Cliven Bundy thinks God hates toll booths

Cliven Bundy thinks he’s on a mission from God.

Seriously.

If you don’t know who Cliven Bundy is, John and I have written several posts about Nevada’s infamous resource-stealing subsidy-mooching now-former GOP/Wingnut media darling, Cliven Bundy.

If you want the background, it’s here.

Then came the day last week when Mr. Bundy said he had something he needed to tell us about The Negro.

You see, as Bundy tells it, the problem with African-Americans it that they’ve forgotten how to pick cotton, and in the end, they’d all be better off as slaves, rather than living in government-subsidized housing.

Cliven Bundy and a dead calf he says starved to death because of America

Cliven Bundy and a dead calf he says starved to death because of America

There was also something about black women sending their sons to jail and having abortions, lots of them.

John wrote about all of this here and here. If you need a laugh, those are the go-to posts.

When Bundy isn’t opening interviews by holding up a dead calf, he’s excoriating Dr. Martin Luther King Jr’s ghost for failing to make it so racists could say racist things without anybody being offended… well, according to Cliven Bundy, God himself speaks to him.

Crazy attracts crazy

I kind of knew all along we were dealing with a special kind of crazy out there in Bunkerville. But according to Caty Enders of Esquire, we’re only seeing a tiny fraction of the batsh*t insanity in that northeast corner of Nevada.

In a story posted in Esquire on Friday, Ms. Enders lets us in on the Tea Bagger Wingnut rodeo / conspiracy theory circle-jerk, including:

  • An ‘Oath Keeper‘ named Mark who says the Bureau of Land Management, which is a subdivision of the Department of the Interior, a cabinet-level position in our government, actually works for the United Nations. “They might as well be wearing blue helmets,” he says.
  • A self-trained “lawyer” who agrees with the previous and says that any attorney who is Bar-certified has actually sworn allegiance to Great Britain, whose laws encourage Bar attorneys to have sex with clients.
  • News that Bundy and his supporters believe the entire reason for the BLM actions recently wasn’t them deciding after 20 years they’d had enough of Bundy’s refusal to pay his grazing fees and court-assigned penalties, and his wanton destruction of ecologically sensitive desert by grazing too many cattle. No, the real reason is because Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and his brother Troy want to build a solar energy facility and/or wind farm on the land, supposedly involving the Chinese government. (Wow…)
  • At least one old dude drives around in a car plastered with signs warning that anybody born after 1980 has been implanted with government microchips, and advises people to Google ‘MKUltra.’ On the other hand, another supporter says what’s wrong with today’s kids is the Internet itself. I guess these two didn’t meet up.

But it’s Cliven Bundy who’s the star of the show

And it’s clear he knows it.

What isn’t clear is whether Mr. Bundy is actually sane.

I’m not kidding or exaggerating.

god-hates-tollsThe crowd, fresh off their victory at the Battle of Bunkerville, gives Bundy a standing ovation. But he doesn’t seem pleased. (Bundy) reproaches the crowd for failing to follow the word of God – to the letter – which he says is being delivered through him. They failed, for example, to follow his instructions to tear down the toll booths at Lake Mead and disarm the Park Service.

This isn’t gonna end well…

Mr. Bundy remonstrated his supporters, saying, “The message I gave to you all was a revelation that I received. And yet not one of you can seem to even quote it.”

Ho-lee-cripes. He really means it.

He’s not just Cliven Bundy, patriot rancher standing up to those gol-darned gub’mint Revenuers and Chinese solar-farm companies!

Cliven Bundy is on a mission from God!

In case you were wondering, there are day-use fee stations near the Lake Mead National Recreation Area. Five days of access for a normal visitor is $5. A year-long pass costs $30 — but only $10 if you’re a senior and it’s free if you’re active military.

Cliven Bundy wants these stations to be destroyed and the National Parks Service employees taken into custody.

Cliven Bundy's God is displeased Bundy's followers didn't destroy this Lake Mead day-use fee station

Cliven Bundy’s God is displeased Bundy’s followers didn’t destroy this Lake Mead day-use fee station within a 1-hour deadline (photo: 1willwander)

Cliven continues, sermon-like: “The records of our bible — how long have they been kept? Thousands of years. They’ve been turned over generation after generation, buried, and all kinds of things happen to ‘em. And yet, here, something I felt was inspired [by God] and yet we haven’t even carried it forth for even a couple of days. Shame on us.”

How dare that Parks Service fee station remain un-smited! T’is an abomination!

According to Esquire’s journalist, Ms. Enders, there was a “smattering of clapping” at this new harangue and finger-wagging from Mr. Bundy. Perhaps because some of the attendees had some wee inkling they were listening to a man whose cheese was no longer firmly centered on its cracker? And hadn’t been for some time?

Maybe that was why they didn’t run off to destroy the NPS fee stations in the first place?

Bundy went on to say that while the BLM had been temporarily thwarted, he wasn’t pleased because his supporters (acolytes?) had failed to head out and destroy those toll booths / fee stations at Lake Mead within the one hour deadline given to him personally by God several days back. And to disarm any National Parks Service employees present, of course.

According to the Esquire article, a few days before when Bundy’s supporters had declined to obey his order to go on a fee station rampage, after the initial one hour deadline had expired, he’d climbed onto his own bulldozer to go do it himself.

However, the ‘dozer soon got stuck in the mud. (Satan’s mud! Must’ve been!) At which point, in this later speech, Bundy recounted another revelation from God.

“It come to my mind real plain — the good Lord said, ‘Bundy, it’s not your job, it’s THEIR job.’ So we come back over here and heard that they had brought some cattle back. So I want you to understand,” addressing the crowd, “This is not my job, it’s YOUR job.

“This morning, I said a prayer, and this is what I received. I heard a voice say, ‘Sheriff Gillespie, your work is not done. Every sheriff across the United States, take the guns away from the United States bureaucrats.’”

I didn’t know the 2nd Amendment, which these folks are so fond of, didn’t apply to government employees.

But seriously though…

The other day, I mentioned how one of my fears was Bundy and his people wanted to spark another Waco or Ruby Ridge incident, hence the talk from Oath Keeper Richard Mack about making sure the Feds killed a bunch of unarmed women and children first.

Now though, I worry whether Bundy, Mack, and the rest of them are working themselves up to the point where someone gets inspired to go blow up a Federal building.

Oklahoma City - Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building - the site of America's worst right-wing domestic terrorist attack

Oklahoma City – Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building – the site of America’s worst right-wing domestic terrorist attack, April 1995 (photo: Wikipedia)


Published professional writer and poet, Becca had a three decade career in technical writing and consulting before selling off most of her possessions in 2006 to go live at an ashram in India for 3 years. She loves literature (especially science fiction), technology and science, progressive politics, cool electronic gadgets, and perfecting Hatch green chile recipes. Fortunately for this last, Becca and her wife currently live in New Mexico. @BeccaMorn

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  • nvrbl

    You are as crazy as Bundy

  • MelissaNY

    The Bible is a fairy tale and if you think the BLM has no plans for that land you’re living in one too. This is not about fees its not about turtles its about who is getting their pockets filled. That’s like saying Barrack Gold didn’t get a 10 Billion dollar gold mine in Nevada for 10 thousand dollars. There can’t possibly be a back door deal involving that land. Just like the BLM couldn’t possibly say about property along the OK. TX. border,
    “The BLM claims that it is simply creating a “resource management plan”
    while engaged in a broader, multi-state “review” of the lands it claims
    to own. It is also working to help determine the boundary between
    supposed “federal” land and private property. “What we are trying to
    do,” the BLM “public affairs specialist” claimed, “is to determine how
    and whether these lands can be managed for the benefit of the American
    people.”

  • BillFromDover

    “This is the GOP.” on steroids!

  • BillFromDover

    Today, it’s a shitload of dollars.

  • Henry Owen

    Good point, but even a clown car can only be so full…

  • Swami_Binkinanda

    ON the contrary, he needs to be given the widest media platforms available and full time press priority. He is a national treasure. What is he saying in plain language that Paul Ryan or Ted Cruz aren’t obscuring with over-prettified oration? This is the GOP.

  • BillFromDover

    “I could go on, but I’ll spare you”

    The tire?

  • BillFromDover

    There ain’t no crazy like the Bible crazy!

    Why this book is still allowed to be published is… well, never mind.

  • Henry Owen

    This year’s Joe The Plumber needs to learn how to close his pie hole.

  • Buford

    He’s an idiot who deserves all the ridicule and mockery he receives… and even the mockery that happens when he isn’t around.

  • http://www.rebeccamorn.com/mind BeccaM

    A woman who considers it sporting to hunt wolves from a helicopter? I think we knew for a while now that she’s a truly vile and rather sociopathic person.

  • MyrddinWilt

    I think the feds know what they are doing here.

    They have handed the guy a shovel and he is burying himself and the NRA together.

    In other news, who knew Sarah Palin was the reincarnation of Prince Joffrey-the-jerk?

  • ne2indy

    The derangement of this man almost leaves one breathless. He is in serious need of a mental evaluation.

  • http://AMERICAblog.com/ John Aravosis

    I couldn’t resist.

  • The_Fixer

    Oh, I think we’ll hear more of him yet. The Feds have yet to resolve this. Either there’s going to be a showdown of sorts after some of this dust has settled, or there will be a “settlement” that has Bundy paying a portion of what the Feds want. Bundy’s attitude makes me think that a settlement is less likely, unless someone talks some sense into him.

    Whatever happens, it will attract the attention of the media for a short time, then we’ll go back to hearing about Russia or perhaps some other made-up “scandal” that will be pushed by the wing-nuts (like Benghazi, et al).

    Regardless, he has invoked religion, which means that he is guaranteed a place on the church speaking tour. He’ll lie and martyr up to that snake-handling crowd. But he will likely be invisible as far as the mainstream media is concerned.

    The religious nuts and the militiamen can have him. Anyone with any sense has figured out that the guy is not worth the attention.

  • Indigo

    I’m with that one, he is a mainstream Republican.

  • Indigo

    Yes indeed, and I’ve got one!

  • http://www.americablog.com/ Naja pallida

    I think I’m gonna go with “A few fries short of a Happy Meal.”

  • http://www.rebeccamorn.com/mind BeccaM

    Aye… joking side, what I’m seeing is an old guy who, after a lifetime of nobody listening to him on much of anything, suddenly has all the attention in the world. At first he thinks it’s enough authority to make the crazy suggestions he’s been making for a while, but people just say, “yeah!” — but don’t actually do anything. So then he borrows the authority of the Almighty and says it’s not him, but God speaking through him — and people pay even less attention.

    He mistakes the attention and notoriety he’s been getting as permission to say anything, suggest anything, so he tells people what he really thinks about everything, including the stuff that probably draws embarrassed silences at family holiday dinners.

    And like I said up in the post, there he is on his little homestead, breaking the law as he has been for decades — and the result of the attention isn’t lasting fame, but he becomes like a beacon for all the crazies for hundreds of miles in all directions. Soon, the ‘singularity of crazy-stupid’ begins to form…

    I guess what remains to be seen is whether or not this nonsense fades away, as it’s likely to do without Fox flogging it on, or if Bundy and the crazier of his supporters try to provoke some bloody incident.

  • http://www.rebeccamorn.com/mind BeccaM

    Perfect!

  • The_Fixer

    “Perhaps because some of the attendees had some wee inkling they were
    listening to a man whose cheese was no longer firmly centered on its
    cracker?”

    I like that one! I got a few more. First, we can continue with the food theme:

    His dip is nowhere near his chip. His cereal bowl is missing it’s milk. His sandwich is missing a slice of bread. His apple is missing its core. He’s got a plate, but he’s missing his entree.

    Then there’s the car-themed ones. His cousin said that “he’s not running on all four cylinders”. Or you could say that he’s got two flat tires, his pistons are not quite connected to the crankshaft, the body’s there, but the frame is gone. There’s fuel in the tank, but the motor’s not running.

    I could go on, but I’ll spare you. But the saddest thing about this is not only is Bundy riding the range with no horse, it’s that so many people don’t recognize that. Sorry, had to slip one more in there.

    Yes, we’ve been getting dangerously close to the lunatics running the asylum in some parts of this country. I will be happy when his 15 minutes are up. When it is, his family has to get him some professional help.

  • slappymagoo

    And they seem to reproduce immaculately.

  • slappymagoo

    Didn’t Manson also tell HIS followers there were things THEY were supposed to do that HE was not?

  • silas1898

    God must love toll booths. He made so many of them!!
    This is great stuff. Fox and friends are stuck with this nutcase.

  • ComradeRutherford

    What Fox ‘News’ is trying to hide is that Cliven Bundy is your average, everyday, Conservative Republican voter. He is a Mainstream Republican.

  • ComradeRutherford

    Someone’s gotta go back to camp and get a shitload of dimes!!!

  • Badgerite

    FOFL!

  • rikitikitavi

    I enjoyed that thank you!

  • gratuitous

    That occurred to me. I think Mr. Bundy is not playing with all 52 cards, which makes it all the sadder to see his army of the unemployed out there, waiting to figure out what to do with all this time on their hands, loaded weapons, and a generally pissed-off nature.

    While those people are sad, the people at Fox are just plain evil. They’re safely out of the free fire zone, slowly turning up the heat on this pressure cooker. Then they get to report from the site of the inevitable carnage, make their frowniest, sorriest faces, and regretfully blame Obama and the libruls for all the death and destruction.

  • cole3244

    keep talking fool maybe the people that vote for the likes of you will wake up eventually although i won’t hold my breath.

  • bud

    “Joe the Plumber” is my neighbor and I’m annoyed that some people make fun of him. His name pops up occasionally in the local news and it’s so sad. The guy really seems to have a good heart, but not brain. So I don’t know who is worse, the Teabaggers who take advantage of him or the people who make fun of him.
    By the way, he’s now a happy member of the U.A.W. working at the Toledo Jeep plant.

  • emjayay

    The $10 fee for seniors like Bundy isn’t for a year. It is a rest-of-your-life pass to all national parks and national forests and BLM sites. And includes everyone in your car.

  • DeeLo
  • 2patricius2

    I think he’s right about the toll booths. Why, just the other day as I approached a toll booth in Kansas, God appeared to me and said (in the voice of Ronald Reagan, strangely): “Tear down this booth!”

  • bkmn

    As previously mentioned Bundy is too stupid to know how stupid (or crazy for that matter) he is.

    And anyone who is a follower of this guy is missing a few of their marbles too.

  • Monophylos Fortikos

    I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: I think it’s almost hilarious that when the media casts about for right-wing populist heroes who supposedly exemplify the principled mistrust of “big government” that motivates the Tea Party, all they ever dredge up are unbalanced, loud-mouthed bigots like Cliven Bundy here. “Joe the Plumber” comes to mind as another fine example of Tea Party humanity who was given his fifteen minutes.

  • http://buddybest.tripod.com/index.html BuddyNovinski

    Maybe Ronald Reagan, the god of senility, was speaking to him!

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