Global warming caused by pesky pro-choice women, religious right leader says

The good news: Global warming is real. The bad news: It’s the fault of those darn feminists.

You see, climate change is God’s wrath on mankind, we learned from two religious right leaders this week. And in particular, it’s the fault of those pesky pro-choice women.

So you might as well bring back the cheaper albuterol and stop paying your mortgage, because man didn’t create climate change, God did.

Or so claim God’s meteorologists, evangelical leader David Barton and his recent guest, televangelist Kenneth Copeland (video below).

Kenneth Copeland

I once told a lie that was THIS big.

You see, as the Lord’s weathergirls tell it, abortion is the main cause of all the recent hurricanes and polar ice cap melting madness.  But drugs and suicide are also ticking off the Eternal SnowMeister to the point where he’s causing “drought” and “rain” and other weather extremes to show his unhappiness with us.

I do have to say I was somewhat disappointed not to hear that gay people were also partly responsible for the change in the weather.  I’m kind of enjoying the fact that here in DC we’ve gone up at least half a zone, if not an entire zone, in terms of our summer planting season.  And I do grow a mean hydrangea, that I was hoping my fellow sodomites could take credit for.  But alas, I’ll have to credit this year’s blooms to the husband-murdering lesbian witches over at Planned Parenthood. Some girls have all the luck.

As wacky as it is, Barton and Copeland’s theory is the same one that Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson used following 9/11: If you tick God off too much, he’ll remove his protection from the earth and wipe you out, à la Noah (well, à la everyone-else-but-Noah).

Here’s Barton with more:

“Whap, here comes storms like we’ve never seen before, and here comes floods, and here comes climate stuff that we can’t explain; all of the hot times and all the cold times and not enough rain and too much rain, and we’re flooding over here and we’ve got droughts over here… And today we’re saying ‘oh no, it’s global warming.’ No, we opened a door that lost God’s protection over our environment and that’s our choice”

As you’ll recall, Falwell and Robertson got into more than a spot of trouble when they blamed 9/11 on liberals:

JERRY FALWELL: And, I know that I’ll hear from them for this. But, throwing God out successfully with the help of the federal court system, throwing God out of the public square, out of the schools. The abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked. And when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad. I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way – all of them who have tried to secularize America – I point the finger in their face and say “you helped this happen.”

PAT ROBERTSON: Well, I totally concur, and the problem is we have adopted that agenda at the highest levels of our government. And so we’re responsible as a free society for what the top people do. And, the top people, of course, is the court system.

Evangelicals have a thing about blaming the weather on God, or more specifically, God’s wrath.  And it seems gays are particularly good at both ticking off God, and conjuring up a good storm.  Our specialty is hurricanes.  Gays, you might not have known, were responsible for Hurricanes Isaac, Sandy, and Katrina.

Per Robertson, Haitians are also pretty good at the storm thing too.

And unless you really like rain, you seriously never want to go on vacation with a gay Haitian feminist.

Follow me on Twitter: @aravosis | @americablog | @americabloggay | Facebook | Instagram | Google+ | LinkedIn. John Aravosis is the Executive Editor of AMERICAblog, which he founded in 2004. He has a joint law degree (JD) and masters in Foreign Service from Georgetown; and has worked in the US Senate, World Bank, Children's Defense Fund, the United Nations Development Programme, and as a stringer for the Economist. He is a frequent TV pundit, having appeared on the O'Reilly Factor, Hardball, World News Tonight, Nightline, AM Joy & Reliable Sources, among others. John lives in Washington, DC. .

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  • fletcher

    Was the girdle’s brand name PrayRex?

  • maria

    Sometimes to so-called God’s Chosen get theirs. Televangelist Rex Hubbard was using the money the elderly were sending him for “missionary work” to buy businesses. I’m not sure if it was God’s punishment but he bought a girdle business just at the time women were starting to reject the tight squeezing undergarment. The business bled so much money Hubbard had to file for bankruptcy and sell off his other assets. But on the way down, one could be entertained by Hubbard at odd hours on UHF TV stations as his found a way to inject into every sermon how good Christian women wear girdles 24/7.

  • cleos_mom

    The pious of today would forego the public humiliation part. Too bad. The entertainment possibilities are intriguing.

  • cleos_mom

    Contortions of logic are inevitable for anyone trying to reconcile a Creator of the entire universe with a god who’s oddly preoccupied with one tiny planet — and, at that, was apparently unaware of the existence of pretty much everything outside the Mediterranean region until recently. Anthropomorphic gods were a cinch until a few centuries ago; now you need quite a big rig to pull that sucker up the hill.

  • Mike_in_the_Tundra

    I agree with John on this one. I’ve always felt so empowered by the disasters attributed to gays. Well, I guess we can share the spotlight for a while.

  • UFIA

    This man needs help.

  • Good grief, these people are morons.

    Whap, here comes storms like we’ve never seen before, and here comes floods, and here comes climate stuff that we can’t explain….”

    Apparently, these idiots don’t understand that science can explain why this is happening.

    I can only gather that, by their logic, any time that we have a gorgeous spring day, that God is pleased? Even if someone gets into a horrid car wreck and they die on that beautiful day, that God is pleased that particular day?

    Oh yeah, they have an answer for that, too. God had to call that person “home.” Of course, he didn’t do it by the most innocuous manner possible – like “calling them home” in their sleep – no, he had to do it in the most painful and traumatic way possible.

    These contortions of logic make my head hurt.

  • jomicur

    And he was a junior high school science teacher at a Christian school in Texas (I don’t want to know what constitutes “science education” in a Christian school) and either left or was dismissed. I’ve never been able to find out which (not that I’ve looked that hard). Until then, he never claimed to be a historian, but once he needed a new scam, er, job, bam! expertise in history! Apparently if you’re a good Christian you can become credentialed and “credible” in any field you want, just by praying or something. Don’t need none of that there fancy book learnin’.

  • LanceThruster

    Could Kenneth Copeland *be* any more of a horse’s ass?

  • Etoain Shrdlu

    Did anybody happen to notice that God struck Jerry Falwell dead? God will not be blamed for floods and droughts.

    Very Crankily Yours
    The New York Crank

  • 1tehamawhiteneck

    Well heck, we all knew that. Least ways that is what I tell my lady friend when things go wrong on my little ranch. If you women had just not decided to eat that apple, life would have been great. And I can duck really fast!

  • rmthunter

    You know, it must be kind of scary to live in a universe governed (and micro-managed) by a short-tempered, mean-spirited, arbitrary god. No wonder “Christians” are afraid of everything.

  • Bomer

    So what happens if pro-choice feminists and gay people join forces? Do we get to summon Captain Planet?

  • You mind sending a small one our way? We have a ton of autumn-dropped birch leaves in our front yard.

  • judybrowni

    Those tornados?

    Totally from my cooze.

  • EdA

    And to show his appreciation for the self-declared God-fearing, God has bestowed upon the slave states of the Confederacy most infested with fundamentalist Christianists disproportionate numbers of hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, droughts, wildfires, and each other.

  • pappyvet

    My heart bade me to leave you another little something ;]

  • pappyvet

    And to you and yours!

  • pappyvet

    Bright blessings and all the joy our Mother may bestow

  • doug105

    No its his words in his book.

  • crazymonkeylady

    God will not be mocked? I’ve been doing it a lot lately and he hasn’t stopped me yet! Haw-Haw!!!

  • debbieqd

    Wish I could get into God’s mind to know what He thinks of these charlatans — hating in His Name. All I can think of is Jesus in a rage turning over the moneychangers’ tables with coins flying everywhere.

  • Yep, that’s him. Except he didn’t need the Founding Fathers to write any of it down, because Barton has been more than happy to manufacture it out of fairy dust and his own anal aerosol emissions for them.

  • Monoceros Forth

    As usual the Lord has terrible aim. Or perhaps He is like a vicious gym teacher who goes after the slow kid by punishing the whole class cos he knows the other kids will take revenge on the misfit.

  • Whitewitch

    Ruining Scotch is okay since it tastes kinda icky anyway…pass the Bushmills.

  • Whitewitch

    Heheheh…that is exactly right…can you call the two buttheads in this story and advise them of this “change in the wind”.

  • Whitewitch

    Sizzle is what we got! And hot is what we like!

  • Whitewitch

    Peace be with you pappyvet…and as my sisters below have said…merry meet and merry part…

  • Monoceros Forth

    I confess that it’ll always be Hallowe’en to me; there’s something evocative to me about that name. (Always spell it with the apostrophe. Always.)

  • Monoceros Forth

    Oh, that guy! The one who claimed to “prove” that the Founding Fathers really honestly for gosh’s sake without a doubt that they really meant the United States to be a fundie Protestant nation even though they neglected to write this down anywhere official?

  • cole3244

    its not the charlatans like these that disgust me its the flock that live their lives based on this utter nonsense.

  • “Blasphemy!” Becca sez, as she sips her 16 year Lagavulin.

  • emjayay

    You don’t live in the Bible Belt, do you. OK, neither do I, but anyway there is a segment of Americans whose whole world view is about this kind of stuff, called Fundamentalist Christians. Fundies. If a bit more political, Dominionists. They may be adults, but I wouldn’t call them intelligent.

  • emjayay

    But….but….Scotch on the Rocks…..

  • 2patricius2

    Yep. According to these people, their god of love is a sadistic, mass murderer.

  • Merry meet and merry part, and merry meet again.

  • I saw that. Thanks dear.

  • pappyvet

    LOL ! Left you a blessing Sis

  • vickif

    Right on Whitewitch.

  • vickif

    And to you.

  • That’s what you get for ruining perfectly good Scotch by adding ice! ;-)

  • Indigo

    So that’s where NOW went.

  • pappyvet

    Don’t know about climate change but Armageddon makes a damn fine fabric softener…..I think its Armageddon? Its Arm and something I’m sure……hell with it pass the pizza.

  • Indigo

    Blessed be!

  • Indeed!!

  • Gotta love the notion that hot women cause Climate Change and Armageddon.

  • pappyvet

    Well….this seems to be a good enough place to declare so….

  • pappyvet

    Damn Sis ! I knew the ice in my Scotch was melting quicker than it should ! So it was you ladies all along !

  • Dave of the Jungle

    Hey, don’t cloud the issue with facts.

  • Dave of the Jungle


  • Contrarian

    We’re almost through the Atlantic Hurricane season with only one lone hurricane that didn’t even make landfall in the U.S.

    The only logical conclusion is that God loves us for re-electing Barack Obama

  • Dave of the Jungle

    Enter { Kenneth Copeland Airport, Newark, TX } into Google Maps or Google Earth.
    Zoom out to find the south end of the runway.
    His mansion is due west of that end of the runway on the lake shore.
    Looks like a nice boat dock and tennis courts.
    See, the Prosperity Gospel works real well, if you’re on the receiving end of all the donations.

  • Barton’s degree is a bachelor of arts in religious education from Oral Roberts U. It’s no wonder the entire world is a mystery to him.

  • Oh my goodness… I knew this name was familiar.

    This is the same David Barton who:

    – Had his book “The Jefferson Lies” pulled from publication after being determined to be… well, nothing but unsourced lies.

    – Published another book whose title should’ve been a dead giveaway, “Unconfirmed Quotations” — which was full of manufactured BS quotations he attributed to the Founding Fathers.

    – And was taken apart by Jon Stewart in a rather memorable Daily Show interview from 2011 (caution about the link: all of the video embeds auto-play).

    – Constantly shills himself as a ‘historian’ even though he has no education or training in it, and is in fact a graduate of Oral Roberts University (sic), with a BA in ‘religious education’ in 1976.

  • emjayay

    “And clmate stuff we can’t explain…” Well of course maybe you can’t. But scientists an, and have.

  • Whitewitch

    Now BeccaM – you know we were supposed to tell about the bake sales…rats! Now they won’t buy our cookies…

  • Whitewitch

    Rats Ladies – we have been found out. Figured it would be fun for the guys to experience Hot Flashes and Cold Spells….sorry – we didn’t mean any harm.

  • Sorry, yeah… it was us. We had a good run of getting the righteous to blame gay people, but the truth is we women got tired of asking for the thermostat to be turned up, so we took matters into our own chilly hands.

    Gosh, but don’t we feel foolish now, having been found out. I mean, it was amazing that day, way back…well I forget how far back, because women have been having abortions for millennia. Anyway, we discovered we could raise the temperature of the entire planet just by having a few measly abortions. And so we got to work, getting pregnant on purpose, over and over, and having our secret abortion fund-raising bake-offs, just to cause a scoatch of global warming and… whoopsie-daisy! Went too far!

    (Yeah. Asshat, all the way. What’s really sad is there are people out there who believe the BS he’s peddling and gladly asking for more.)

  • BillFromDover

    Talk about a bunch of hot air.

    BTW, did these asshats just admit that (whatever the reason – repent ya Sodomites!) the planet is warming and this is responsible for the fucked-up weather?

    Praise the Thor!

  • Chef Kowalski

    I’m wondering who Barton was aiming his message at. Not intelligent adults. His explanation for super-unusual weather makes as much sense as telling first graders that a thunderstorm that occurs right after recess was God’s wrath because the boys were still acting rowdy from playing dodgeball while lining up to return from recess to the classroom. If anything, it makes thinking people doubt the intelligence of so-called religious leaders.

  • Max_1

    Theirs is but a choice of judgement in the face of God who commanded them to NOT judge…
    … Their Savior called them hypocrites. Will they even listen to His Word?

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