Repealing “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” made Petraeus cheat on wife

Don’t Mess With Anyone Who Can Control the Weather

Man, we are a powerful lot, we gays.

First we control the weather, having caused Hurricane SandyHurricane Isaac, and Hurricane Katrina.  And let’s face it, who do you know who can control the weather?

And now, we control straight guys’ libidos. (I wish.)

Here’s a retired general who works for the officially-designated “hate group,” the Family Research Council (FRC):

GENERAL BOYKIN: What you’re seeing is, you’re seeing a declining morality in our military. I would tell you, Tony, that I believe that that is very deliberate. I think the military has been targeted by the left. I think it’s been targeted, ah, largely by the gay and lesbian lobby, ah, but also by other elements of the left to bring the military down because the military has been a bastion of morality and ethics. It’s been the anchor of our society for a very long time and you can’t change our society completely until you lower the, ah, standards of the military and bring them down. That is what we’re seeing here.

TONY PERKINS: So General, let me be clear. The, what we see here, this rash of general officers that have been brought down through scandal, sex scandal, you believe this is a reflection of a declining moral standard within the military as a whole.

GENERAL BOYKIN: I do think that is the case, Tony. I think that this is, ah, concrete evidence.

Did we cause Tailhook too?

Sorry, but if gay men had the ability to control the sex lives of straight military guys, the porn industry would have gone out of business decades ago.  (And I’d be a lot busier evenings and weekends.)

Boynkin Like Bunnies

But taking the good general at his word, how exactly does it all work, this magic gay pixie dust?

Some gay guy wants to go on on missions to kill the Taliban in Afghanistan, and that somehow makes straight guys really horny – but not horny for their wives, or horny for other guys, but horny for their biographers?

Is that how it works for  you, General Boykin?  Do I make you feel special?  Or should I say, “General Boynkin”?

And is that how it worked for General Petraeus? He got all hot and bothered by all those buff gay Navy SEALS who took out bin Laden, so he decided to go boynkin Paul Broadwell?  Really?

Far be it for me to claim any expertise on what turns straight guys on, but they sure seem to have strange sex lives if a gay guy wanting to die for his country makes them frisky for girls.

Then again, we always knew straights guys had odd sex lives – well, at least the “straight” guys who inhabit the twisted world of the religious right (and I’m still not convinced that many men at the highest levels of the religious right are actually straight – most of them set off my gaydar).  After all, the FRC types have told us for years that the other big turn on for straight Americans is gay guys (and lesbians too) settling down and getting married.  Which is funny, since getting married usually kills a guy’s sex life, from what I’m told.

But au contraire. All that gay nesting just makes those religious right types want to get up and leave their wives for an Indian, a policeman, a cowboy, a construction worker, a leatherman, or a biographer.

village people

Village People by Mario Casciano


Follow me on Twitter: @aravosis | @americablog | @americabloggay | Facebook | Google+. John Aravosis is the editor of AMERICAblog, which he founded in 2004. He has a joint law degree (JD) and masters in Foreign Service from Georgetown (1989); and worked in the US Senate, World Bank, Children's Defense Fund, and as a stringer for the Economist. Frequent TV pundit: O'Reilly Factor, Hardball, World News Tonight, Nightline & Reliable Sources. Bio, .

Share This Post

  • http://twitter.com/wyrdotter Kyla Jones

    Our pleasure…:)

  • wmforr

    What Boykin means by the morality of the military is that they didn’t used to get caught.

  • wmforr

    Lo these many decades ago there was a high school principle who was touching the girls’ lady bits, and I wrote to Newsday, “When will we learn: we cannot allow heterosexuals to teach our children.”

  • wmforr

    Oh, there’s much more. Boykin claimed that the American people ddin’t elect George W. Butch, “he was anointed by God”, has constantly claimed the Iraq war was a war of Christianity against Islam. One biography mentions his lovely adoring wife. A later one announced that she divorced him because he had become a religious fanatic.

  • cathy

    these people are idiots talking to idiots.

  • mr_ed

    Through the looking glass and back.

  • tsuki

    Ghoul is more like it. There is not one scandal, disaster or tragedy that he will not try to fund raise using. It was the ‘teh gays’, send me money, MONEY.

  • A reader in Colorado

    And not just him. Bryan Fischer too.

  • A reader in Colorado

    I loved it. I’m not that kind of gay guy at all, but I loved it .. LOL….

  • josephus48

    evil boi at that!

  • tedhayes

    As the cartoon making the rounds on the ‘Net today says re: Petraeus, “This is what happens when heterosexuals are allowed to serve openly in the military.”

  • Don Chandler

    So, Abu Ghraib prison wasn’t run by gays.

    They sure do sound serious in that clip. But these are republicans. They will never get over themselves.

    Where did they dig up this general? So a Wiki Look up:

    By 1980 he was the Delta Force operations officer on the April 24–25 Iranian hostage rescue attempt. Boykin called it “the greatest disappointment of my professional career because we didn’t bring home 53 Americans.”[4] Despite this, his “faith was strengthened” believing he had witnessed “a miracle”: “Not one man who stood with us in the desert and pleaded for God to go with us was killed or even injured that night.”

    “It’s the gays fault.”

  • Indigo

    I suspected as much.

  • Indigo

    I cheerful embrace my part in the cultural conquest of that vast realm of pop culture where the Village People go to the Trailer Court.

  • FunMe

    Further proof that the “religous right” aka religious WRONG have a few nuts missing in their heads. They are certifiable CRAZY!

  • Zorba

    {{Waves}} Been busy, karmanot. And been having problems with my internet connection, as well. Namaste.

  • EdA

    If it has slipped people’s minds, Gen. Boykin served as W’s deputy under-secretary of defense for intelligence, where he showed the level of his intelligence by declaring that God could beat Allah any day of the week with his hands tied behind his back (only slight exaggeration here), which made him — and our troops in combat areas — really popular with our Moslem allies, the ones whom we were trying to convince that the invasions of Iraq and Afghanistan were NOT crusades.

    I have to admit that if we are trying to recruit straight people, this gay guy hasn’t been very successful at it. And I find it hard to believe that any of us would want to recruit a straight guy to cheat on his wife with another woman. But then, critical thinking skills have never been the hallmark of Christianist Fundamentalists.

  • http://adgitadiaries.blog-city.com karmanot

    Hi Zorba! Been a while.

  • http://adgitadiaries.blog-city.com karmanot

    Thank you. The real story about Petraeus will come out, I hope.

  • http://www.rebeccamorn.com/mind BeccaM

    I feel the same way. This is a man whose cheese is not entirely on its cracker.

  • colleen2

    General Boykin does not sound like someone who should be allowed to carry a weapon.

  • Zorba

    Oh, for…..Boykin, Perkins and their ilk are not just totally delusional idiots, they are living in the past. How are these Christianists any different from the fundamentalist Islamists? I cannot wait until these types become more and more marginalized and irrelevant.
    Oh, and BTW, John, “getting married” did not at all seem to kill Mr. Zorba’s sex life with me (and yes, we are both heterosexual). If anything, it has gotten better and better over the years. Just sayin’. ;-)

  • emjayay

    No, you people do not understand what Boykin and Perkins are saying. Gays are immoral. Letting open gays into the military is a symptom and cause of overall lowering of morals in the military. When General Eisenhower had an affair with his secretary in WWII, it was only because he was so precient that he knew what would happen to the moral atmosphere in the military seventy years later and was affected by the anticipation of future moral decline in advance.

  • http://www.facebook.com/bj.lincoln Bj Lincoln

    How is it we have all this power over the weather and now the sex lives of str8 guys in the military but we can’t get something as simple as the ENDA passed or let Uganda have a hurricane and wipe out everyone but the LGBT people?
    These hate groups really showed their ass in the states voting on marriage and they got laughed at. They know they are going to lose the war they started. Now that they are over the shock of losing every single election they dumped money in, they are going to re-group and come back swinging with everything they can come up with. Desparation is ugly. At some time they are going to go underground with the other hate groups like the KKK but they will try to do their worst before they do. I can’t imagine how much more they could blame us for. It will be a stretch.

  • http://www.facebook.com/monoceros.forth Monoceros Forth

    Even if you accepted Boykin’s ridiculous assertion that homosexuals and “other elements of the left” have been working to turn the armed forces into a cesspool of debauchery, then what does it say about Gen. Petraeus that he went along with it? Is that what a (purported) great leader does? “Oh, I woke up this morning and realized that I’m living in a den of sin. Guess it’s OK to cheat on my wife now!” If he’s that weak-willed, should he really be a ranking officer?

  • Butch1

    I think they do it for tax purposes. ;-)

  • https://www.facebook.com/lelio.risen leliorisen

    Who knew that Paula Broadwell had a penis? Certainly not I.

  • http://adgitadiaries.blog-city.com karmanot

    I’ve long believed that the ‘pathetic little pricks’ are incompetent at sex, incapable of sensual pleasure and probably have so many children because it requires actual sex only once a year.

  • http://adgitadiaries.blog-city.com karmanot

    Sorry Judy, only troll slime works on Karl Rove.

  • judybrowni

    Here’s a reminder of what the gays saved us from:

    “Petraeus has left a string of failures and even scandals behind him: a disastrous Iraqi training program, a worsening of the war in Afghanistan since he ran it, the attempt to convert the CIA into principally a para-military force, the series of misleading statements about the Benghazi attack and the revealed large CIA presence in Libya. To that one could add the constant killing of innocent people in the Muslim world without a whiff of due process, transparency or oversight.”

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/nov/10/petraeus-scandal-media-military

    Thanks again, gays!

  • http://adgitadiaries.blog-city.com karmanot

    Or a West Point grad who wanted to be a white male in a position of power.

  • http://adgitadiaries.blog-city.com karmanot

    Boykin in the fox hole—who knew?

  • http://adgitadiaries.blog-city.com karmanot

    Tony Perkins looks preternaturally boy-like—– Could be a vampire.

  • Hue-Man

    Trying to explain the mysteries of the connections between DADT repeal and a CIA director’s adultery is like trying to explain why Adam and Eve walked amongst the dinosaurs. There’s no there there. You just have to accept it on (unquestioning) faith – the gays are responsible for everything evil, bad, or mildly annoying that has or will ever happen. So few gays, such overwhelming satanic power.

    The gays will be blamed when the world doesn’t end just over a month from now.

  • http://www.rebeccamorn.com/mind BeccaM

    I offer a repost of a video from CollegeHumor: “Gay Men Will Marry Your Girlfriends”

    http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6846855/gay-men-will-marry-your-girlfriends

  • Naja pallida

    Wait… is that the big bombshell we were waiting for on this? That his affair wasn’t really with a woman, it was with another man? Or maybe that Petraeus wasn’t actually born a man? I’m confused how DADT could possibly factor in otherwise. No, this is good, old fashioned white, male in a position of power who thinks he can get away with anything.

  • http://www.rebeccamorn.com/mind BeccaM

    Meanwhile, Tony Perkins remains in the rolodexes of the producers for every single cable news/pundit show, and regularly is given a platform upon which to spew his irrational homophobic bigotry, as if his proposals to make homosexuality itself illegal are merely a point of disagreement and rational debate.

  • http://www.facebook.com/adam.jeffrey.92 Adam Jeffrey

    I always thought the GOP was the party of personal responsibility. I guess I was wrong. They should just print up bumper stickers that say “The Gays Made Me Do It.”

  • Butch1

    That didn’t take long. Is there anything else for which we could become a whipping boy for these buffoons and charlatans on the right? Again, they love to Bare False Witness against us ignoring one of their Ten Commandments. I’ve never seen such hypocrites in my life. You can see they are reaching for their last breath before going down and drowning for good. They will try anything and throw anything at us to see if it will stick. They are pathetic little pricks who have no morals themselves. Eventually they will wither away and die off.

  • judybrowni

    Good on you, gays, for taking down that war-mongering piece of shit.

    Now please do your magic pixie dust on Karl Rove (ooops, already accomplished!)

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