This is what happens when you take the gay out of the Olympics

For only $595, you too can own the ugliest Christmas sweater of your life, and show your support for the US Olympic Team at the same time!

Yes, Virginia, there are real-life consequences to taking the “gay” out of the Olympics.

This:

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The Ralph Lauren US Olympic Team Opening Ceremony sweater. Only $595 dollars each. (Credit: Ralph Lauren)

And for only $795, you can own the Ralph Lauren Women’s Olympic pea coat:

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(Credit: Ralph Lauren)

The Internet is blaming Ralph Lauren.  Big time.

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I blame Vladimir Putin.

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(Credit: Ralph Lauren)


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Follow me on Twitter: @aravosis | @americablog | @americabloggay | Facebook | Google+. John Aravosis is the editor of AMERICAblog, which he founded in 2004. He has a joint law degree (JD) and masters in Foreign Service from Georgetown (1989); and worked in the US Senate, World Bank, Children's Defense Fund, and as a stringer for the Economist. Frequent TV pundit: O'Reilly Factor, Hardball, World News Tonight, Nightline & Reliable Sources. Bio, .

Share This Post

  • Monado

    Hey, it was folksy!

  • mirror

    No, that doesn’t work either. And I’m not going to try any of your ideas again. I don’t feel well today…

  • southsam7

    1996 Olympics in Atlanta had handsome-ish but functional offerings.

  • Pasquale

    Is freaking Ralph Lauren the ONLY designer we can use? 2nd disaster in a row!

  • Indigo

    Oh, myyy!

  • http://adgitadiaries.com/ karmanot

    Would appeal to babushkas maybe—– For ze Vinter vear.

  • http://adgitadiaries.com/ karmanot

    Bodhi Dog thinks he is a cat, but is too old now to sleep on a warm window sill.

  • http://adgitadiaries.com/ karmanot

    It would be hard to outdo Canada in that respect, but I admit to admiring their folks effort. It was especially impressive when k d Lang rose out of an elevated wedding like a white obelisk and sang Cohen’s magnificent ‘Hallelujah.’ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oZN2eTgvVshttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oZN2eTgvVs

  • http://AMERICAblog.com/ John Aravosis

    Looking tacky before the world: Priceless.

  • ronbo

    Let’s be honest.

    They represent both the ugliness AND militaristic repression of these olympics… with just a touch of corporatism. Add the bloodied police baton and they will be perfect!

  • http://www.americablog.com/ Naja pallida

    That’s over a thousand dollars more than last year’s uniforms. Premium price for Made in the USA.

  • emjayay

    In the opening ceremony parade eveyone generally wears jackets. The pea coat is for men too. I don’t know when they are supposed to wear the cardigan.

  • emjayay

    Somehow doing anything to a pea coat is just wrong. Like saying Frisco.

  • http://www.rebeccamorn.com/mind BeccaM

    Me too. Only sans cats.

  • http://www.rebeccamorn.com/mind BeccaM

    Mmmmmm… the rank miasma of unfettered capitalism…

  • Bomer

    Well, you would have to be blind drunk for that to look good and I can save my liver the abuse and just take out my contacts. =)

  • http://www.rebeccamorn.com/mind BeccaM

    Funny, I was thinking “They might not look that bad if one was incredibly drunk or stoned on acid.”

  • Bomer

    Oh, I dunno. They don’t look that bad if I take out my contact lenses.

  • Indigo

    “It’s the Hee-Haw Special!” exclaimed a friend when I showed him this selection of Ralph Laruen’s designs.

  • Ninong

    For only $2,218 you can own the complete outfit.

  • http://adgitadiaries.com/ karmanot

    OMG! Stomach is churning—-pushes key board out of harm’s way. :-O

  • http://adgitadiaries.com/ karmanot

    And dyes grown in flower pots in her organic herbs garden!

  • nicho

    I also find it odd that Ralph Lauren was allowed to put his corporate logo right on the lapel.

  • nicho

    Maybe we need a “flag wearing” amendment instead of a “flag burning” amendment.

  • Monophylos Fortikos

    Not as bad as Georgie Bush actually signing an American flag back when he was stinking up the White House…

  • Indigo

    I knew it! I have a sure sense of where Martha’s hand is dabbling. ;-)

  • http://adgitadiaries.com/ karmanot

    “But ya are Blanche”?

  • http://adgitadiaries.com/ karmanot

    But, the wool comes from Martha’s blow-dried sheep.

  • http://adgitadiaries.com/ karmanot

    Don’t worry, I am one.

  • http://adgitadiaries.com/ karmanot

    Or rag rugs with sleeves.

  • Strepsi
  • JamesR

    Exactly!

  • JamesR

    Ugly, OMFG, but also against US Flag code U.S. Code Title 4, Chapter 1, § 8 (d) Respect for flag http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/4/8 Flag abuse.

    Also a mark that he had no original ideas, fall back, use the flag to say “America.” How fucking lazy!

    …of course the 1% who could afford these don’t care so much about the flag so so what?

  • Jim Olson

    And, though the US flag code does not have the force of law, the code does strongly suggest that the American flag should *not* be used on clothing, except as a patch on uniforms. Funny how the loudest rah-rah American flag wavers are the first ones to ignore the Flag code…

  • jasper

    Hey, don’t be mean to cat-hoarding aunts.

  • http://www.rebeccamorn.com/mind BeccaM

    lol

    So of COURSE that’s the offering from a multimillion dollar ‘designer label’ fashion company for a money-soaked public spectacle…

  • Tone

    How many actual Americans can afford to splash out six hundred bucks for a sweater? Perhaps it is the very quintessential elitism of the garment that makes it uniquely American?

  • http://www.americablog.com/ Naja pallida

    They’re supposed to be an interpretation of the ‘patchwork quilt’ type of designs that were popularized during the Great Depression, when no amount of good cloth was allowed to go to waste.

  • http://adgitadiaries.com/ karmanot

    nauseous to die!

  • http://adgitadiaries.com/ karmanot

    Only when wearing a second hand bridesmaid dress.

  • http://adgitadiaries.com/ karmanot

    Yep, dye the shoes and add some rickrack and it’s good as new.

  • Wesinoregon

    The wool for them came from a sheep farm here in Oregon. At least it’s not their fault.

  • http://adgitadiaries.com/ karmanot

    “something knitted by a dotty old cat-hoarding aunt..” While drinking Sherry from a quart jar and consulting a Ouija Board.. :-O

  • Silver_Witch

    Based on the picture below which emjayay posted, it seems that with just 8 people wearing the USA is lost in the shuffle of color and splash. And it looks like a 4th of July picnic table cloth. But to each his own…I am not participating, watching or supporting this Olympia so they could wear black ha-jibs for all I care.

  • Silver_Witch

    Very well worded Petition DCM70508….signed and sealed with a kiss.

  • http://www.rebeccamorn.com/mind BeccaM

    Um, yes, the Ralph Lauren offerings are especially hideous — but I have yet to see any Olympics outfits that weren’t (1) ugly as sin and (2) obviously a commercial shill for whichever corporation has graciously ‘donated’ it in exchange for the equivalent of millions of dollars in advertising exposure.

    BTW, those sweaters look like something knitted by a dotty old cat-hoarding aunt…

  • Silver_Witch

    No, but the hips you got….ohhhh baby!!!

  • Silver_Witch

    They are a little busy eh? I am thinking someone might have been drinking a little toooo much vodka when they were knitting.

  • arcadesproject

    Maybe Ralph has, like, incipient Alzheimer’s.

  • nicho

    That could probably cause seizures in some viewers/

  • jomicur

    A small price to pay to look like a complete jerk.

  • Island In The Sky

    Those are the UGLIEST fucking things I’ve ever seen! You couldn’t PAY me enough to be seen out in public wearing that!

  • emjayay

    Which you saw where?

  • emjayay

    A sample of the effect:

  • dcinsider

    Anyone wearing that sweater has no fear being beaten for being gay. It was obviously designed to keep our athletes safe from roaming mobs of Russian gay bashers. Brilliant thinking here.

  • nicho

    Replicating an ugly sweater 100 times won’t make it any less ugly. In fact, it could be just the opposite.

  • http://www.americablog.com/ Naja pallida

    On the plus side, they’re made in sweatshops right here in the USA, just outside of Los Angeles, instead of in China where Ralph Lauren prefers.

  • http://www.newmillgay.com/ The_Fixer

    Yes, I have to agree. It looks like it should have sponsor logos all over it, but it really doesn’t need them to achieve that look.

    Ugh.

  • dula

    Oh so the terrorism has already started. They hate us for our freedom…sweaters.

  • 2patricius2

    I thought maybe this was a NASCAR team.

  • 2patricius2

    Thanks for the link.

  • rerutled

    An important consideration: the main purpose of these get-ups is that they are worn in the opening ceremonies. They are essentially parade outfits. Consider what the outfits look like with a mass of 100 athletes all wearing them, marching into a 100,000-person stadium, seen live in a group as a whole (and from camera shots which capture the entire group). In such a context, the solid-basic-color blazer/sweater design won’t be quite as interesting as this one, I hold.

  • rerutled

    Are personal insults the standard of discussion here?

  • http://www.americablog.com/ Naja pallida

    Maybe it’s to honor of the Jamaican bobsled team qualifying again. Red Stripe Beer has been their sponsor in the past.

  • Ednahilda

    Women fit enough to compete in the Olympics are probably the ONLY women who could hope to look good in such a dreadful coat.
    Oh, and underfed supermodels.

  • nicho

    It looks like it was designed by a committee — of people who didn’t like each other.

    Well, from what I’m reading, the olympics are going to be pretty ugly. So maybe the sweater is reflecting that.

  • Monophylos Fortikos

    Ah, sporting-fan braggadocio, for the man who has nothing else to be proud of.

  • Monophylos Fortikos

    One difficulty is that, whatever else you can say about it, the American flag with its broad stripes and bright stars doesn’t lend itself to tasteful incorporation into a design. Which isn’t to say that it can’t be done, only that it can more easily be overdone as is the case here.

  • Monophylos Fortikos

    Maybe this is some sort of elaborate disruptive coloration pattern meant to confuse the eye, like the stripes on a zebra.

  • HereinDC

    In regards to the woman’s pea coat: Just what women want…..is a big wide band parallell line drawing attention to their hips.

  • Strepsi

    Ha, good analogy!
    xoxo

  • DCM70508

    Would you sign and share my Change.org petition being sent to NBC and the International Olympic Committee called:

    “TOP TEN REASONS WHY WE WON’T BE WATCHING THE 2014 SOCHI OLYMPICS”. Let them know we won’t support corporations and organizations that put money and profits ahead of people and human rights. Here’s the web link: http://www.change.org/petitions/nbc-here-are-the-top-ten-reasons-why-we-won-t-be-watching-the-2014-sochi-olympics

  • rerutled

    Yes, this looks very practical, like a good bridesmaid’s dress. It can be worn many times in the future.

  • lucyboots

    Yes, I want a big red stripe. “Honey does this make my butt look big?”

  • barada

    The Olympics should be fabulous.

    The Sochi Olympics are not fabulous.

  • caphillprof

    First time as tragedy; second time as farce.

    Obviously, the American Olympics Committee HATES America.

  • Henry Owen

    These outfits make my Christmas sweater look downright Amish.

  • Strepsi

    Ralph got in such trouble last time for making his U.S. uniforms in sweatshops in Asia, one can only imagine the 2014 meeting went “OK, I’ll make them in the U.S. if I can put my logo visibly on the collar”. Too bad he forgot to make clothes people would aspire to…

  • Indigo

    Oh, it’s divine! Exactly what dear old Ralph imagines looks gay. Totally! But shouldn’t Martha Stewart get part of the credit? It’s so . . . ya know . . . tacky.

  • Strepsi

    shallow aside, that skier ^ Alex Bilodeau is a cutie. First Canadian to win a gold medal in Canada.

  • Strepsi

    Sorry rerutled, but when the rest of the world thinks of the U.S. as a corporatocracy, I don;t think a giant POLO ad on the uniforms represents the U.S. well.

    The ugliness of the Olympics themselves aside, Hudson’s Bay Company has done an amazing job with our CANADA uniforms. I even still wear the toque in winter, and the maple leaf mittens in 2010 had to go into additional rounds of production. Our simple flag helps, but HBC does an amazing job…. and you do not see a giant HBC logo. I think they keep the focus on clothing the athletes, and real actual people, will actually want to wear.

  • rerutled

    Fashion is difficult, and like art, it’s not just about “I know what I like.” I think this is a very good coat, which does a lot to represent the United States at the games. Almost every other outfit makes them look like ushers. We look like the stars of the show. Germany also “gets it”.

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