Jesusland to gorge itself in support of Duck Dynasty

A segment of Americans enamored with reality television star Phil Robertson’s controversial anti-gay, pro-plantation, and pro-child-bride positions plan to show their support by donning camouflage and gorging themselves on fast food. They plan to eat until they get their Phil.

They call themselves “Phil Phans” (a play on “Phil Fans,” get it?), and have set their “Chick-Phil-A National Support Day” for January 21st, the day after Martin Luther King Day.

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First some background.  Robertson. the star of A&E’s show “Duck Dynasty,” found himself in some hot water after he told GQ the following (I’m quoting a larger portion to give some context):

“We’re Bible-thumpers who just happened to end up on television,” he tells me. “You put in your article that the Robertson family really believes strongly that if the human race loved each other and they loved God, we would just be better off. We ought to just be repentant, turn to God, and let’s get on with it, and everything will turn around.”

Nothing says "woo those soccer moms" like having Charlie Manson's younger brother lookalike be the rallying cry for your party. (Phil Robertson photo by A&E)

Nothing woos soccer moms, and millennials, like making Charlie Manson’s younger brother the new poster-boy for your party. (Phil Robertson photo by A&E)

What does repentance entail? Well, in Robertson’s worldview, America was a country founded upon Christian values (Thou shalt not kill, etc.), and he believes that the gradual removal of Christian symbolism from public spaces has diluted those founding principles. (He and Si take turns going on about why the Ten Commandments ought to be displayed outside courthouses.) He sees the popularity of Duck Dynasty as a small corrective to all that we have lost.

“Everything is blurred on what’s right and what’s wrong,” he says. “Sin becomes fine.”

What, in your mind, is sinful?

“Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men,” he says. Then he paraphrases Corinthians: “Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers—they won’t inherit the kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself. It’s not right.”

Robertson continues, this time equating being gay with being drunk or a terrorists:

Old Phil—the guy with the booze and the pills—died a long time ago, and New Phil sees no need to apologize for him: “We never, ever judge someone on who’s going to heaven, hell. That’s the Almighty’s job. We just love ’em, give ’em the good news about Jesus—whether they’re homosexuals, drunks, terrorists. We let God sort ’em out later, you see what I’m saying?”

In a culture that readily accepts highly-processed chemicals as “food,” it was only a matter of time before we found people going to the same artificial trough to meet their other needs, from spirituality to political expression.

Lindsay Graham chick-fil-a

Lindsey Graham celebrating the anti-gay Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day.

In the past eighteen months we’ve seen an odd phenomenon in many regions of the US: the meteoric rise of the greasy fast food bag as a new symbol of moral righteousness.

Long thought of as mere garbage, this former agent of death is now the exulted symbol of a desperate people’s moral compass (life imitates art). Politicians like Sarah Palin and Lindsey Graham proudly pose with their grease-god to show just how much they too hate whatever latest minority the Republican party is hating on these days. (And yes, the irony is apparently lost on Miss Lindsey.)

Phil Robertson is being called “The Next Ronald Reagan” by some who compare his quotes equating homosexuality and bestiality with this earlier Reagan statement on the AIDS epidemic:

“Maybe the Lord brought down this plague… because illicit sex is against the Ten Commandments.”

But of course, that wasn’t the only controversial thing Robertson’s ever said. In 2009, Mr. Robertson spoke of the virtues of marrying 15 year old girls, as opposed to 20 year old women, because young girls are easier to train:

A good woman is hard to find. Mainly because these boys are waiting until they get to be about 20 years old before they marry ‘em. Look, you wait till they get to be about 20 years old, the only picking that’s going to take place is your pocket. You gotta marry these girls when they’re 15 or 16, they’ll pick your ducks. You need to check with mom and dad about that, of course.

More than ever, highly-mobile Americans move to progressive neighborhoods or cities to be around like-minded individuals, and the Phil Phan’s Facebook page offers a bizarre peek into what’s going on in broad swaths of the GOP side of our nation.

Screen-Shot-2013-12-27-at-11.46.35-AM

These people are angry, xenophobic, homophobic, racist, sexist and don’t know how to express it any other way than by doing what comes naturally to far too many of them: gorging on fast food.  (You know what’ll really show God you’re a true believer? Getting diabetes.)  They’re also not terribly bright. Sarah Palin joined the pro-Robertson bandwagon before admitting that she hadn’t actually read what Robertson said. Maybe she was just hungry.

Chick-Fil-a has no connection with Phil Robertson, but his supporters like Chick-fil-A’s anti-gay reputation, and enjoy eating their calorically-dense meal options in homo-free zones.  Of course, the irony is that Chick-Fil-A, increasingly uncomfortable with its president’s outspokenness, has been trying to move away from the whole fire-and-brimstone thing, as it apparently isn’t terribly good for business outside of Jesusland.

Many of us outside of the conservative movement can’t understand how a hunger-strike-in-reverse is a protest.  But if the Left really wants to show compassion for these miserable souls, maybe we should just announce that broccoli is anti-gay – along with a good jog.

@EmperorAndoe


Chris Andoe is a St. Louis based writer and seasoned activist. After meeting John Aravosis at a Chicago “StopDrLaura.com” protest in 2000, Chris was inspired to organize his own major demonstrations in St. Louis, his adopted hometown, which drew national attention. Since then, his activism has revolved around LGBT, affordable housing, and mass transit issues. While living in San Francisco, Andoe made headlines taking on the amorphous hacker group Anonymous for publishing nude photos of a Bay Area Rapid Transit spokesperson, saying “Puritanical shame-based tactics have no place in the capital of sexual liberation”, and he extensively covered the city’s jarring gentrification, from mass evictions to the nudity ban. Back in St. Louis Andoe’s hosted public events on the subway and elsewhere as “The Emperor,” and writes the Tales from the Emperor column for Vital Voice Magazine. Always in the fray, Andoe’s been interviewed by NPR, CBS, and has been quoted from CNN to The St. Louis Post Dispatch. His upcoming book of short stories, Delusions of Grandeur, is expected out early next year. Twitter: @EmperorAndoe

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  • cantake8

    That happens a lot with reality celebrities: if they can sell a “brand” to promoters and are wiling to do everything to make that brand stick, they get to make millions and their brand managers get to make billions.

    Look at Food Network: several years ago it was Emeril EVERYTHING. Then his brand wore out. Then it was Bobby Flay day, every day. I haven’t had a TV in four years, but I was house-sitting where they have the full cable package and it looks like Guy Fieri and Rachel Ray have taken over. Just go to Big Lots or Pick-N-Save to see who was “yesterday’s” hot brand.

  • pauljgo

    I stopped in last night for some groceries and i’m looking at the marked down christmas cookies and they even have Duck Dynasty christmas cookies. Their licensing agreements are very similar to Paula Deen, it’s basically – put our name on anything. It’s so strange because these guys – particularly the younger ones are TOTAL FAKES. Google duck dynasty is fake and you’ll see numerous photos of them frolicking on the beach in matching clothing. The one dude had the most precious bleached tips.

  • cantake8

    I read a great article on this blog a few years ago that outlined the hierarchy of bashing is directly related to the fear factor. Gays, women, children, elderly, handicapped are not feared, therefore they suffer greater proportions of bias.

  • cantake8

    Tracy Morgan is a jackass and should not have gotten a pass on his anti-gay crap.
    But it’s a trend with many comedians, often Black.

    I was listening to a bit by Katt Williams that popped up on Comedy 24/7. He talks about watching his little boy play at a birthday party and how his kid started doing “gay stuff.” He was tempted to “smack the gay outta him” and confessed that he would do anything to prevent him from being gay. We have the holy Black Comedy duo: anti-gay and child abuse. The only thing missing was misogyny.

  • cantake8

    Hatred of gays is an indicator that is almost always accompanied by misogyny. Those inseparable evil twins are likewise often seen in the company of racism and xenophobia. All of them can be traced back to prideful ignorance.

  • cantake8

    What is the parallel between unhealthy fatty food and bigotry? That stuff makes people mean, probably because it requires antacids and gas relief pills to keep down and laxatives to crap out.

  • cantake8

    Looks like Walmart traded Paula Deen for these clowns.
    Being proudly unfamiliar with Walmart’s inventory, do they stock pointy hoods next to all the camo crap?

  • cantake8

    I doubt anyone on this thread “hates” conservatives and Christian fundamentalists, but the stupidity is overwhelmingly boring and we fear for THE CHILDREN being poisoned by such stupidity.

  • http://hunteratrandom.blogspot.com/ rmthunter

    Look, the more cholesterol and trans fats they ingest, the better for all of us.

    Except, of course, we’ll wind up paying their medical bills, because “Socialism!!1!”

  • http://hunteratrandom.blogspot.com/ rmthunter

    But of course, it’s perfectly all right for the American “Family” Association to boycott Disney over Gay Days, or Ford for producing a gay-friendly ad, or Home Depot for contributing to gay organizations. It’s all right for the OneMillion(minus960,000)Moms to write to advertisers of TV shows they disapprove, demanding that they pull their advertising from those shows.

    That’s Godly (TM), isn’t it?

    There’s no such thing as “neutrality” on social issues — that’s right-wing Newspeak for “maintain the current state of discrimination.”

    And I’ve got news for you — people quite often get suspended and/or fired from their jobs for saying things that their employers feel reflect badly on the company. Employers have a right to do that.

    So sorry that those vicious gay activist groups interfered with Papa Duck’s God-given right to have a TV show.

  • http://www.zazzle.com/fierylocks FieryLocks

    A&E didn’t ‘wise up’ under pressure from ‘most Americans’. In the end it’s all about the money and Phil Robertson is just another pile of change for the network. After another year or two, Duck Dorks will be replaced with the next set of circus sideshow freaks. Phil and his family are just cogs in the machine that will be replaced eventually. Just wait.

  • http://www.zazzle.com/fierylocks FieryLocks

    Whatever…

  • Sally

    Hmm..then why was Martin Bashir fired again? Because Sarah whined.

  • Sally

    I won’t shop at Walmart because they treat their workers like crap. And if they support this fake Duck crew, all the more reason to stay away. How can you like a bunch of educated millionaires acting like backwoods jerks? Is that fun?

  • smkngman3

    I cannot accept a person on TV, Christian or other, that spews bigotry and hatred.

  • http://adgitadiaries.com/ karmanot

    To the point! Couldn’t have said it better myself. :-)

  • http://adgitadiaries.com/ karmanot

    You have our sympathies.

  • TheOriginalLiz

    They never intended it to be more than a publicity stunt. Viewership is up, monetisation of Duck Dynasty products is up … it’s a winning situation for some at the expense of the stupid.

  • pericles9

    Pilgrim, you have missed the point: It was hate speech,directed at (at least) two minority groups. Read yer Bible…nothing “religious” about it.

  • fletcher

    So maybe we should point out why anyone should believe the bigoted ravings dressed in fundamentalist cloth to somebody seen on TV who couldn’t assemble a child’s playhouse any better than The Three Stooges or who carved a Halloween pumpkin with a chain saw because he couldn’t find a kitchen knife?

  • http://www.americablog.com/ Naja pallida

    The born again ones always seem to be the worst. What is it about ‘finding Jesus’ that so often seems to turn otherwise ordinary people into self-righteous pricks? They may have found Jesus, but they didn’t pay attention to a single thing he ever had to say. They just use him as a shield to deflect criticism of the bigotry they’ve held close to their hearts all along.

  • fletcher

    World passed us by? Then how come we’re looking at you in our rearview mirror… at least until you become a blip too far away to be seen?

  • KingCranky

    Provide verified documentation that you speak for “most Americans”, or that “most Americans” weighed in on Robertson’s remarks.

    I’m guessing you can’t.

    Not “won’t”, but “can’t”.

  • niena

    just as Stephanie said I’m dazzled that any body can make $5186 in 4 weeks on the computer. find more info

    click for details

    http://xurl.es/juxzo

  • Ninong

    notpilgrims2 is full of murder, envy, strife, hatred. He is an insolent, arrogant, God-hater. He is heartless, he is faithless, he is senseless, he is ruthless. He invents ways of doing evil.

    That’s my deeply-held religious conviction, with apologies to Pastor Phil Robertson, who said exactly that about gays in 2010.

  • Ninong

    A&E knew what they were getting into when they hired that redneck wingnut and his tribe in the first place, so that can’t complain now that his intolerant views are shocking to them. That’s his shtick and the basis of his appeal to the likes of Sarah Palin and Bobby Jindal. Birds of a feather…

    Well, at least we now know how long an “indefinite hiatus” lasts. We never did learn how long a “last throe” lasts. Dick Cheney kept telling us for years that the Iraqi insurgency was in its “last throes.”

  • TheOriginalLiz

    Consider who is going to be eating at Cracker Barrel, after all.

  • Buford

    I agree with your assessment of ‘those people’… they basically swapped their old addictions for a new one, becoming vocal to the point of incredulity about the power of Jesus.

    The kicker for me, though, is why it is OK for Phil to get into Heaven after committing sins for all of those years, yet he’s convinced that all gays are already destined for Hell because they are committing a sin? I admit – I’m too smart to understand religious idiocy.

  • Sweetie

    You’re full of shit.

  • Sweetie

    Vapid substance-free false equivalency ad hominem.

  • pericles9

    Uh…apologize to Sarah PALIN??? Where do I begin: Running for Vice President with a “was” as a “soon-2-b-was,” remembering that in her “expert” opinion, never having read the article, she proved her value in delaying the holy Rapture! Why would God need to populate the dark corners of heaven with such sad ignorance?

  • notpilgrims2

    A&E has rescinded Phil’s suspension because most Americans don’t want to see someone suspended for expressing their religious views. Of course, a gay activist group pushed this thing in the first place. It wasn’t enough for A&E to simply express neutrality on social issues–GLAAD wanted them to actively oppose Phil’s positions AND to suspend him. People disagree all the time–rarely does it lead to suspension. And A&E finally wised up this time under the pressure of most Americans and realized that this time was in no way a justifiable reason for suspending Phil.

  • notpilgrims2

    You could just continue to shop at Wal Mart and don’t buy their merchandise. I shop at lots of stores where I don’t buy every single item in the store. Although I might need one item, I don’t want every item. That’s a good tip for you going forward.

  • notpilgrims2

    Reading this article, it sounds like you kind of hate conservatives and Christian fundamentalists and anyone else whose cultural values don’t align with yours. It must be hard to be someone like you trying to fit into a world that has passed you by. Phil was reinstated and your attempts to get him kicked off a show you didn’t even watch in the first place didn’t work. Most people, in this situation, would go on living their lives like ordinary people, not caring about some random show, but you have become so obsessed with the reality show culture that you cannot accept life with Phil on TV.

  • pauljgo

    I have never seen this show, nor would I because I don’t approve of hunting and have no interest in watching people kill animals or brag about doing so.
    I do, however, shop at Walmart. And I have noticed that these guys cheeky faces are plastered on products throughout the store. THAT is going to be a problem for me going forward. Target may be beckoning.

  • http://poodyheads.wordpress.com/ zorbear

    RAmen!

  • cantake8

    DonaldDouglas is a moron.

  • cantake8

    A&E sent a strong message to gays, lesbians and friends of gays and lesbians: A&E embraces religious bigotry if it has enough support.

    Meanwhile at Cracker Barrel Restaurants, executives have apologized for making a mistake when they took a stand against religious bigotry.

  • http://www.rebeccamorn.com/mind BeccaM

    Thanks for letting us keep our chew toy. :-)

  • pappyvet

    With one hand tied behind our backs just to make it fair. ;]

  • pappyvet

    I have zero respect for bigots and zero respect for hit and run trolls.

  • Moderator3

    I hate to see personal attacks, but I’ll allow his comment to stay. You guys are handling him just fine.

  • Ninong

    A&E has now done an about face and rescinded Phil Robertson’s “indefinite hiatus.” It is over! However, that may not be good enough for some of Robertson’s supporters who are now demanding a statement from A&E that they embrace Robertson’s “biblically based values.” “Do they also now embrace the biblically based values and worldview held by the Robertson family and millions of Faith Driven Consumers?”
    Yes, A&E should now issue a full public apology to all the Sarah Palins and Bobby Jindals of the world who were offended by A&E bigotted action. They should retract their comments about black people not being truly happy and content before the end of segregation and the invention of civil rights. And while they’re at it, make ‘em say something bad about Obamacare, too. Oh, and don’t forget The Gays. They should fire all those gays who work for A&E that A&E said were offended by Phil Robertson’s words.
    A&E sucks!

  • Dakotahgeo

    The entire dopey Ducky Dynasty presents a VERY STRONG case FOR abortion! There are, indeed, families that should have had their children neutered and/or spayed!

    PS: Please note that I am against abortion, but in some cases it WOULD be more humane, i.e., the *uck Dynasty!!

  • http://www.rebeccamorn.com/mind BeccaM

    I have no respect for bigots.

    I might appreciate it when they’re being honest about their hate and homophobia. But respect? That’s reserved for those who have actually earned it.

  • http://www.rebeccamorn.com/mind BeccaM
  • pappyvet

    Yes terminology can be fun and at times useful. A rose by any other name would still smell sweet. And hatred of gay and lesbian folk is still poison.

  • ComradeRutherford

    A&E sure had a brilliant plan to increase Duck tchochke sales just in time for Christmas. They completely fooled everyone, AND increased the acceptance of bigotry at the same time!

  • Jim Olson

    Concur. We have deliberately chosen not to have children for this very reason.

  • Jim Olson

    And, that his faux redneck bible thumping lifestyle is a fairly recent choice. They used to be yuppies.

  • Jim Olson

    Unfortunately, we can’t say this publicly, lest we offend. Decades of cut funding for education, decades of glorifying stupidity, decades of being told that the librul elite are bad, and this is what you get. Truth is, the vast majority of Americans are willfully ignorant rubes and marks, and have been deliberately groomed to be this way. Stupid, illiterate, ignorant people are easy to sway with fear and threats, and Republicans know this.

  • http://adgitadiaries.com/ karmanot

    “His family was a bunch of affluent yuppies” Must have taken notes on the Bush’s transformation from East coast aristocrats to just folks Texans.

  • http://adgitadiaries.com/ karmanot

    I imagine the happy, cotton pick’n darkies in Lousyanna will be singing hymns of joy over this restoration of Ducktopia.

  • http://adgitadiaries.com/ karmanot

    “While I understand and respect the viewpoint of Robertson—” Seriously?

  • http://adgitadiaries.com/ karmanot

    How about a raspberry?

  • DonaldDouglas

    Chris Andoe is an idiot. Can I get an amen?

  • http://buddybest.tripod.com/index.html BuddyNovinski

    It’s the same phony deal that the god Reagan and the corporate slut Limbaugh bought: sell the soul and become rich off the ignorant.

  • Sweetie

    The “this guy still has a job” quotes are from Tracy Morgan — hardly an icon in Jesusland. No, we can thank Tina Fey and others in her world for propping him up.

    Also, I was in a doctoral-level course that was primarily about racism and the professor and several students tried to argue that there is a something special about black culture that white people can’t understand that makes Tracy’s hate speech OK.

    The excuse-making comes from all directions and the bottom line is clear: very few people respect gay people and are willing to throw us under the bus to make a buck at any time. And, gay people are somewhat to blame with the embrace of the slur “queer” which definitely sends the wrong message — and the refusal to use heterosexism instead of homophobia so that prejudice against us will be taken as seriously as racism is. Notice how it’s not called blackophobia.

  • pappyvet

    So it was absolutely impossible for me to love my late husband but it is ok to marry a 15 year old girl , be racist and murder your child should they even “act” gay. Some religion those Taliban people have.

  • Sweetie
  • nicho

    The fact that this is a hit show just demonstrates how brain dead the average American is. No wonder the Koch Brothers are picking their pockets. I despair at this and then I remember that 59,000,000 Americans voted for John McCain, a doddering old fool; and Sarah Pailin, a barely literate grifter. The country is so screwed. I am so glad I don’t have children or grandchildren.

  • nicho

    Kind of like Larry the Cable Guy. Phony blue-collar asshole.

  • nicho

    You have to wonder whether all the Phil supporters would have been so supportive of his right to “free speech” if he had trashed Christians.

  • Sweetie

    Helen Thomas, meanwhile, who suggested in an unprepared remark to a gotcha journalist that the Israelis who are settling illegally in the West Bank should go back to their home countries*, lost her career in a dramatic heaping of shame.

    *because of a combination of outrage that she told Israelis what to do
    and inferred antisemitism because one of the countries in her list is
    Germany — since apparently a lot of people think this is 1938

    And Michael Richards, whose racist comments came in the context of being provoked by public harassment and humiliation, lost him his career in a similar wave of outrage.

    Instead, you can say whatever you like about gay people — no matter how horrible — and people will celebrate the 1st amendment’s unwritten decree that the freedom to bully gays shall carry no negative consequences for one’s career.

  • MyrddinWilt

    Oh no, they want ‘jesus care’ instead, I kid you not.

    Jesuscare means you don’t bother with health insurance at all because after you die a slow lingering death with no medication due to not having insurance you will go to the Jesusland in the afterlife.

    Apparently this God they believe in has the moral compass of a spoilt five year old who rewards people who merely believe in him with perpetual bliss and ‘punishes’ those who use their God-granted reason to doubt his existence to perpetual torment.

    The whole theology makes no sense, never has done. For the past 2000 years they have papered over the huge logical holes in the theology with a big stupid smirk and claiming it is some sort of proof of how clever God is.

  • Sweetie

    This guy still has a job:

    “Gays need to quit being p**sies and not be whining about something as insignificant as bullying.”

    “Gay is something that kids learn from the media and programming.”

    “[My son] better talk to me like a man and not in a gay voice or I’ll pull out a
    knife and stab that little n**ger to death.”

    “I don’t “f*cking care if I piss off some gays, because
    if they can take a f*cking d**k up their ass … they can take a f*cking
    joke.”

  • PS

    I found this article to be rather eye-opening. While I understand and respect the viewpoint of Robertson, it may be job-damaging to be so opinionated on TV about such a controversial topic. This article made me laugh a bit, because of some of the humor the author used. As much as the author uses his opinion, I still think this news story got the point across.

  • Sweetie

    Things the networks refused to bring into the story for context:

    1. What happened to Michael Richards.
    2. What happened to Paula Deen.
    3. What happened to Helen Thomas.
    4. The fact that the first amendment doesn’t mean speech doesn’t carry consequences.
    5. What happened to Tracy Morgan.

    From this we can see:

    Just racism or perceived anti-Semitism = goodbye career

    Heterosexism/homophobia = talk about freedom of expression under the first amendment and no actual career damage

    Yes, Duck Dynasty is back in production with the head “patriarch” at the helm.

  • Sweetie

    He is. A&E has reinstated him. Everyone knew this would happen. The racism was glossed over because the series is making too much money to be canned. So, the news networks focused pretty much solely on the gay angle so they could celebrate freedom under the first amendment to bash others and be rewarded with a TV show.

  • Zorba

    And…….
    A&E reversed its suspension of Phil Robertson.
    http://www.chicagotribune.com/entertainment/chi-duck-dynasty-reverses-phil-robertsons-suspension-20131227,0,4062820.story
    Why am I not surprised? Cowardly weasels. Flying Spaghetti Monster forbid that they lose any right-wing, Christo-fascist eyeballs. :-(

  • Indigo

    So that’s what a lifestyle looks like. Oh, myyyy!

  • Indigo

    Religions like that are proof that there is no God.

  • http://www.rebeccamorn.com/mind BeccaM

    Before we forget: Phil Robertson is not only a self-righteous religious bigot, he’s also a millionaire. His family was a bunch of affluent yuppies until they decided to pretend to be backwoods southern yokels for phony ‘reality’ television.

    But most of all, remember this my friends: Religion is the ‘lifestyle choice’, not sexual orientation.

  • http://www.rebeccamorn.com/mind BeccaM

    Robertston found religion AND he became a millionaire.

    Add the two together and it’s a stew of bigoted self-righteousness.

  • cole3244

    religion rears its ugly head again and the brainless followers tag along as usual.

    all the born agains find religion after they have finished sinning then they tell others to refrain from having the fun they had and be like them, aka i’ve got mine the hell with yours, not unlike their political views.

  • samiinh

    He does remind me of Boyd Crowder in the series Justified, who turns out to be just another con.

  • http://adgitadiaries.com/ karmanot

    Except he eats with white, elbow-length gloves, just like a real southern lady.

  • http://adgitadiaries.com/ karmanot

    Da Duck got plucked!

  • Lawerence Collins

    These demonic, soulless sociopathic, Rethuglican zombie sheeple in No Way represent Jesus! They represent their true God Satan and greed in all they do and who they are!

  • http://adgitadiaries.com/ karmanot

    First and foremost Chris: well done: witty and piercing humor.

  • fletcher

    I understand their Uncle Scrooge is building a factory to produce schmuck calls so that ducks can hunt clueless rednecks just as they did in Roald Dahl’s children’s novel “The Magic Finger.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/#!/smitty.pa.795 Smitty PA

    Jesus H. Christ. “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.”

  • BillFromDover

    So now they are gonna pray at the altar of Cholesterol?

    Go for it!

  • TheOriginalLiz

    I keep having to remind myself that the majority of any population are stupider than shit. They are the predator bait so the rest of us can survive to invent the wheel, cities, rocket ships, etc. Problem is, we don’t have any predators and the dumb f*cks reproduce like rabbits.

  • nicho

    I have a feeling that if Phil had stuck to gay bashing, he’d be OK. Gays and Muslims are the only groups you can bash viciously these days and get away with it by hiding behind religious superstition or brainless jingoism. However, he said some pretty racist things about blacks. My feeling is that is what got him in trouble. It’s not OK to bash blacks any more. Had he just stuck to gays and Muslims, he’d still be doing whatever the hell it is he does.

  • jomicur

    Duck Dynasty? Is that about Donald and his nephews?

  • Phylter

    See, Lindsey Graham eating Chick-Fil-A “proves” he’s not gay…

  • Drew2u

    They are also the same people who want to keep their shitty health insurance instead of “obamacare”.
    Natural Selection can’t happen soon enough.

  • Chef Kowalski

    So Phil Robertson is a former alcoholic and dope fiend who found religion. That explains everything. There are no worse people on earth than those type of people. As drunks and dopers they mostly make only their own lives miserable. But after swinging over to being a fundamentalist Christian they spend their time making other people miserable with they judgmental attitudes to those with different belief systems. Most other people are sinners to them and need to adopt their views. I was once plagued by a “Christian” neighbor who judged everyone. He even said his own mother would end up in hell if she didn’t stop watching “The Golden Girls” on TV. He tried to convert me (being a bachelor past age 30 made him fantasize I was a fornicator). He buried me in literature, one of which actually described AIDS as “a gift from God” because “it turned fruits into vegetables.” He got me so angry I once contemplated forcing him to drink a fifth of Scotch to turn him back. Even worse, he told the black grandson of a white neighbor he had the mark of Cain and thus couldn’t get into heaven, which made the then 6-year-old cry. Those fundamentalists have strange views about everything. Maybe if they eat enough fried Chick-Fil-A they’ll clog their arteries sooner and stop bothering normal people.

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