NRA warns Americans to arm selves for imminent zombie apocalypse

The head of the NRA is warning all Americans to get their guns ready, because the end is nigh.

In a bizarre piece in the conservative Web publication Daily Caller, NRA chief Wayne LaPierre warns that President Obama and Democrats, if not directly causing the end of the world, will at the very least sit by and watch it happen, so true American patriots need to get their guns nows to get ready for the coming apocalypse.

Oh how I wish I were exaggerating. Here’s LaPierre:

It has always been sensible for good citizens to own and carry firearms for lawful protection against violent criminals who prey on decent people.

Translation: We made gun laws so lax that now every criminal has a gun, but please ignore how we got to this point.  More LaPierre:

During the second Obama term, however, additional threats are growing. Latin American drug gangs have invaded every city of significant size in the United States. Phoenix is already one of the kidnapping capitals of the world…

NY Daily News on NRA[T]he border today remains porous not only to people seeking jobs in the U.S., but to criminals whose jobs are murder, rape, robbery and kidnapping. Ominously, the border also remains open to agents of al Qaeda and other terrorist organizations. Numerous intelligence sources have confirmed that foreign terrorists have identified the southern U.S. border as their path of entry into the country.

When the next terrorist attack comes, the Obama administration won’t accept responsibility. Instead, it will do what it does every time: blame a scapegoat and count on Obama’s “mainstream” media enablers to go along.

A heinous act of mass murder—either by terrorists or by some psychotic who should have been locked up long ago—will be the pretext to unleash a tsunami of gun control.

Translation: Please ignore the fact that the last time we “got hit” big by Al Qaeda on September 11, 2001, the NRA-types in the Bush administration wouldn’t let us check the FBI database to see if any suspected terrorists had bought guns. From the NYT, December of 2001:

The Justice Department has refused to let the F.B.I. check its records to determine whether any of the 1,200 people detained after the Sept. 11 attacks had bought guns, F.B.I. and Justice Department officials say.

The department made the decision in October after the F.B.I. asked to examine the records it maintains on background checks to see if any detainees had purchased guns in the United States.

Yes, in the immediate aftermath of September 11, when we were pretty much willing to sell every constitutional right to the highest bidder, the one thing we wouldn’t do is check whether detained suspected September 11 accomplishes had bought a gun.  Because that would have impinged on their constitutional right to murder 3,000 Americans.

Oh, and the NRA apparently now believes in global warming, Hurricane Sandy was not an aberration.  Again, from LaPierre:

After Hurricane Sandy, we saw the hellish world that the gun prohibitionists see as their utopia. Looters ran wild in south Brooklyn. There was no food, water or electricity. And if you wanted to walk several miles to get supplies, you better get back before dark, or you might not get home at all.

Okay strike what I said at the top of the story, the NRA’s LaPierre is in fact blaming the zombie apocalypse on President Obama (big surprise there – the NRA has a thing for attacking Democrat, though they’re not partisan, really, I mean it).  LaPierre:

Meanwhile, President Obama is leading this country to financial ruin, borrowing over a trillion dollars a year for phony “stimulus” spending and other payoffs for his political cronies. Nobody knows if or when the fiscal collapse will come, but if the country is broke, there likely won’t be enough money to pay for police protection. And the American people know it.

Hurricanes. Tornadoes. Riots. Terrorists. Gangs. Lone criminals. These are perils we are sure to face—not just maybe. It’s not paranoia to buy a gun. It’s survival. It’s responsible behavior, and it’s time we encourage law-abiding Americans to do just that.

Bra-vo, Mary.  Bra-VO!

And here’s my favorite part of LaPierre’s piece, and it’s also one hell of a “tell” from the NRA:

Responsible Americans realize that the world as we know it has changed. We, the American people, clearly see the daunting forces we will undoubtedly face: terrorists, crime, drug gangs, the possibility of Euro-style debt riots, civil unrest or natural disaster.

Gun owners are not buying firearms because they anticipate a confrontation with the government. Rather, we anticipate confrontations where the government isn’t there—or simply doesn’t show up in time.

Did you catch that?  Someone is awfully paranoid about the growing public perception that gun nuts simply want their guns so they can overthrow the government.  And despite the NRA’s claims to the contrary, scratch a gun nut and the first, or at most second, thing he’ll tell you is that he needs his guns to stop government tyranny.  He won’t tell you it’s about stopping the zombie apocalypse, he’ll tell you that it’s the only way to stop America from becoming Nazi Germany or the Soviet Union.  And I got news for you, he’s not talking about Nazi Germany’s hurricane response.

Don’t take my word for it.  Here’s the NRA’s Wayne LaPierre in a book he wrote, discussing the potentially imminent mass slaughter of gun owners by the government (not by a hurricane or by looters).  Via Media Matters:

In his book, America Disarmed: Inside the U.N. & Obama’s Scheme to Destroy the Second Amendment, NRA CEO Wayne LaPierre likened the United Nations Small Arms and Light Weapons Destruction Day, held on July 9, 2001, to Nazi propagandist Joseph Goebbels’ order that books authored by Jews be publicly burned.

LaPierre then suggested that the burning of guns could “help set the stage for mass executions of gun owners” just as Goebbels’ order precipitated the mass killing of Jews.

July 9 was not the first time bonfires were lit to destroy resistance to the power of the government. Nazi “Germany’s Josef Goebbels ordered all Jewish books to be burned in public in May 10, 1933. University towns were centers of Jewish Books Destruction Day.” As the Völkischer Beobachter (Populist Observer) reported on May 12, 1933, “The German student body of the Berlin universities assembled yesterday for a torchlight procession on Hegel Platz. They formed up, accompanied by a truckload of 25,000 books and writings harmful to the people. The procession ended at Opera Platz where as a symbolic act, these un-German writings were set aflame on a pile of logs.”

The burning of Jewish and un-German books was followed within a few years by the burning of Jews and other supposedly un-German people. Jewish Books Destruction Day helped change popular consciousness so as to pave the way for genocide. Likewise paving the way for genocide was the systematic disarmament of Jews and all other opposition elements, in Nazi German itself and in conquered territories.

How long until a U.N.-declared official day of hate is celebrated with governments actually killing people? [America Disarmed: Inside the U.N. and Obama’s Scheme to Destroy the Second Amendment, Pages 106-107]

LaPierre concluded by asking, “Will the mass burning of firearms help set the stage for mass executions of gun owners?” [Page 108]

Right. Gun nuts aren’t stockpiling weapons in preparation for a violent confrontation with the US government. I don’t know where we got that idea? Oh that’s right, from James Yeager, the CEO of Tactical Response, a Tennessee company that specializes in weapons and tactical training, who posted a video on Facebook and YouTube the other month, detailing what he’ll do if President Obama issues any executive orders on gun control:

“I”m not f’g putting up with this… if it goes one inch further, I’m gonna start killing people.”

(H/t Crooks and Liars)

Here’s a bit more from that proud defender of the Second Amendment, James Yeager, who is “not buying firearms because he anticipates a confrontation with the government”:

People are asking me what they should do.  I don’t know, but I did tell you to load your mags, make sure your gun’s clean, and pack a backpack.  If you haven’t done that, then don’t call me and ask me what to do next….

End of the word, via Shutterstock

End of the word, via Shutterstock

People are saying stuff like, ‘it needed to be said, but you shouldn’t have said it.’  Well, look around.  Who else is gonna say it.  Who else is gonna say it.  And all you f’g fair-weather Second Amendment people who are telling me that I’m doing a f’g disservice to the gun community, that I’m not gonna stand for the tyranny, f-you. Our country wasn’t founded by f’g fair-weathered pussies….

If you’re not prepared to go all the way, then you’re not prepared to go anywhere….

I don’t condone anybody doing anything rash.  I do not condone anybody committing any kind of felonies, up to and including aggravated assaults or murders, unless it’s necessary.  Right now it is not necessary.

And I understand that my video was very volatile. You have no idea how many people that sent me emails and texts and called me and was like, ‘right on, my shit’s clean, my bag’s packed, you tell me when and were.’  You have no idea how quickly I accidentally assembled an army. I assure you, a quite formidable army. But now is not the time, it’s not time yet. It is time to get ready. Start working out.  Start stretching,  Start practicing.  Start talking with your friends, coordinating on a local basis.

I don’t really know what to say to do next.  I’ve a wait and see attitude about the whole thing. But I stand fast with my message.  I have drawn my line in the sand.  Not one more inch.

Silly me.

Follow me on Twitter: @aravosis | @americablog | @americabloggay | Facebook | Instagram | Google+ | LinkedIn. John Aravosis is the Executive Editor of AMERICAblog, which he founded in 2004. He has a joint law degree (JD) and masters in Foreign Service from Georgetown; and has worked in the US Senate, World Bank, Children's Defense Fund, the United Nations Development Programme, and as a stringer for the Economist. He is a frequent TV pundit, having appeared on the O'Reilly Factor, Hardball, World News Tonight, Nightline, AM Joy & Reliable Sources, among others. John lives in Washington, DC. .

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