Girl Scout cookies turn girls into commie, man-hating, abortion-loving lesbians

Girl Scout cookies will turn you into a communist, man-hating, abortion-loving lesbian who thinks it’s acceptable for women to compete with men in the workplace. And in the minds of America’s religious right bigots, it most certainly is not.

The religious right has long had issues with the Girl Scouts because, unlike the Boy Scouts, the female arm of the organization has a lower tolerance for intolerance. While the Boy Scouts would kick you out for being gay, or an atheist, the Girl Scouts were always far less interested in preparing America’s children for jihad.

So it comes as no surprise that, yet again, certain religious right leaders are rallying against the organization and its cookies. Though, as befits the religious right, they just can’t avoid crossing the line of crazy.

Marx, Engels and Trotsky, in better days. (dnaveh / Shutterstock.com)

Marx, Engels and Trotsky, in better days. (dnaveh / Shutterstock.com)

Thanks to People for the American Way’s “Right Wing Watch,” we have the audio and transcript of one Kevin Swanson, a religious right pastor, who is hell-bent against the cookie because, per Swanson, the Girl Scouts will turn your little girl into a lesbian who doesn’t know her place (which is solidly behind, not alongside, her man):

“The individualism of feminism has been devastating to this country. I’d say you ought to say no the Girl Scout cookies too. I don’t want to support lesbianism, I don’t want to support Planned Parenthood and I don’t want to support abortion, and if that be the case I’m not buying Girl Scout cookies.”

Not to put too fine a point on it, but I’m having a hard time understanding the link between lesbians and abortions.  I mean, how often do lesbians have unwanted pregnancies?  (Though obviously, rape is an issue, among others.)

Swanson goes on to note that the Girl Scouts, and particularly their cookies, apparently, somehow add to the scourge of male unemployment in America, or something:

“Are you trying to create a woman who is going to compete with men in the marketplace, or are you trying to create a woman who will be a helpmeet to a man so that he can compete in the marketplace? Those are vastly different goals.”

Swanson goes on to explain that the Girl Scouts are creating women with “the independent mindset.” And apparently that independent mindset sets girls up to be commies:

“I think we understand why Barack Obama is President of the United States. He is incredibly popular with single women, incredibly popular. In fact, if you want a communist in the White House in the year 2020 you have got to get more daughters raised with the worldview, the independent mindset, the worldview that is presented by the Girl Scouts of America.”

Swanson goes on to “prove” a tie between the Girl Scouts and abortion. How? Because the Girl Scouts held a conference in Houston, and the mayor of Houston, Annise Parker, attended (duh).  And Parker is a lesbian.  And her girlfriend works for Planned Parenthood.  So this proves categorically that “apparently there is this unholy alliance between the Girl Scouts and Planned Parenthood.”

And to small minds, I’m sure it does.


Follow me on Twitter: @aravosis | @americablog | @americabloggay | Facebook | Google+ | LinkedIn. John Aravosis is the editor of AMERICAblog, which he founded in 2004. He has a joint law degree (JD) and masters in Foreign Service from Georgetown (1989); and worked in the US Senate, World Bank, Children's Defense Fund, and as a stringer for the Economist. Frequent TV pundit: O'Reilly Factor, Hardball, World News Tonight, Nightline & Reliable Sources. Bio, .

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  • regine91

    Find out how to make 35 usd per day from your home!! go to surveymoneymaker dot net

  • Moderator3

    To whom are you addressing this? Did you read the article?

  • Girlscoutdefender

    Excuse me, but girl scouts is supposed to be an organization where young girls learn to be better people. I was one until I graduated from high school, and earned my Gold Award. Those girls selling cookies are children! I sure don’t recall anything about sex being part of our badge work or interest trips, so why would sexual orientation play any role? Most drop out by high school, long before they become sexually active.

  • commie, man-hating, lesbo.

    Seriously, I am embarrassed and ashamed for you Rev. Grow up bro, pretty sure the little girls selling those cookies have something more enlightening to preach.

  • Angst in Berwyn

    Forgive contrarian. He is only reading from the Protocols of the Elders of Schmuckdom.

  • clarknt67

    “start treating their vaginas like clown cars” OMG. Oy.

  • Diana

    The Girl Scouts are not an arm of the Boy Scouts. They are completely separate and always have been.

  • Bartley Burnside

    Anise porker is a fat lesbian that hasn’t done shit for Houston.

  • Bartley Burnside

    Man, I wish I could get me some of that lesbian beaver

  • Me

    LMAO………….perfect response to a perfectly crazy Swanson rhetoric! :)

  • Alecta

    *applauds Fanraeth*

  • Alecta

    OMG Gigglesnort!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    What? You’re serious? Um, 21st century calling…

  • contrarian

    omigod! It’s now politically incorrect to call cookies Samoas? Well in that case let’s stop using the terms ‘Chinese food’, ‘French cooking’, ‘Italian specialties’, ‘good German beer’, etc.

  • Moderator3

    To whom are you addressing this?

  • contrarian

    The pastor exaggerates as badly as Rachel Maddow but he’s on the right track. Can there be any doubt that feminists have brought pressure to bear on the Girl Scouts and tried to move the organization in what they consider to be a progressive direction? Historical Christianity has upheld distinct if overlapping roles for men and women and condemned extra-marital sex. The French and Bolshevik revolutions aimed to disestablish both Christianity and the traditional family. Sexual equality and the marginalization of the family have always been promoted by communist leaders in the earlier phases of social reconstruction, before the revolution goes stale or gets co-opted. Women’s lib, gay lib, abortion are for better or worse ideas that communists have promoted and Christians until recently have opposed. Intolerance is universal; the argument is over who decides what not to tolerate.

  • Jack S

    get a real life and get over your bad childhood with parents that didnt give you enough love.

  • TPaign

    In the audio, Reverend Swanson directs us to use a “black magic” marker to cover the girl scout logos on the cookie boxes.
    Is he saying that using witchcraft is ok for fighting crypto-communism?

  • silas1898

    No thanks. I only eat ketchup on fries and I don’t eat many fries anymore.

  • Coral Capettini

    Be an ultimate government leech: marry a republican man and sit around the house all day while he works to pay for all of your stuff! Weeeee!

  • Ramey

    Apologies if this was already posted, but a friend who worked for PP wanted to clarify that it’s “actually not the Mayor’s ‘girlfriend’ but her life partner and the First Lady of Houston doesn’t work for Planned Parenthood, she is a proud board member and the treasurer of the PP Gulf Coast Action Fund PAC.”

  • Marcy Runkle

    On it.

  • Jess

    Actually there are two cookie bakers Girl Scout councils can choose between. One of which has funny names like Do-Si-Dos and Tagalongs and Samoas, the other baker calls them Peanut Butter Sandwiches, Peanut Butter Patties, and Caramel DeLites. I’ve never heard about any controversy regarding Samoas not being politically correct…?

  • Dan Alvírez

    Nobody is going to stand in the way of my do-si-dos. I don’t care how many dead fetuses litter the streets and how much flannel I see in the closet.

  • Cynthia Gurin

    The vegetable classification was correct but the amount was off. Nobody is going to eat enough ketchup/catsup for it to qualify in a school lunch program as a full serving of vegetables. As for the vegetable classification, it takes a whopping 25 pounds of tomatoes to make seven 8oz jars of ketchup. Want to make some yourself? Go here: http://www.pickyourown.org/ketchup.htm#.Umfipcj5jzM

  • Once a Scout

    I don’t have time to go through all the comments, so this may have been answered, but regarding the concern/complaint that the Girl Scouts are not politically correct with their “Samoas” cookies, that HAS been addressed. The popular Samoas are now called Caramel Delights! From a proud “Sister to All Girl Scouts!”

  • tlmar

    Must be that there are no women who will touch this Kevin freak. What a hoot! These folks get more insane by the minute!

  • silas1898

    Thanks. Sounds like you survived OK :)

  • silas1898

    I bailed when back Reagan wanted to classify ketchup as a vegetable to cut costs in the school lunch program and busted the air traffic controllers union.

  • TiffanyinTexas

    a lot of it goes back to 1 Corinthians 11:7 and a lot of non-fundies basically believe this too. Only men are the image of god..

    he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man

  • Thom Allen

    You should have phrased it, “Some of my best friends are Samoans” to emphasize the fact that you’re not racist and you are empowered to speak for ethnic Samoans everywhere.

  • Thom Allen

    Thanks, I kinda figured that. It’s just that his “arguments” (ravings) aren’t related to each other at all and make no sense. Maybe if you have the christianist background you can automatically fill in the blanks and make the appropriate connections. It’s knod of like the word salad that schizophrenics make.

  • Fanraeth

    I don’t know much of anything about this guy, but I was raised in fundamentalist Christianity, so I can translate Crazed Christianese. Basically, these people believe that God created women to exist for one role only, which is that of the “helpmeet” aka stay-at-home mom. Women are to totally submit to their husbands and if they don’t have a husband, then they must submit to their fathers. Going out and getting a job is both rebelling against the natural authority of men as well as neglecting your duties at home. Because feminism can essentially be stated as “Hey, guys, women are people too.” fundies are utterly opposed to it because they believe that women are inferior to men. They blame feminism for abortions, the rise of single-parent homes, increase in crime, increase in the divorce rate, and lesbianism. They think that women not constantly bowing and scraping to men caused some sort of mystical imbalance in the universe which causes all of these things and that if women would just get back in the kitchen and start treating their vaginas like clown cars, everything would go back to normal and we would be living in Leave it to Beaver 1950s style America again.

  • judith

    Still a Girl scout. My dad my be right wing but he’d call this guy a nut job.

  • Carissa Marks

    and where do you think they came from? Samoan’s would be the people, Samoas…not so much…did you go to school with that fake preacher??

  • Commie loving lesbian/GSA

    I’ll take a case, please.

  • Commie loving lesbian/GSA

    You can’t make this shit up. Seriously.

  • Collean

    Oh hell no! That would fuck up our time. Lets build an island and leave them on it. Isolate the contagion and let it burn itself out.

  • Collean

    It’s disquieting because you see it for what it is. In order to get the slave he wants he is willing to blind a woman to any choice other than what he wants. Abusive, to say the least.

  • Collean

    You may have went off in weird directions, but at least it was your choice. and when you didn’t like that path you switched another…. also your choice.

  • Bill Gibbs

    Why is Kevin Swanson so afraid of women?

  • Collean

    If a woman has an independent mind she won’t buy into the bullshit they sell as christianity. She won’t accept being told that her place is in the home bearing 19 or more kids. She won’t fight to be educated or have her daughters educated. She won’t assert herself and expect equality. She will be the perfect slave to be used and tossed away at will. An independent mind will never accept this.

  • Collean

    Being a former Girl Scout, I buy just as a pay it forward for all the people who bought cookies from me that allowed me to go camp for free (yeah I was a real hustler at cookie time), travel to cultural events and meet so many other girls that I would not have had a chance to meet had I not been in the Scouts. :)

  • DamOTclese2

    That’s what they get for using “dark” chocolate.

  • Don Julio

    And speaking of Samoas, I personally know several Samoans who do NOT find that tasteful. Way to perpetuate racism in America, GSA

  • Don Julio

    Damn right, and these girls aren’t even baking their own cookis. Disgraceful

  • Cynthia Gurin

    So here’s the question…WHY on earth are you still a Republican? The rest of us bailed when our party nominated W and we realized there had been a coup and a simple minded puppet was being installed as a figurehead. It’s gotten progressively worse. Do you seriously want to be judged by the inane TeaPublican company you keep? Those people are seen as ignorant, misogynistic, bigoted, knuckle-dragging troglodytes.

  • Erin Kathleen Sands

    Bwahahaha! :D

  • Bill Murray

    This man makes me embarrassed to be a Republican. If anyone has ever seen The Newsroom and studied the Taliban you will know that Will McAvoy wasn’t far off. Next this asshat will be saying that girls shouldn’t be allowed in school because it prevents boys from concentrating due to women being inherently sexual and trying to distract men.
    WAKE UP AMERICA!!!!!!

  • tnja

    Well said!

  • Jimmy

    Personally, I’ve found Girl Scout cookies to be overrated and not that good, but I may have to buy a dozen just for the hell of it.

  • BillFromDover

    An independent mind?

  • Zorba

    Yes, they have. I allowed my daughter when she was young to join the Girl Scouts (although she did get bored with it after a few years and decided to join 4-H, but then, we live on a farm).
    I never allowed my son to become a Boy Scout.
    If anyone has a Camp Fire group available to them, I would also highly recommend them. They have been co-ed from the mid-1970′s, and are very, very inclusive.

  • vickif

    Samoas are my absolute favorite. And now that they are in my supermarket I can buy them when ever I go shopping, which I do.

  • vickif

    I don’t know where you live but in my area-west of Chicago-girl scout cookies are now being sold in our supermarkets so we can have them any time we want and I do buy a lot of them since they are so good.

  • vickif

    i have hated that woman ever since she came to Illinois and convinced so many people to vote against the ERA.

  • vickif

    You hit the nail on the head. I hate doing housework as it is in my own home let alone do housework at someone else’s house.

  • Thom Allen

    I’ve read through Swanson’s quotes twice. They’re barely coherent. Is is some kind of biblical christianist code that only the anointed can decipher? “Individualism of feminism”? Why can’t a woman compete in the marketplace AND help her spouse? How has feminism been “devastating to this country”?

    I guess he stopped short of really getting extreme and saying that the Girl Scouts will be coming to take out guns, too. And, of course, they’d be in favor of immigrants and Obamacare. And raising the minimum wage.

  • Thom Allen

    GASP Almost sprayed Pepsi through my nose!

  • gsingjane

    I was just wondering why this article wasn’t illustrated with a picture of U.S. Girl Scouts, though.

  • Thom Allen

    No, “indoctrinate little girls from toddlerhood . . .” that’s much too late. It has to be, “indoctrinate from fetushood . . .”

  • Thom Allen

    Great visuals, thanks. I’ll take two boxes of the Same-sex Samoas, please.

  • cole3244

    i would say to the religious right, have you no honor people.

  • cole3244

    that’s what i was thinking, whats not to like.

  • LanceThruster

    I’m laughing already. Get the Art Dept. in here, STAT!

    xD

  • Monoceros Forth

    Someone with actual skill in graphic arts should make up some fake photographs of commie, man-hating, abortion-loving cookies. You could have the new Girl Scout “Sickles” (red velvet cookies, of course, imprinted with the hammer and sickle); the “Veneres” (linked “Venus” ring-shaped cookies); the “Roes and Does” (shaped like the Planned Parenthood logo); and of course the “Pink Triangles”.

  • Whitewitch

    Wow the trinity in a different light.

  • Monoceros Forth

    But you’ve still got the problem with the New Testament being written at least a hundred years after the events supposedly took place.

    True, though the are generally accepted historical events recorded even longer after the fact. So far as I know, however, nobody insists on the literal truth of (say) Plutarch’s Lives.

    As I’ve mentioned elsewhere the textual history goes back a little further for Paul’s epistles than for the Gospels. So possibly we have an odd situation: the Gospels, which are supposed to describe events occurring before Paul’s Damascene conversion, may have been written later.

    And that still doesn’t begin to deal with the logic part of it :)

    Oh, very true. It is one thing to say, “This text is probably not too corrupt,” and quite another to say, “This text literally describes actual events;” it is an even more radically different thing to say, “This text is the only source of meaningful knowledge.”

  • LanceThruster

    Girl Scout cookies turn girls into commie, man-hating, abortion-loving lesbians

    You say that like it’s a bad thing.

    xD

  • mirror

    Yes, the explosion of palm oil plantations in their current form has been wildly destructive.

  • http://www.newmillgay.com/ The_Fixer

    True, like the modern English translations that are basically reworked old English.

    But you’ve still got the problem with the New Testament being written at least a hundred years after the events supposedly took place. Any account of something that has been verbally passed down for 100 years is pretty much untrustworthy. Especially in the time period it was supposed to have happened. They didn’t even know that the earth was not the center of the universe, and only knew that fire worked, but not much of why.

    And that still doesn’t begin to deal with the logic part of it :)

  • Monoceros Forth

    I think you’ve got a slight misconception here. While there certainly has been no lack of lazy, untrustworthy translations based off other translations far removed from the original sources, we still can, at least with the New Testament, turn to original sources–or, at least, sources not too far removed in time from the events they purport to describe. Fragmentary manuscripts have been found dating back to the 2nd century. Indeed the task of producing a reasonably good reconstruction and translation of the New Testament is considerably easier than the job of reconstructing many other works from the same era; all translations of Tacitus’s historical work, for example, are derived from a tiny handful of manuscripts, most dating back to the 15th century, one dating back to the 11th century.

  • http://www.rebeccamorn.com/mind BeccaM

    It’s the language of prairie dresses and bonnets.

    And as for why ‘create’ bothers you? It’s because it’s a stand-in term for the word “indoctrinate.” As in, “indoctrinate little girls from toddlerhood that females are meant to serve men and be subservient at all times to them.”

  • http://www.rebeccamorn.com/mind BeccaM

    There are actually a fair number of women who say stuff like this, too — most of them rank hypocrites. If you’d care for a sampling, just Google “Phyllis Schlafly”, a woman who fought hard against the Equal Rights Amendment and has spoken often about the proper place for women to be at home, pregnant and raising kids — while she herself was a professional attorney and had a career.

    Her position, for instance, has been that it’s not possible for a wife to be raped by her husband, because sex is his right.

    Women’s equality has enemies all over the place, unfortunately.

  • http://www.rebeccamorn.com/mind BeccaM

    We make for crappy servants and sex-slaves if we think for ourselves.

  • Bomer

    Individualism is great, just so long as your aren’t a woman. After all woman are property and belong in the kitchen.

    Seriously, every time I hear some guy using the phrases “helpmeet” and “complementarianism” I know they don’t see women as actual people and only as property.

  • http://www.newmillgay.com/ The_Fixer

    Yes, I am aware of the faulty chain-of-translation associated with “the good book”.

    It’s one of the reasons I don’t believe it. Another being the whole logic thing.

  • http://www.newmillgay.com/ The_Fixer

    What was really weird is that they both chose Catholicism as a middle ground between their conflicting religions. I guess neither one of their religions featured mean, abusive nuns, a drunken pastor and an oppressive theology.

  • woodroad34

    Quelle coinkydink….anyone who doesn’t find that fool attractive has to be a lesbian. I’ve met many women who arrogantly think the same about men. Quite the sign of insecurity and/or immaturity.

  • Bomer

    Yup it comes from Genesis 2:18 (I looked it up in my dictionary).

  • woodroad34

    Girl Scout cookies are waaaaaay better than a stinking ol’ toaster anyways. Score one for our side! Yaaaay!

  • http://www.americablog.com/ Naja pallida

    The Girl Scouts have always sought to be more inclusive than exclusive, and teach children things like tolerance and care for one’s fellow human beings. You know… the exact opposite to Christianist “Conservatism”.

  • Monoceros Forth

    Ah! Very interesting and entirely credible. I note with interest that the translation I have, a New Catholic Edition from the ’50s, uses the phrase “a helper like him”. (Yeah, I finally had to look it up.) Jerome’s vulgar Latin translation says, “adiutor similis eius”, which basically means the same thing, and Jerome was working from (in part) from Hebrew texts and not the Greek Septuagint.

  • Monoceros Forth

    The pun, it hurts!

  • johnsnare

    What the heck is wrong with a female having an independent mind.?

  • Whitewitch

    It is a bit shocking to me. Glad you were able to get the C out….

  • Whitewitch

    I think I might understand that …..I wandered many a twisted and turned path…however, using them as an example of what NOT to do worked very well for me in developing a moral compass…even dabbled a wee bit in the Christian movement of the late 70′s – it was crystal clear though that it was as bad at giving one a moral compass as my parents….it has been a very delightful journey though and quite eye opening.

  • caphillprof

    “God” didn’t use the phrase “help meet”, it was some English translator who either wasn’t very good or had an agenda. See http://womeninthescriptures.blogspot.com/2010/11/real-meaning-of-term-help-meet.html I’m not asking you to believe the nonsense, just understand the terminology. A lot of American problems stem from a bad English translation of the Old and New Testaments.

  • Monoceros Forth

    My own folks, while far from the worst parents in the world, made many mistakes in raising me; they, too, imparted on me no religious beliefs. Would you believe I’m not sure that this was a good thing? It perhaps led me, once I was free from their influence, to go off in a number of weird directions. But really this isn’t the place to go into that messy subject.

  • John Masters

    I clicked through to find, to my utter astonishment, it was a man saying this. Who would have guessed. [/snark]

  • BillFromDover

    So now, before purchasing these decadent treats from the lovely sweet young things on my porch, I should first ask them their humping preferences?

    Can’t we alleviate this mess by simply adding two new cookies: mons mound mints and peanut prick passion and let the invisible hand of the free market decide?

  • http://www.newmillgay.com/ The_Fixer

    Yes, they do say these things, and believe them, too!

    At least your parents did one thing right. My parents weren’t great, but they did do some things right. I did, however, have to spend years pounding Catholicism out of my head.

  • judybrowni

    If that’s so, sign me up for two boxes of the Thin Mints.

  • http://www.newmillgay.com/ The_Fixer

    Ha! I really can’t be bothered looking at a book which doesn’t interest me either.

    But it seems to me that it may come from Genesis, the part about the creation of Eve.

    I’d also be willing to bet that “biblicism” is correct. The root would be “biblical”, I’d think. But I have no credentials to say that.

  • BillFromDover

    “Religious delusion…”

    Not to mention the absolute certitude of these asshats.

  • Whitewitch

    People don’t really say these things do they…and more importantly there are not really people that believe this right? Please someone tell me this is a weird April Fools joke in the middle of October – Pleeeeeeeeeeesssssssse….

    My parents were absolutely the worst parents in the world, however I am now saying this is the one thing they did well – which was to not raise us as Christians…thanks Mom and Dad.

  • MoonDragon

    I always thought it was “helpmeat” as in “help a man with his meat” so that he wouldn’t be all tuckered out from takin’ care of his own business.

  • http://americablog.com magster

    google palm oil and orangutangs. Supposedly there are now eco-friendly palm oil farms, but sounds like BS.

  • BillFromDover

    “…comes from the olde English translation of the bible.”

    Fuckin’ evildoers!

  • Monoceros Forth

    I only sort of recognized it as a Biblicism (or should that be Biblicalism? Is there a word analogous to “Anglicism” or “Grecism” to refer to words borrowed from the Bible?) I couldn’t tell you where it’s from chapter and verse, not without looking in a concordance, and I just can’t be bothered :p

  • Monoceros Forth

    Indeed? I hadn’t heard about that. Palm oil is very useful because unlike most vegetable oils a high proportion of its fatty acid glycerides are saturated. It will withstand high temperatures and resist the air-oxidation that leads to rancidity. The only other vegetable oil I know of with similar properties is coconut oil and I imagine that its cultivation leads to similar environmental problems.

  • http://www.newmillgay.com/ The_Fixer

    Well, of course “helpmeet” comes from the olde English translation of the bible. Not that I have to tell you that :)

    These folks like the Middle Ages so much, I propose we pool our resources and invent a time machine to send them back there.

  • Monoceros Forth

    I read this to my mate and he said simply, “More Thin Mints for me.”

    It’s the, “[We should] create a woman who will be a helpmeet to a man so that he can compete in the marketplace,” passage that really astonishes me. There’s no sugar-coating on that statement: women shouldn’t be working at all. (Because it’s so easy for a family to live on one salary these days innit?)

    “Helpmeet”. Who uses that word? My own usage of words tends toward the flowery and even occasionally toward the archaic, but “helpmeet”? I suppose it must derive from the obsolete adjective “meet”, meaning “proper” or “fitting”.

  • Leanna Harrow

    Even God’s got to be laughing at this guy! I grew up eating Girl Scout Cookies and turned out to be none of those things. If I go to hell, it will not be for eating Girl Scout Cookies. Seriously?…Religious delusion is arguably the most prevalent and potentially dangerous form of mental illness to ever have plagued humanity…

  • ArthurH

    I swear some Christian ministers have too much time on their hands. Otherwise why would they continue to violate the Commandment “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor”? Wasn’t it Christian ministers who claimed Proctor & Gamble’s Man-in-the-Moon logo (a classic bit of Victorian art) was a symbol of the devil and that the company was supporting Satanic churches? Wasn’t it Christian ministers that accused the Walt Disney Co. of distributing LSD on temporary tattoos featuring Mickey Mouse as the Sorcerer’s Apprentice? Wasn’t it Christian Ministers who claimed the owner of the Tampa baseball team was promoting Satanism by naming his team the Devil Rays (since shortened to the Rays)? And wasn’t it Christian Ministers who ruin funerals for diseased military veterans by yelling and waving placards claiming they were killed by God in protest for use allowing gay people and abortions. I guess it is better than doing useful work that benefits society. And a good incentive to live a life good enough to get into heaven. If you end up in the other place you’ll have to rub elbows with these Christian ministers for eternity!

  • dcinsider

    Some people are just mentally ill.

  • maria

    Go get ‘em, Wonder Girl!

  • http://americablog.com magster

    I never get invited to anything fun…..

  • http://americablog.com magster

    If the girl scouts crusade to have palm oil removed to help protect orangutangs had been successful, the girls would have graduated from lesbian abortionists to full on disciples of Satan.

  • bergamot

    I thought individualism was a sacred trait among right-wingers, in part because individualism is the antithesis of communism. So, how can an organization like the Girl Scouts and their nefarious cookies promote both individualism and communism. I’m so confused.

  • milli2

    One would think that if you loved abortions, you wouldn’t also be a lesbian. Call me crazy.

  • CarolStrick

    More cookies for us, thanks!

  • NorskBamse

    OMG, I was there too.
    I was standing next to the booth selling Lenin Lemonades, Mao Zedong Dulce de Leches, Ho Chi Minh Thin Mints and Stalin Samoas.

  • quax

    My wife was big into Girl Scouts, she also happens to be an Atheist (not that the Scouts have anything to do with it). But what I always found ironic is that without trying, and purely by chance she hit all Christianists womanly virtues. She actually didn’t have a boyfriend before she met me. After she ended up marrying me, we properly procreated having three kids, and due to the fact that I pull a good salary, and it’s hard to get a job in her line of work (she’s a double base player), she also happens to be a stay-at-home mum.

    Girl Scouts clearly ruined her for family life.

  • http://heimaey.us/ heimaey

    So weird I just got back from a lesbian vampire orgy where we burned bibles and guess what – it just HAPPENED to be sponsored by the Girls Scouts!

  • keirmeister

    Oh sweet heavens! Right-wing religious people are nuts. Whatever. Besides, those Samoas are The Bomb! They could be made from the tears of Octopussy’s elite lesbian military, I’m still going to eat them until I pass out.

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