Putin spokesman compares being gay to having sex with a table

In one of the best Daily Show segments ever, Jason Jones does an amazing report on gays in Russia.

Specifically, Jones talks to one of Russian President Vladimir Putin’s allies, and spokesmen, Sergei Markov, who compares gays to having sex with a table (which apparently, Markov says, you have the freedom to do in Russia).

Then Markov tells Jones to go ahead, have sex with the table right now.  Jones demurs.

sex-with-table

I’ve never felt very strongly about Jason Jones either way.  Samantha Bee has always been my favorite, along with Aasif Mandvi. But my god, Jones was simply amazing in this segment.  Funny, ironic, and when necessary, downright vicious. All I can say is: Thank you.

Here’s a bit of Jones’ interview with Markov.

Jason Jones: Let’s talk about gay rights, or as you call them in Russia, whatever the oppose of that is.

Putin spokesman Sergei Markov: I am tired of this issue.

Jason Jones: You’re tired of talking about gays?

Putin spokesman Sergei Markov: A little bit boring from my point of view.

Jason Jones: Basic human rights for gays, pfft, who cares.

Putin spokesman Sergei Markov: There is real personal freedom in Russia. Nobody care with whom you want to have the sex. For example, you absolutely free to make sex with this table. Go ahead.

Jason Jones: Okay.

Putin spokesman Sergei Markov: From my point of view, even right now we can do it.

Jason Jones: I’m not gonna f*ck the table.

Putin spokesman Sergei Markov: But, you can many times repeat me that it’s normal, that it’s absolutely freedom, that it’s democracy, that it’s “human right” for you to making sex with this table.

Jason Jones: That’s a false analogy.

Putin spokesman Sergei Markov: Having sex between man and woman, normal. Having sex between man and man not normal. Everybody knows this, including gays.

Jason Jones voice-over: After listening to this nutjob, I only had one thought: Boy, do I owe Rick Santorum an apology. Because even though he’s said pretty much every homophobic thing imaginable, he’s never had the gall to say gay people agree with him.

The conversation continues:

Putin spokesman Sergei Markov: No gay propaganda to childrens.

Jason Jones: Why, why?

Putin spokesman Sergei Markov: Because the world too dangerous.

Jason Jones: Dangerous? It’s dangerous for gays to walk by holding hands in front of kids?  Who cares?

Putin spokesman Sergei Markov: Parents of children, they care.

Jason Jones: I’m a parent, I don’t care.

Putin spokesman Sergei Markov: Sometime you will care, and you will say to me, Sergei you was right.

Jason Jones: I don’t have a lot of certainties in life, but the one absolute certainty I have is that I will never say Sergei you were right.

Jones then goes on to the street to talk to real Russians, because certainly they can’t be as bas as their government:

Jason Jones: Why don’t we have a gay pride parade, followed by a homophobic parade, followed by a f’g idiot parade. Then the kids can see all viewpoints.

Russian on the street: I can only imagine taking my kid to school and seeing two dads bringing a kid, and me trying to explain to my kid what’s going on here.

Jason Jones: Right, I mean it’s tough to explain that that kid has two daddies.

Russian on the street: How to find the words?

Jason Jones: Well, other than the words I just used.

Russian on the street: You, you did?

Jason Jones: Yeah.

Russian on the street: I cannot find the words.

Jason Jones: Repeat what I said.

Russian on the street: What?

Jason Jones: That kid has two daddies.

Russian on the street: No way.

Jones does find one courageous woman, willing to defend gays – she was pretty need, and he ended the show with her.

You wonder if Putin even realizes how badly he messed up by having the Olympics in Sochi. The world knew little of Russia after the Soviet days. Then came the Olympics, and for the past year the world has been watching and listening. And the results have been devastating. Russia is coming across as a third world backwater.  And that can’t be helping Putin’s dream of the Olympics introducing a modern 21st century Russia to the world.

Oh, the world got introduced to Russia all right.  Then quickly excused itself, and ran off to take a shower.


(I’m told that in order to better see my Facebook posts in your feed, you need to “follow” me.)


Follow me on Twitter: @aravosis | @americablog | @americabloggay | Facebook | Instagram | Google+ | LinkedIn. John Aravosis is the Executive Editor of AMERICAblog, which he founded in 2004. He has a joint law degree (JD) and masters in Foreign Service from Georgetown; and has worked in the US Senate, World Bank, Children's Defense Fund, the United Nations Development Programme, and as a stringer for the Economist. He is a frequent TV pundit, having appeared on the O'Reilly Factor, Hardball, World News Tonight, Nightline, AM Joy & Reliable Sources, among others. John lives in Washington, DC. .

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