Why is this GOP congressman afraid of gay cross-dressing Satanists?

That is our secret plan, you know. First we legalize gay marriage, then we steal your dogs, then your guns, then we go to church and worship Satan in drag.  This gem of a quote comes from a Tea Party conference call with GOP Congressman Louie Gohmert (R-Texas (where else?)), who’s never at a loss for words.

Gohmert is the brainiac who wants guns to be permitted on the US House floor.

Gohmnert is also the guy who came up with the idea of “terror babies.” Daniel Schulman at Mother Jones explains:

Recently, Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Tex.) has beens sounding the alarm about a new and insidious plot involving so called “terror babies.” Infants are sometimes known to be terrors in their own right, but this diabolical plan involves terrorists sending pregnant women into the US to birth their America-hating spawns. The mothers and their kids then return home where, the congressman says, the children “could be raised and coddled as future terrorists”— and later, “twenty, thirty years down the road, they can be sent in to help destroy our way of life.”

Or even worse, we could have gay terror babies — terror gaybies.

Like I said, Texas.

Back to bestiality.  Gomert was asked during the Tea Party conference call about gun control, and here’s what he had to say:

Love the rouge, Louie.

Love the rouge, Louie.

In fact, I had this discussion with some wonderful, caring Democrats earlier this week on the issue of, well, they said “surely you could agree to limit the number of rounds in a magazine, couldn’t you? How would that be problematic?”

And I pointed out, well, once you make it ten, then why would you draw the line at ten? What’s wrong with nine? Or eleven? And the problem is once you draw that limit ; it’s kind of like marriage when you say it’s not a man and a woman any more, then why not have three men and one woman, or four women and one man, or why not somebody has a love for an animal?

There is no clear place to draw the line once you eliminate the traditional marriage and it’s the same once you start putting limits on what guns can be used, then it’s just really easy to have laws that make them all illegal.

RightWingWatch has the audio too, but it’s not embeddable.

Earlier in the call, Gohmert explains how Obamacare will force churches to hire cross-dressing Satan-worshippers (seriously).  RightWingWatch has that audio too, go to their site to check it out.

Follow me on Twitter: @aravosis | @americablog | @americabloggay | Facebook | Instagram | Google+ | LinkedIn. John Aravosis is the Executive Editor of AMERICAblog, which he founded in 2004. He has a joint law degree (JD) and masters in Foreign Service from Georgetown; and has worked in the US Senate, World Bank, Children's Defense Fund, the United Nations Development Programme, and as a stringer for the Economist. He is a frequent TV pundit, having appeared on the O'Reilly Factor, Hardball, World News Tonight, Nightline, AM Joy & Reliable Sources, among others. John lives in Washington, DC. .

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  • Then there’s Awhnt in up Maine.

  • DGT

    That’s how the pronounce it in the south. I grew up in Texas, and I still remember my first grade teacher telling us that “ain’t” isn’t a word. I argued that it was … I had my Ain’t Marie and Ain’t Eileen. I had no idea that the word was aunt, not “ain’t”

  • DGT

    I have friends in family in Texas. Recently there was a post on Facebook (I saved the screenshot) about Gohmert. The poster said he was “brilliant”, a “true Christian” and should be president. At least a couple of dozen others “liked” it and/or posted comments of agreement.

    It’s scary, but he really does represent his constituents’ views.

  • Tor

    If cousins can’t marry (in many states) why would they allow siblings to marry? The slippery slope has many treads.

  • Tor

    The Mormons will eventually flip on marriage equality, just like they flipped on polygamy and African Americans in the priesthood. Unlike the Catholics, they do not like controversy. And their phone connection to god is more up to date.

  • Tor

    They would not vote for him today. Too liberal.

  • Tor

    Is that the name of the place? I always heard it as Mont Pielah. Never understood. And why did they call Bea “Ain’t?”

  • And Smurfs!

  • No, no, no…that’s for vampires. That might work for Pat, but how’s that going to help save us from Zombie Reagan? And you know he’s coming because the GOP are always trying to bring Reagan up again…

  • That sounds like the plot for the next Terminator B-series sequel.

  • silas1898

    Don’t forget Tinky-Winky. Pat Buchanon never will.

  • TuxedoCartman

    I’ll be sure to quote this guy next time I’m pulled over for speeding. “Why 70 mph? Why not 55? Or 130?”

  • arcadesproject

    Well, ah, isn’t everyone afraid of gay cross dressing Satanists? No? Did I hear you say ‘No’

  • The scariest thing of all? There are actually people who think to themselves, “Y’know, I’m voting for Louie Gohmert because he’ll make a terrific Congressman, one who believes in all the same things I do!”

    (And yes, one could substitute the name of just about any bat-shit insane GOPer for whatever high elected office and experience the same dismay. Bachmann, King, West, Cruz, Santorum, Palin, etc.)

  • Stev84

    Complete with the psychopath eyes. He is truly one of the most crazy congressmen. This is hardly surprising.

  • SkippyFlipjack

    “OMG! Once you legalize ONE THING, you need to legalize EVERYTHING! I wish our country had some sort of system of evaluating laws so, like, when they write a law that says you can drive on the highway, people don’t start driving skateboards, sled dogs or goddamn Boeing 747s on the highway! I don’t want to have to avoid 747s on the goddamn highway!”

  • I take comfort that during the burial someone unknown tossed a clove of garlic in the coffin at the last minute.

  • But…but…that doesn’t make sense! The more crazies on the street, the more Republican voters you have available…

  • Nah, they couldn’t be cousins or they’d a been married already…it’s a rule!

  • It’s catch-22 — if you want to be a career politician, you’ve already admitted that you are nutz!

  • Forced? Forced! Nay, and I say unto you, that the Republican District has rejoiced to have such a clear-headed thinker representing their every wish…

  • Actually, if you check you’ll discover that the stuff they’re spewing is WHY they’re voted in. (They’d spew a different tune if that was what it took…)

  • The actually did that in Oklahoma (don’t know why you wanna pick on Texas when Oklahoma is right there across the northern border — wait, that’s it, isn’t it? Oklahoma is NORTH of Texas — why, it’s all a Yankee plot!)

  • The images in my head — oh the horror! Mommy, make it stop…

  • What has become of your compassion? He was married to Pat, wasn’t that punishment enough?

  • LOL…..You are so right. God bless his lil’ pea pick’n heart, cause god only knows he ain’t got no brain.

  • Speaking of drag—-The Spawns of Satin, which the hysterical right refer to we GLTBQ is mostly an honorary society with duties chiefly composed of the occasional parade, charity event, and community service. It is true, however that the devil is in the details.

  • Yep, old Ronney Reagan created thousands of sidewalk housing beds for the mentally ill and homeless in California. If there is a hell Reagan deserves a luxury suite.

  • It’s hard to imagine any bi-ped more stupid than Gohmert, but (R) Virgina Fox gives him a run for the money. They even look like—-cousins maybe?

  • OMG, I didn’t know his wife was in the closet!

  • And produce mutants called, ‘The Hills Have Eyes.’

  • Or why not Kermit and Ms Piggy—-cross species love! Or Sponge Bob and Pinky, or S&M 3-way relationships like Mr. Bill, his dog and Mr. Hands?

  • GoBlue

    Gohmert needs to go on a double date with his cousin Goobert and get laid by the fun girls from Mount Pilot.

  • In the Libertarian universe, everyone is equally free to suffer in Hell.

  • Louie Gohmert: Texas’ version of Michelle Bachmann.

  • There are offshoots, for example, ‘The Tea Panties.’ They are like lady Shriners.

  • And the Catholics call the Baptists ‘sacrament-denying apostates destined for Hell.’

  • devlzadvocate

    My name is Louie Gohmert and I am a republican from Texas . . . ’nuff said.

  • (Double post.) I find myself wondering about this “Tea Party conference call”. Is the “Tea Party” actually, you know, real? I thought it was just a sort of inconsistently applied label.

  • And the irony of that! They are a little off their heads, like their namesake.

  • But Gomert is evolving: from mouse to gopher.

  • Indeed! Better than anything I’ve thought up. I’ll have to use it some time.

  • Naja pallida

    Yep. Gohmert’s district used to be solidly Democratic. Before him, the last Republican to hold it was in the Reconstruction Era after the Civil War, and he only held it for a single term. Gerrymandering has turned it into a solidly Republican district, that basically has been forced to have an idiot represent them.

  • nicho

    The GOP started its downward spiral as soon as they closed the mental institutions. You could look it up.

  • sane37

    gerrymandering is why

  • Ninong

    North Carolina has an app for that. They will nullify the First Amendment and establish their own state religion. That way they will be able to ban gun control or gay marriage, or maybe just gays in general, because it will be against their state religion, which will be based on those passages from Leviticus that they like.


  • cole3244

    can we give texas back to mexico, would mexico take it, oh well texas is now the crazy uncle in the attic no body admits is a relative.

  • Badgerite

    Say what now? No clear place to draw the line? Well, first there is human vs non-human. That seems a pretty bright line distinction to me. Then there is many spouses vs one. Also clear. Close dependent familial relationship vs independent functioning, consenting adults. Clear. And vulnerable child vs grown adult predator. Also clear. How do these people get through their day if they cannot make simple distinctions like this?

  • Well, the Baptists call Catholics Satanists.

  • Okay that’s funny

  • Stev84

    Crazy eyes

  • MyrddinWilt

    Yet more evidence for what Atrios calls ‘Generation Lead’

    Leaded fuel made a lot of people a lot stupider than they needed to be. Poor children living in the inner cities turned to crime and ended up in jail. Kids of richer parents turned to Ayn Rand and Rush Limbaugh and the type of church that preaches the wealth gospel.

  • Once you outlaw same-sex marriage, what’s to stop “them” from going on to ban heterosexual marriage as well? The “slippery slope” has got to be my favorite fallacy!

  • slappymagoo

    Denying the Republicans anything they want, whatever “it” is, is like allowing polygamy. And it’s like Hitler. And Satan.

  • John isn’t that what he have been doing all along? We all know my liberal church secretly is satanists because there is no such thing as a true liberal Christian. I know I haven’t dressed in drag since I was a kid playing house but hey, I’m up for it after reading this article if it pisses off the GOP.

  • Drew2u

    Bless the little pile’s heart and I – (feel like I’m going to sound like a broken record before long) – sincerely hope he learns to forgive himself


  • emjayay

    In fact, I had this discussion with some wonderful, caring Democrats earlier this week on the issue of, well, they said “surely you could agree to speed limits on the interstate, couldn’t you? How would that be problematic?”And I pointed out, well, once you make the speed limit 70, then why would you draw the line at 70? What’s wrong with 40? Or 20? And the problem is once you draw that limit ; it’s kind of like marriage when you say it’s not a man and a woman any more, then why not have three men and one woman, or four women and one man, or why not somebody has a love for an animal?

  • Drew2u

    With fixed elections that these representatives never have to worry about being voted out of office, they can spew whatever they want and the rigged districts will still vote them in.

  • FLL

    Gomert, no doubt, goes to some tragic Southern Baptist church where the congregants try to give the Pentecostalists some competition by handling snakes and speaking in tongues. But he must think that these non-discrimination laws will force his congregation to allow the Roman Catholic hierarchy to perform services in his Southern Baptist church. Well, Catholic bishops and cardinals clearly are cross-dressers, and that’s just an honest assessment of the vestments that they wear in public; who knows what they wear in private. And their rather ego-centric behavior (legal, quasi-legal and illegal) could qualify them as Satan worshipers.

    So what have we here? A congregation of functionally illiterate, junk-food-addicted Southern Baptists in Texas would have to attend a service performed by Satan-worshiping Catholic bishops wearing their customary drag outfits (I mean, vestments). So these non-discrimination laws actually encourage ecumenicalism among Xtianist morons. Well, isn’t that special? Maybe they could all pig out on Chick-fil-A and get type 2 diabetes together while they’re singing Kumbaya.

  • One question:

    Do the people that continue to elect this Neanderthal have any idea about the absolute craziness he constantly vomits?

    Then again, are they not in Texas?

    Jesus Christ in a cross-hair, no wonder they are against background checks!

    OK… so make that two questions.

  • It must be a treacherous and uncertain world inside the head of a Republican congressman, unsteady on the brink of countless slippery slopes. Seriously, by the kind of reasoning seen here, we shouldn’t have any laws at all.

  • And the GOP wonders why they are not being elected or why the young people are not joining them.
    If they are going to change they will have to make all possible candidates pass a few tests.
    They must pass a basic GED test and see a counslor to make sure they are not crazy.

  • Christian_Party_NOT_GOP


  • ChristineIam

    “GOP Rep. opposes gun control because gay marriage leads to bestiality, Obamacare & cross-dressing Satanists http://bit.ly/Z85tAR” @[email protected]

  • Indigo

    And the MDs worry about cholesterol while psychopaths roam free. We have the worst health care system in the world! Oh, wait, insanity is not a health problem for the psychos that surround us. I almost forgot.

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