This is a story I somehow missed a few weeks ago, but it’s just too good to pass up. A South Carolina woman, Helen Ann Williams, was arrested on Christmas Day for stabbing her common-law husband with a ceramic squirrel the night before.
His crime? Heading out to buy beer, finding the store closed, and thus returning home to his wife empty-handed – it was Christmas Eve, after all.
His wife was apparently so incensed about her husband being beer-less, she picked up a ceramic squirrel (who doesn’t have a ceramic squirrel?), hit him over the head with it, then stabbed him in the shoulder and chest.
According to NBC, it was no joke. The police found the man covered in blood with cuts on his shoulder and face, and a huge gash in his chest.
But the best part of the whole thing? The final line in the NBC story online:
The condition of the squirrel wasn’t reported.
Such domestic squabbles apparently aren’t anything new in South Carolina. A 34 year old woman stabbed her fiancé on Christmas day after they argued over what color scheme to use at their upcoming wedding.
Then there’s that horrible story from Florida of the man who was shot, and killed, for texting during a movie. For the record, I’m opposed to the death penalty for texting in movie theaters. And WTF was anyone doing bringing a gun to a movie anyway?
Putting aside the whole murder thing, the number of people who are either on their phones or texting during movies has really gotten out of control. Last time I went to a movie in downtown DC I got to witness non-stop cell phone use, and a fight, which caused the front half of the cinema to jump out of their seats and run to the back to watch.
Do we live in a great country, or what?