Colbert Report schools US Olympic men’s speekstaters in being hetero for Sochi

A pretty funny segment from the Colbert Report on training the US men’s Olympic speedskating team to be as hetero as possible for when they compete in Sochi, Russia – since Russia is notoriously anti-gay.


Buddy Cole was pretty funny this time.

The part with Kyle Carr about 3:00 into the video is priceless.

Buddy Cole: Is speedskating a choice, or were you born a speedskater?

Speedskater Kyle Carr: I think you’re born a speedskater.

Buddy Cole:  So you were born a speedskater? Yes. What’s your name?

Kyle Carr: Kyle Carr.

Buddy Cole: [repeats his name with the same butch accent Carr has] Kyle Carr.

Kyle Carr: I’m a short track, um, I do short track…

Buddy Cole: What, you’re a short tracker? Don’t worry about it Kyle, it’s a little cold in here.  We’re all a little short-tracked.

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Follow me on Twitter: @aravosis | @americablog | @americabloggay | Facebook | Instagram | Google+ | LinkedIn. John Aravosis is the Executive Editor of AMERICAblog, which he founded in 2004. He has a joint law degree (JD) and masters in Foreign Service from Georgetown; and has worked in the US Senate, World Bank, Children's Defense Fund, the United Nations Development Programme, and as a stringer for the Economist. He is a frequent TV pundit, having appeared on the O'Reilly Factor, Hardball, World News Tonight, Nightline, AM Joy & Reliable Sources, among others. John lives in Washington, DC. .

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  • StevesWeb

    This brought tears to my eyes, so good! It’s nice to see our old Canadian hero Scott still has got his talent.

  • He was only pretending he couldn’t skate. Scott is Canadian and has been ice skating since he was 5.

  • UncleBucky

    Sashay Olympics. Oughta be a round the world meme. 3, 2, 1…. (pow!)

  • vonlmo

    Bitch is wearing my purple velvet jacket.Oh, excuse me. It’s “plum”.

  • Hue-Man

    This is the first time I’ve heard them referred to as the Sashay Olympics.

    Putting Buddy on figure skates was cruel; the one time I tried them, I did a face-plant on the ice. After awhile they’re fun for turns but you’re always watching out for the pick.

    Love the Nordic backgrounds of the team – Florida, Texas, even Federal Way, WA, isn’t particularly cold.

  • Loved the Crocs as “gay kryptonite”

  • Jay

    oh they are cute! and, hot in those tights.

  • cole3244

    this was laugh out loud funny!

  • It was hilarious.

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