There are thousands of museums in the world. Some dedicated to art, sculpture, nature, architecture and just about everything else imaginable – heck, there’s even a Creationist Museum (dedicated to the notion that man lived alongside, and in harmony, with velociraptors only 4,000 year ago (which must have made Ancient Greece a lot more interesting than the historians realize)), and even a pro-torture museum in Chile.
But did you ever imagine there was a penis museum? There is in Iceland.
The gentleman who started it, Sigurdur Hjartarson, began by collecting penises from male animals native to Iceland, from whales and seals to bulls and goats.
Then he started collecting penises of non-native animals.
He then moved on into collecting some fantasy penises. He claims to have elf penises, among others. (No word on whether the elves also lived alongside the dinosaurs.)
But Hjartarson longed for a Homo sapiens penis for years.
Finally, a 90+ year-old willed him his. It’s joined his other specimens. It’s in its own jar of formaldehyde. Like Einstein’s brain, but different.
The museum has so far received pledges from four men—an Icelander, a German, an American and a Briton—to donate their penises. Canadian film-maker Zach Math comments that the American “is an ordinary guy but he has this quirk where he thinks of his penis as a separate entity from his body — Elmo. He has this dream that he wants it to be the most famous penis in the world.” According to Sigurður, the American donor “wanted to have his penis cut off even during his lifetime and then visit the museum.” The American sent a cast of his penis to serve as a substitute in the meantime, along with photographs of it dressed up as Santa Claus and Abraham Lincoln. The donor also tattooed his penis with the Stars and Stripes to make it look more attractive.
There’s even a display dedicated to the Iceland National Handball Team, that won the Silver Medal in the Beijing Olympics in 2008. In their honor, there’s a display case with 15 silver members (they would have been gold had Iceland won the gold). It was a bit controversial, as the team didn’t sanction it:
The artist who fashioned the piece, Thorgerdur Sigurdardottir, said she made it as a favor for her father, Sigurdur Hjartarson, the founder of the museum, which bills itself as “the only museum in the world to contain a collection of phallic specimens belonging to all the various types of mammals found in a single country.”
When her father asked Sigurdardottir, 44, for a contribution that would honor the handball team, “I thought, ‘OK, I will do a bunch of men with dicks,’ ” she said in a phone interview. But then she decided to dispense with the men’s nonpertinent (from the museum’s perspective) body parts. “I thought, ‘OK, it’s a phallus museum, so I’ll just make, you know, phalluses,’ ” she said.
So, whose phalluses are they?
“I didn’t have any models,” she said. “I just made them from experience.”
You can read about the penis museum and get a glimpse of the specimens here. (Personally, I think that the Homo sapiens penis, via the link I just posted, looks like a replica of Yoda.)
Falling sperm counts
In related news, in a few places in the world, scientists have noticed that the number of sperm/ml of ejaculate has decreased.
Studies in France, Denmark, Argentina and the US have shown that samples from men have shown lower sperm counts, sometimes much lower counts.
Danish researchers may have found that there is a link between increasing consumption of dietary saturated fats and the lower sperm counts.
One has to give Reuters kudos for the image they posted alongside saturated fat sperm count story.
Hey, this just gave me an idea for a new concessions stand at the museum…