GOP state senator tries to de-gay Aristotle, Alexander the Great

New Mexico State Senator Bill Sharer -- obsessed about gays

New Mexico State Senator Bill Sharer — can’t stop obsessing about The Gays

Meet New Mexico State Senator Bill Sharer (R-obviously), representing the far northwest Four-Corners district that includes the town of Farmington — a district filled with thousands of brand new fracking wells and thousands of abjectly poor Navajo people worried their meager water supplies will soon be poisoned.

Former Taco Bell manager, now New Mexico Senator, Bill Sharer has an obsession. Can you guess what it is?

No, it’s not the environment or jobs. Sharer’s obsession is The Gays, don’t ya know.

And The Gays have been freaking him out ever since he took office in January 2001.

Homophobic remarks available on-demand

When the news sites want a quote from someone who opposes New Mexico’s late-blooming Summer of Love gay marriages, Sharer is their guy. He can always be counted upon to produce a nicely apocalyptic sound-bite. Like this one:

“Does the legislature with the consent of the governor make the law or is this now the wild, wild, wild, west where each judge makes his or her own law?” asked Sharer.

Because ‘wild, wild west’ wouldn’t have been scary enough. Or something. (Honestly, maybe it’s me, but I’m hearing three snaps and a twist in that triply repeated “wild,” y’know what I’m saying?)

Or this:

“(T)he whole idea of a representative government of the people, for the people and by the people is gone,” he laments. “And no matter where you stand on any issue, you should be scared to death of this new way of making laws.”

Or this one, in which Senator Sharer demonstrates his ignorance of the role of the judiciary in government, as well as history and NM state law:

“It is inexplicable how a district court just today discovered a new definition of marriage in our laws, when our marriage law has not been changed in over a century.”

Sorry, Senator, but marriage law changed quite a bit in 1973 when Section 18 was enacted in the state constitution:

No person shall be deprived of life, liberty or property without due process of law; nor shall any person be denied equal protection of the laws. Equality of rights under law shall not be denied on account of the sex of any person.

That’s right: New Mexico has had an Equal Rights Amendment since 1973. How’s that for progressive?

Hating the gays for his entire legislative career

NM Senator Sharer apparently handles snakes, too, in his spare time. Why? No clue.

When he’s not blogging or failing to pass yet another anti-gay marriage amendment, NM Senator Sharer apparently handles snakes in his spare time. Why? Perhaps to see if anyone can tell them apart.

For years now, he’s been trying over and over and over to enact a constitutional ban on marriage equality in New Mexico — and failing miserably every time. Needless to say, what started in Doña Ana county and is spreading like wildfire throughout the state is making him a wery, wery unhappy widdle Senator. He’s referred to the Doña Ana county clerk as a “little dictator.”

Anyway, for the last few weeks, ever since the same sex marriages began in New Mexico, he’d been threatening legal action “very soon.” He’d also said he has “nearly 30” GOP legislators with him for the challenge.

Friday’s late report (8/30): They finally did file their challenge. His “nearly 30” GOP legislators turned out to be seven, including himself.

So what’s their cunning plan legal strategy for all those New Mexico counties issuing same sex marriage licenses — Doña Ana, Santa Fe, Bernalillo, San Miguel, Valencia, and Taos — with Los Alamos now also ordered by the courts to do so? Obviously they’ll try to stop all of them. Their crack legal team must’ve found some way, some angle to argue that since the state itself doesn’t yet recognize same sex marriages, the current bunch of district judge rulings must be flawed or premature in some way, right?

Nope. Their legal strategy for dealing with all those fallen dominoes is only to attempt to re-stand the first one, Doña Ana county. Their court challenge makes no mention of any of the rest.

At this point, Sharer’s legal team is making Boehner’s DOMA-defending BLAG lawyers look like Atticus Finch.

Senator Sharer attempts to blog – hilarity ensues

Okay, now for the fun: It seems Senator Sharer has decided he wants to be a blogger, too. He even has a site for his blog, on his campaign website.

To say his site is crude is an understatement. I haven’t seen a blog — or an entire personal website — this primitive since MySpace.

Right now there are just three posts, the first of which is dated on August 23rd. All of them are on his favorite obsessive topic: Gay marriage and how much he hateses it. (Gollum!)

It gets better. His inaugural post, titled “Why Marriage?,”  is a long, rambling screed full of grammatical errors, grade school formatting, and word-salad writing in general. In the post, he rewrites all of human social history in a brimming bucket-of-FAIL attempt to prove that marriage always was one man, one woman, and only for breeders, across all cultures, everywhere. (I’m guessing he’s not all that familiar with the Old Testament either, other than the gay-hating and genocide bits.)

Alexander & Hephaistion -- Gaydar pinging even through the marble

Alexander & Hephaestion — Gaydar pinging massively, even through the marble

The truly hilarious part is when he attempts to de-gay Aristotle and Alexander the Great, both of whom have long and well-documented histories of having inseparable male lovers.

Here’s a small taste:

Alexander the Great (356-323 BC) married a Bactrian woman – modern day Afghanistan.  Alexander may have engaged in homosexual activity, but he married a woman.

He directed his officers to stop “whoring” around and find a local woman to marry.

WHY?

BECAUSE

“It is only through blood relations that hatred and war will end”.  In other words, Alexander the Great thought that marriage was about creating and raising the next generation. 

Alas, as with New Mexico state law, Senator Sharer gets his history all wrong. (I also love the junior high style shouted “WHY? BECAUSE”!)

First of all, he seems to have no clue regarding the difference between political marriages and those for love, chosen freely. Those forced, arranged marriages of Alexander’s officers weren’t for breeding or love, nor to reduce ‘whoring around‘, but to compel the creation of a legal bond between conquerer and conquered peoples. (And by the way, many of those officers already had one or more wives; this was just piling on.)

As a sign of just how successful those forced marriages were, nearly all of Alexander’s officers divorced immediately after their king’s death. Heck of a ‘sacred, universal institution,’ huh?

And Sharer completely ignores the fact that when Alexander the Great married Stateira after the Battle of Issus, he also — in the customs common at the time — married her cousin, Parysatis, while still married to his first wife, Roxana. In other words, polygamy! With a steaming hot slice of Hephaestion always and constantly at his side.

Sharer also attempts to co-opt:

It’s a hoot how much he gets completely wrong.

Anyway, if NM State Senator Sharer (R-DoofusExtraordinaire) is the best the anti-gay opposition can muster in New Mexico, I think the pro-equality side has good reasons to be optimistic for the future of gay marriage and LGBT rights here.


Published professional writer and poet, Becca had a three decade career in technical writing and consulting before selling off most of her possessions in 2006 to go live at an ashram in India for 3 years. She loves literature (especially science fiction), technology and science, progressive politics, cool electronic gadgets, and perfecting Hatch green chile recipes. Fortunately for this last, Becca and her wife currently live in New Mexico. @BeccaMorn

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