God bless the Mormons. They care so much it hurts.
You see, the state of Utah – late on New Year’s Eve – just filed its appeal with the Supreme Court, asking the court to stay the marriages of gay couples in Utah. And the state’s arguments are, as always, quite a doozy – including my new all-time favorite. You see, the Mormons and the GOP have to stop gays from getting married IN ORDER TO SAVE THE GAYS ANY UNNECESSARY PAIN.
They just care so much.
Just to back up a second – a federal court on December 20, 2013 struck down Utah’s gay marriage ban, effectively legalizing gay nuptials in the state. And boy did the gays get nupped. Over one thousand couples stood in very long lines across the state to get married.
Well, Utah has finally gotten around to asking the Supreme Court to stop the-gay from getting married, and conveniently chose late on New Year’s eve to do it. Suggesting to me, at least, that the Mormons got involved and pushed to minimize the PR damage as much as possible.
The Mormons have been smarting for going on 5 years now after they single-handedly killed love in California back in 2008 by being the guiding, and financial, source behind Proposition 8, which repealed the right of gay couples to marry in that state. As a result, a lot of people who didn’t know much about Mormons realized that they don’t really like Mormons because Mormons don’t really like any us (or women, or blacks).
Fast forward to today. Pending the appeal of the case that effectively legalized gay marriage in Utah, the last chance of the GOP-Mormon-Complex to kill the civil rights of gays and lesbians yet again is to petition the Supreme Court to issue a stay. So that’s what they did today.
Let me share a few of the particularly funny things the Mormons included in their hideously anti-gay brief:
1. The GOP Mormons are very concerned about the “historical” and “traditional” definition of marriage, even though historically and traditionally the definition of marriage in Utah meant one man having dozens of wives. This guy, for example, had 55 wives:
Feel free to visit this link to peruse the 55 wives of Joseph Smith.
2. The GOP Mormons think that states should be left alone to make up their own definition of marriage, even though Utah had to give up its polygamist definition of marriage in order to join the United States. Here’s what their Supreme Court brief incredibly claims:
“That states have a powerful interest in controlling the definition of marriage within their borders is indisputable.”
Except when it’s not.
3. The GOP Mormons are using the already-debunked Regnerus “study” – actually a religious right initiated project – to “prove” that gay couples are bad parents, or something. An internal audit of the study found it to be, and I quote, “bullsh*t.”
It’s pretty despicable to use something that’s A) already been debunked, and B) wasn’t even designed to consider whether kids do better or worse with gay parents, as proof that kids do better without gay parents. But hey, we’re not dealing with reason here. We’re dealing with two powers that hate us mightily – the Republican party and the Mormons. And they will bash us any and every chance they can. Lies are a small price for them to pay for the chance to bash someone they don’t like.
4. The GOP Mormons want to kill your civil right to marry, yet again, because they love you. I’ll let this one speak for itself:
How sweet, the gay-bashers care about the dignity of their victims.
5. Of course, the Mormons are asking the courts for the very “irreparable harm” that they claim they want to avoid. There already are over 1,000 gay marriages in the state. And those marriages will suffer “irreparable harm” if their marital status is retroactively voided. So I guess the court shouldn’t void those marriages. Thanks, guys!