Bulletproof backpack sales skyrocket

It’s the perfect Christmas gift: A bulletproof backpack for the child you love.

And Mother Jones reports that sales for bulletproof backpacks are booming post- Sandy Hook.

Here’s how it works.  If you’re an Israeli child, maybe.  But for an American kid, this oughta scare the bejeesus out of any kid who gets this as a present (though I do wonder if it wouldn’t help, psychologically, some of those kids who survived Sandy Hook – I’m not sure I’d ever go back to school again).

Screen Shot 2012-12-19 at 1.39.14 PM

A company called Amendment II is selling a Disney “Princess” bulletproof backpack (one wonders if Disney actually approved of this).

Avengers bulletproof backpackDisney Princess at Heart bulletproof backpack

I suspect they may be re-selling the standard Disney kid’s backpack with a bulletproof liner that a number of companies advertise, like this one:

bullet proof packpack insert

Yes, they have a “Happy Hippo” style of bulletproof backpack insert for your kid.

I decided to search around for what else was available, bulletproof backpack-wise, and there’s actually quite a lot.

Here’s another video, showing the backpack in use, blocking bullets – useful for when your child is the victim of a mass-shooting while bound and suspended from a beam with creepy painted-on John Travolta hair:

And what if they shoot at the kid’s head?  Glad you asked. They have portable notebook binders too:

bulletproof kid's notebook binder

I suppose this is so that your kid can lift her or her notebook and deflect the bullets, Wonder Woman style:

wonder woman deflect bullets

And here’s Wonder Woman in action, showing how America’s children can protect themselves with backpacks made of “feminum.”

And why stop there?  They have cool bulletproof clothing, for adult men and women interested in that Tasha Yar/Israeli secret service look:

bulletproof clothing Screen Shot 2012-12-19 at 1.10.18 PM

They also have designer armor for a night on the town (I wonder if the armor makes her back bend like that):

designer armor

Do people still think our country doesn’t have a serious problem?

bulletproof back pack ad


Follow me on Twitter: @aravosis | @americablog | @americabloggay | Facebook | Google+ | LinkedIn. John Aravosis is the editor of AMERICAblog, which he founded in 2004. He has a joint law degree (JD) and masters in Foreign Service from Georgetown (1989); and worked in the US Senate, World Bank, Children's Defense Fund, and as a stringer for the Economist. Frequent TV pundit: O'Reilly Factor, Hardball, World News Tonight, Nightline & Reliable Sources. Bio, .

Share This Post

  • hollywoodstein

    Freedom!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003315324254 Al Tinsley

    Experts on our local news made it very clear that these would not stop the bullets currently for sale, only heavy swat grade plates would be capable of doing that. The backpacks might stop one bullet but not multiple shots as was experienced at Sandy Hook.

  • freshacconci

    I really shouldn’t have laughed at that…

  • nicho

    Look at all the people who made money off of selling parachutes to office workers after 9/11.

  • nicho

    Well, we could teach the kids to use the Roman “turtle formation.”

    http://www.menrising.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/roman-turtle-formation.jpg

  • http://www.facebook.com/jkusters John Kusters

    Assuming that such a thin layer of protection would actually stop a bullet, it would do very little to negate the bullet’s kinetic energy. A bullet or two to that backpack and a typical child would be bowled over, exposing him or her self to the next bullet to come along. They’re selling fiction as protection, and I hope no parent ever learns that the hard way.

  • UncleBucky

    And like the Easy-Bake Oven up to now, feminum, it’s only for gurls. Boys who want to wear bracelets of feminum will be teased until they fight back with deadly force in Wonder Woman drag (maybe?)

  • UncleBucky

    Right! And if the kid carries a backpack like this, the kid will have a chance to shoot back at Dad before Dad aims for the ski mask-covered head. :-/

  • UncleBucky

    So! Now, what caliber and design of bullet can get through this? And where can people buy a few boxes of 100? ;o)

  • nicho

    This country has truly gone insane. Repeal the Second Amendment. Problem solved.

  • judybrowni

    And they’re having a holiday sale — 10 to 25% off! Backpacks, and bullet proof “Farmer Coats,” included. http://www.bulletblocker.com/

    Happy paranoid holidays!

  • Buford

    You laugh, but that level of discipline is the only thing that kept gun aficionado Nancy Lanza from being a victim of… oh wait… never mind.

  • Buford

    So here in the Land of The Free™, the only way to stay alive is to be ever vigilant and afraid of near-constant threats on your life…?

  • http://www.thoughtcrimes.org/ Kelvin Mace

    Well, since I don’t recall her boob ever sparking when she was shot at, I think it was just the bracelets.

  • http://www.thoughtcrimes.org/ Kelvin Mace

    Fear is the business plan. Fear sells!

  • Naja pallida

    Remember to run regular drills with your kid by busting into your house in a ski mask, carrying a rifle… so he knows what to expect and how to react!

  • http://adgitadiaries.com/ karmanot

    :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=767941504 Ken Daniels

    One man’s tragedy is another man’s profit-making-opportunity. USA! USA! USA!

  • Naja pallida

    Forget the problem, we can make a fucking fortune off the symptoms and fear!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Patricia-Puzzo/39708877 Patricia Puzzo

    What a brilliant idea! No kid will ever die from being shot again! (As long as gunmen only sneak up behind kids and shoot them in the back.)

  • http://AMERICAblog.com/ John Aravosis

    I actually don’t recall if the clothes were or just the bracelet, think it was the bracelets, made of feminum!

  • http://adgitadiaries.com/ karmanot

    Wonder Woman! Is that bustier bullet proof?

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