor of AMERICAblog, which he founded in 2004. He has a joint law degree (JD) and masters in Foreign Service from Georgetown (1989); and worked in the US Senate, World Bank, Children's Defense Fund, and as a stringer for the Economist. Frequent TV pundit: O'Reilly Factor, Hardball, World News Tonight, Nightline & Reliable Sources. Bio, .

Share This Post

  • sophie

    I hope you are not the criminal who hanged cats from trees in New York, right? Right.

  • sophie

    A little late to this, but I have six cats. That is what you want to do, exactly. Distract, and play, and hopefully you will bond with him/her. Generally, cats do not like people they don’t know very well.
    I adopted a six week old Siamese a few years ago, who was literally tossed into our back field, bottle fed him, and all that. He had aggressive behavior issues with some of the other cats, and would get into attack mode with my kids. I told him “No!” and actually hissed at him a few times, which really got his attention. He never tried to chew on anyone again.
    Also, if a cat does not know you, you must earn their trust. The love and affection we have received from our “cat family” has been profound, and ongoing.

  • RepubAnon

    Are you sure that isn’t Sparta the Cat?

  • pappyvet

    LOL You are wonderful my friend.

  • HelenRainier

    This is funny — in one of those ways that I can relate to it, I can picture it, and I can’t help but laugh — we’ve all been there at one time or another.

  • ElaineMay

    Sort of? If you want to be able to move out of the room, you have to, unfortunately, show the cat who’s boss. A large towel will do that. Put it around the cat, pick it up, move it to where you want it to be, stand back and let it go. It will get the message.
    And yes, I am a cat lover. Have 4 of my own and board the odd (and I do mean some of them are odd) cat.
    Some cats are curazzy.
    This is one of them.

  • SkippyFlipjack

    This might be my absolute favorite post in 14 years of reading this blog. Fantastic.

    FYI like milli2 says below, in cat-speak slow deliberate blinks mean you’re trying to make friends. Staring means you’re not. Not that it will help in this case, it’ll just seem like you have Stockholm Syndrome.

  • http://www.rebeccamorn.com/mind BeccaM

    Whether it’s dogs or cats, step 1 is determining who is dominant in the relationship. Khaleesi has decided she wants to be top cat.

    It’s easy when you’re dealing with a cat or dog who is used to the submissive kitten or puppy relationship. They assume you’re in charge and are uncomfortable only if you diverge from the role of alpha dog or cat. It’s harder when you’re dealing with a pet who thinks they’re in charge or who wants to challenge the authority of the newcomer.

    You can either submit to her and let her decide where and when to ‘like’ you — but if you do, she will never respect you. Or you can establish your dominant position, at which point, if she’s the kind of cat who makes friends, she’ll do so.

  • http://www.rebeccamorn.com/mind BeccaM

    The constantly putting herself in front of you, and then hissing when you try to get by, is classic behavior.

  • http://AMERICAblog.com/ John Aravosis

    That’s the thing, I’d like to win her over rather than just scaring her. I’ve tried food, but she won’t eat anything I give her.

  • http://AMERICAblog.com/ John Aravosis

    Oh that is interesting. Ok, then the saline bottle it is.

  • http://AMERICAblog.com/ John Aravosis

    The thing is, I’m happy to brutalize the thing psychologically, but the goal was to get the thing to like me, and I was sure that throwing things at it, and spraying water on it, was the best way to do that. Were this any other cat, it would be dead by now, at least metaphorically :)

  • http://40yrs.blogspot.com Matthew Saroff

    As a cat lover, I am laughing, and I am not laughing with you, I am laughing at you.

    BTW, I have been terrorized by a cat, but it is a caught feral, and I have lost a lot of blood to it.

    I agree with Becca: This cat wants to make you it’s bitch, and it is succeeding.

    Lol

  • guest23

    I recommend playing with her (a string will do..I would use a long one in this case). This will give her something to re-focus her attention away from attacking you….and would build a positive association with you (vs. using a water bottle which would build a negative association with you). Shake/dangle/whip the string along the ground as you make your way back to your room.

  • January2009

    I think after about 10 minutes, I’d have tried dumping water on the foul, despicable creature. Unfortunately your mother’s bathroom doesn’t have a stove top on which to boil it first.

  • January2009

    They are evil. Spawn of Satan.

  • http://www.rebeccamorn.com/mind BeccaM

    I’m a dog-gal, but I’ve been around enough cats (and have had to host roommate’s cats, despite my own rather severe allergies to cat dander, which for me is a migraine trigger as well as a source of histaminic misery) to recognize aggressive dominance behavior.

    In short, John, Khaleesi is trying to make you her bitch. So to speak. She keeps putting herself in front of you so that you react with fear and withdrawal. Eventually she might accept you, but only on her terms and with frequent reminders that she is the dominant cat in the household.

    Get and use that spray bottle, otherwise there’s a good likelihood her next moves will be to start peeing on your luggage and clothing, as well as terrorizing Sasha.

  • 2karmanot

    Is that cat for hire? I’ve got a little list.

  • http://AMERICAblog.com/ John Aravosis

    Again, the thing was, I didn’t want to throw anything at her, or jump at her, as I was still trying to convince the at that I’m ok. I was afraid scaring her off would only add to the problem later on.

  • http://AMERICAblog.com/ John Aravosis

    Not sure if you can. You can, however, upload it to YouTube and then simply put the youtube link here.

  • http://AMERICAblog.com/ John Aravosis

    Yes, my parents bought this house in the early 70s, and I think it’s from the 1940s. The tile in both baths is fun

  • http://AMERICAblog.com/ John Aravosis

    There is an allure to them, when they’re not cornering you in the bathroom.

  • emjayay

    And brought an enemy species along besides.

    I don’t know if it would be counterproductive or not and I probably wouldn’t care either, but I wouldn’t put up with any of it. Your reign is over, kitty. Get used to it.

    Nice bathroom floor tile though.

  • pattyp

    That’s hysterical.

  • jomicur

    Cat allergies: I was allergic to cats for most of my life–not badly, but badly enough to keep me from becoming a cat owner. Sniffling, eyes itching, that kind of thing. Then about twenty five years ago I fell in love with a stray in my neighborhood, a black longhaired male who had been living in the street for weeks. He liked me too–kept hanging around my place, trying to get my attention (and affection) whenever I went out the door. So I finally decided to adopt him, allergies or no allergies. I named him Randy, and he took to living with me right away. (He must have originally been somebody else’s pet, since he was already fixed.) I got the allergy shot, and the doctor assured me I’d need boosters every 6-12 months. But I didn’t. The allergies cleared up and never came back. My doctor keeps insisting I’ll need more shots eventually, but I never have. I adopted a little “brother” for Randy, named him Kevin, and we lived together more happily than I’d ever imagined; they both lived to be twenty. Now I’m on my second pair of cats, two deaf back girls named Mandy and Melanie. Even if my allergies hadn’t gone away, I’m so happy to have cats in my life.

  • Thom Allen

    If you had just put the seat down, she would have let you out of the bathroom.

  • http://musephotos.wordpress.com/ GarySFBCN

    This is why I will never have a cat.

  • anthonymeans

    that cat wanted to make love with you dude.

  • keirmeister

    Ok. I watched the video. I would be willing to bet a sudden, loud, aggressive motion toward her would have scared her off. I think KC didn’t like you because you invaded her claimed territory (which was probably the whole house at that point).

  • Drew2u

    I have a cute cat video I shot last week. How do I upload it on disqus?

  • keirmeister

    I usually violently meow and hiss back. You do a loud, deep MEEEOWWWW HISSSSSS!!!! and cats run away like you’re a Balrog. Cats respond well to crazy. ;)

  • annatopia

    HAHAHAhhahahahahahaha!!!!

  • Mike_in_the_Tundra

    Cats really love that. That cat is sort of schizo.

  • TheOriginalLiz

    That cat is obviously a republican

  • ElaineMay

    Throw a towel over the cat. It’ll keep her occupied.

  • milli2

    Hilarious John. And no, you never stare down a cat – that’s a sign of aggression. You have to look in the cat’s direction while blinking slowly a lot, that shows you like her. That being said, I don’t know if that will work with this particular cat – she seems a bit off her meds.

  • Mike_in_the_Tundra

    At least Sasha has good priorities.

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