Post-it Note parenting advice from a new dad (funny as hell)

His name is Chris Illuminati, and he’s got one of the funniest Tumblr sites, called “Message with a bottle.”

The site is a collection of his funny Post-it Notes about raising his new son.

They’re just wonderful.

Chris Illuminati

Chris Illuminati

Here’s an assortment of some particularly good ones.  Do go check out his site, it’s just great.  Via the site you can find some of his books he’s written as well.

tumblr_lhc4jrQBdE1qbl0gio1_500  tumblr_ls6mmq4JGR1qbl0gio1_500 tumblr_lrewu9GQvl1qbl0gio1_500

tumblr_lkkq0tg8tB1qbl0gio1_500 tumblr_ljuoj0g6ug1qbl0gio1_500 tumblr_lymdhldGdf1qbl0gio1_500 tumblr_m928s7nHyG1qbl0gio1_500 tumblr_mfdz3p0Ttb1qbl0gio1_500 tumblr_mwh0sj8hgf1qbl0gio1_500

(I’m told that in order to better see my Facebook posts in your feed, you need to “follow” me.)

Follow me on Twitter: @aravosis | @americablog | @americabloggay | Facebook | Instagram | Google+ | LinkedIn. John Aravosis is the Executive Editor of AMERICAblog, which he founded in 2004. He has a joint law degree (JD) and masters in Foreign Service from Georgetown; and has worked in the US Senate, World Bank, Children's Defense Fund, the United Nations Development Programme, and as a stringer for the Economist. He is a frequent TV pundit, having appeared on the O'Reilly Factor, Hardball, World News Tonight, Nightline, AM Joy & Reliable Sources, among others. John lives in Washington, DC. .

Share This Post

  • The final one, turds & turtles. Been there. Le enfante terrible then proceeded to flush the Ninja Turtles, the G.I. Joes, attempted to flush Barbie until her older sister came to the rescue. Some $200 in toys and a $380 plumber’s bill later… did you know that a 2 year old’s screams can clear the entire contents of a septic tank’s drain field? It only works when you’re attempting to flush the two year old with orders to “don’t come back until you bring every last toy with you!”

    She never so much as took her toys in the bathroom again.

  • That makes two of us, dear. Even if mine are 1,800 miles away, it’s still better. Spoil ’em stinkin’ rotten and send ’em HOME! REVENGE IS MINE!!

    I love my grampa job.

  • sane37

    Its because masculinity is, indeed, imagined here.
    Can’t just be, for some reason.

  • Guest23

    Ugh, is it really necessary for this asshole to teach his son to sexually objectify women already? Boys from other countries don’t yell out excitedly about women’s breasts. They’ve been taught better manners by their non-American parents. I don’t get why American men are in such a hurry to teach their male children to sexually objectify women’s bodies openly and unashamedly. And what was that disgusting bit about the father eagerly leering at the breasts of other women only to be disappointed when there weren’t any? The guy is married. Has he no shame? What is he teaching his son exactly? I don’t get why in America, it’s okay for straight men to leer at women all in the name of some imagined masculinity.

  • HelenRainier


  • Drew2U

    Most of them. La mayoria de ellos. La maggiore parte di essi. La plupart d’entre eux.

  • HelenRainier

    Four languages? Do you remember them all?

  • Drew2U

    …When you grow up with a mother who had her doctorate in education, you learn the correct pronunciation of every nursery rhyme. In four languages.

  • fritzrth

    I always thought it was “paddy.”

  • HelenRainier

    John, I didn’t either. I grew up saying “Patty cake…” Amazing the things you can still learn in your 60s and you find out you were wrong all those years! My day is now ruined. Thanks, John! :-)

  • I had no idea it was “pat a cake.”

  • timncguy

    I’m amazed at how good his hand writing is !!!!

  • Indigo

    I liked the one about waking the baby up to tell him about Bin Laden. I had to laugh because it reminded me of the time I explained how my TIAA-CREF annuity worked to my dog. She tilted her head as if listening attentively and maintained eye contact for well over five minutes. Good dog!

  • Whitewitch

    Ahh to be young again with a wee one…those were the days. No no they were not…I am so glad now it is only grandchildren who I can spoil and not worry about the repercussions.

  • Ourhy4104

    мʏ ƈօ-աօʀĸɛʀ’ѕ мօтнɛʀ мαĸɛѕ $78 нօυʀʟʏ օɴ тнɛ ƈօмքυтɛʀ. ѕнɛ нαѕ вɛɛɴ օυт օғ աօʀĸ ғօʀ ѕιх мօɴтнѕ вυт ʟαѕт мօɴтн нɛʀ քαʏ աαѕ $21з90 ʝυѕт աօʀĸιɴɢ օɴ тнɛ ƈօмքυтɛʀ ғօʀ α ғɛա нօυʀѕ. ʋιɛա քυвʟιѕнɛʀ ѕιтɛ fox800&#46com

  • cole3244

    very illuminating chris!

© 2017 AMERICAblog Media, LLC. All rights reserved. · Entries RSS