Bacon condoms (seriously)

Bacon condoms, yep.  An American company (God bless American innovation) has created the bacon condom.  It looks just like bacon, and if you use their bacon-flavored lubricant, it even tastes like bacon.

I’m not kidding.

The company, J&D’s, says that of the 5 billion condoms sold worldwide every year, none look or taste like bacon.  Until now.

bacon-condom

Actual picture of the bacon condom unwrapped.

The company announces that the condoms are “proudly Made in America,” because you wouldn’t want some cheap foreign knock-off bacon condom.

bacon-condom-wrapper

The bacon condom wrapper.

As for the bacon-flavored lubricant, it’s apparently a lubricant and a massage oil.  I love a good massage, and I love bacon.  I’m not however convinced that I’d want to have bacon-scent rubbed all over me.

Interestingly, the company says that the idea did in fact originally start as an April Fool’s joke.  But they had so many people write in interest, that they decided to create the product for real.  Unlike Scope’s bacon-flavored mouthwash that was indeed an April Fool’s joke that apparently a lot of people didn’t get.

I’ll give them credit for taking something that can kill you and melding it with something that can save you.

Oh, and you vegans can put your minds at ease, the company notes that the bacon lubricant, and I suppose the bacon condom as well, are “vegan-safe.”  Well, that’s a relief.

And once you’re done enjoying your bacon condom, make sure you bacon floss (wish I were kidding, I’m really not):

bacon-floss And just in case all that bacon activity kills you, the bacon condom company also sells a bacon coffin for $2,999.99.

bacon-coffin

The description is, understandably, a bit odd:

Is there a better way to show your love of bacon forever than to be buried wrapped in it? We don’t think so.

This genuine bacon casket is made of 18 Gauge Gasketed Steel with Premium Bacon Exterior/Interior, and includes a Memorial and Record Tube, Adjustable Bed and Mattress and Stationary and Swingbar handles. It also includes a bacon air freshener for when you get that buried-underground, not-so-fresh feeling.

There are all sorts of unusual caskets out there – motorcycles, PBR cans, iPhones, tanks, Star Trek themes and more. We think that your final resting place deserves the eternal glory that is bacon.

No returns accepted.

No returns accepted because, you know, that would be gross.


Follow me on Twitter: @aravosis | @americablog | @americabloggay | Facebook | Google+. John Aravosis is the editor of AMERICAblog, which he founded in 2004. He has a joint law degree (JD) and masters in Foreign Service from Georgetown (1989); and worked in the US Senate, World Bank, Children's Defense Fund, and as a stringer for the Economist. Frequent TV pundit: O'Reilly Factor, Hardball, World News Tonight, Nightline & Reliable Sources. Bio, .

Share This Post

  • HoJo

    What woman, or man, would want a bacon encrusted wiener inside of them?

  • http://twitter.com/ThePlatznerPost Irwin B. Platzner

    Mmm Bacon!!! :) Great idea, or Gross??? “Oh, and you vegans can put your minds at ease, the company notes that the bacon lubricant, and I suppose the bacon condom as well, are “vegan-safe.” Well, that’s a relief.” If you feel the same please “Like” The Platzner Post on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ThePlatznerPost, and follow us on Twitter https://twitter.com/ThePlatznerPost.

  • http://adgitadiaries.com/ karmanot

    That looks like a model of a colon.

  • eahopp

    I was thinking the same thing when I read the post.

  • eahopp

    Just make sure you’re not wearing your bacon condom near your dog.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Daniel.Raymond.Spencer Daniel Spencer

    If you wore it, would it be called a bacon dog?

  • AdmNaismith

    If I want bacon, I’ll eat bacon.

  • Clecinosu

    Everything is better with bacon?

    Eh, not so much.

  • Mike_in_the_Tundra

    I’ve heard that particular clown is a birther.

  • d3clark

    Next month, they’re introducing Canadian bacon as a cervical cap.

  • d3clark

    Do they make a Turkey Bacon Condom for those trying to cut down on fat in the diet? Can’t say you’re “makin’ bacon” anymore if you’re waring one of these.

  • hollywoodstein

    I’ve seen what bacon does to people who like too much bacon, eww.

  • http://AMERICAblog.com/ John Aravosis

    I’m not sure I’d want to confuse the dog, as it were ;-)

  • http://poodyheads.wordpress.com/ zorbear

    It makes me shudder. I’ve seen what people who like bacon do to bacon…

  • http://poodyheads.wordpress.com/ zorbear

    I laughed so hard I had to change my pants…

  • JamesR

    AWESOME. So much more appropriate than banana or strawberry or the problematic chocolate…

    Not to jack the thread, but it might also be the ideal condom to use on your honeymoon with your dog. http://www.towleroad.com/2013/04/irons.html

  • http://adgitadiaries.com/ karmanot

    Especially one selling Big Macs.

  • TuxedoCartman

    There needs to be a warning label on those bacon flavored condoms. “WARNING: known to cause bi-curiosity!”

  • http://AMERICAblog.com/ John Aravosis

    LOL

  • pigboy

    American innovation at its very finest and tastiest …………………. It makes me proud to think we are leading the world again in something…………. I know years from now the Russians will be claiming they were the ones to first invent this………….. but we will know better. Yes we will! ………… I need a flag to salute :)

  • http://www.thoughtcrimes.org/ Kelvin Mace

    Why am I skeptical?

    The condom is “out of stock”. Someone call me when they actually get their hands on the product.

  • Mike_in_the_Tundra

    The only worse thing I can think of is a condom with a picture of a clown.

  • Naja pallida

    Just don’t wear them around the dog.

  • http://twitter.com/ptelder Kenneth Brown

    Personally, I think it unfortunately tastes more like SPAM.

  • http://AMERICAblog.com/ John Aravosis

    And I have to admit the picture grossed me out too.

  • http://www.rebeccamorn.com/mind BeccaM

    Sorry, but this one earns an enthusiastic “Ewww!” from me. ;-)

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