Gay men will marry your girlfriends unless you support gay marriage (funny video)

A very funny video about why every straight guy should support gay marriage.

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  • A couple times, after my wife pointed it out to me. I think she found it by way of a poster over on dKos. Clearly seems to have gone somewhat viral, so I can’t actually claim credit.

  • A reader in Colorado

    She had, in the comments .. that’s where I thought you read it first

  • Oh had you already written about this before?

  • Thanks. :-)

  • citizen_spot

    Hahaha! LMFSO (Laughing My Flannel Shirt Off)!

  • LOL, very funny

  • I can’t expect John to see or want to read all of my comments. ;-)

  • I offer the obvious corollary: Heterosexual ladies? Opposed to marriage equality rights? Fine. Lesbian women will marry your straight boyfriends.*

    – We enjoy hiking, fishing, and even hunting. And we’re active enough not to need a gym membership to look good.
    – If we own a dog, it’s a big one, like a German Shepherd or Great Dane. Or maybe a Retriever. A dog big enough to roughhouse with, not some yappy toy cockadoodlepoo.
    – We’ll change the oil, spark plugs, and brake pads in your boyfriend’s truck and do a proper injection timing tune-up because those newfangled scanner devices still kinda confuse him and he’s not big on reading user manuals — but we are.
    – We’ll loan our workshop tools to your boyfriend because ours are so much better quality than that cheap broken K-mart crap you keep giving him every Christmas and birthday. Free hints: Snap-on. Craftsman. DeWalt. Bosch. Makita. Delta.
    – We hang out at the same bars your boyfriends do and can drink them under the table.
    – Your boyfriends don’t mind if we beat them at pool. They’re happy as clams if we just buy them a beer and offer a re-match.
    – Sure, we’ll dance, but we won’t insist your boyfriend join us unless he’s drunk enough not to care what he looks like doing it. If not, we’ll dance with another woman, which he’ll love anyway.
    – He’s not into Broadway shows or the ballet and neither are we. 80s themed costume party? Forget that — let’s hit the shooting range or maybe go bowling. Then afterwards we can head down to Primanti Bros for those awesome cheese-steak sandwiches with the french fries right on ’em. Which we’ll eat with him because we’re not on a kale and lemon-grass cleansing-purge diet.
    – No, we won’t be checking out other men. But we’re totally happy to point out the really hot chicks so he can appreciate them as much as we do.
    – We can listen to your boyfriends talk for hours about nothing at all, disguised as a debate on the merits of football team draft picks — and we know the names and stats of the players being talked about.
    – But we also know he’s talking and complaining about you, in response to which we’ll just grunt or nod at the appropriate times and never draw attention to what he just said.
    – We’ll never ask him about his feelings. Or ask if he’s noticed ours. We don’t care.
    – We’ll never ask him “does this make me look fat?” — because we already know whether it does or not, and so do you, you’re just fishing for compliments.
    – Your boyfriends’ parents have been told dozens of times that we’re lesbians, but in that weird Memento way, the information is never stored in their long-term memory, and so they’re constantly going on about how perfect a match we are for their sons, with so much in common.
    – If your boyfriend ever utters the words “Bros before Hos,” he’s actually including us in the former category.
    – We rock men’s boxer shorts and flannel-chamois shirts. And our boots are all off-road ready.
    – Face it, lesbians get straight men hotter than the fires of Hell. We don’t even have to have sex with your boyfriend, we can just invite our favorite girlfriend over and let him watch.

    So we’ll marry your boyfriends, and then outlive them like we women always do, and enjoy the Social Security widow survivor benefits afterwards — and meanwhile not have to have changed a single thing about ourselves along the way, not even who we sleep with.

    Don’t want us to go chasing after your straight boyfriends? Let us lesbians marry each other and we promise we’ll stay out of your hair…although we can’t do anything about your boyfriend’s fascination with lesbian sex, sorry. Seems to be one of those things straight men are just born with.

    (* = Yes, lots and lots of generalizations in there. I KNOW straight women who enjoy a lot of those things I listed. Just having some fun with the concept, from the other side and hope this is taken purely in the humorous tone in which it was intended.)

  • Powkat

    Okay – is it just me, or is the “Mr. Bennett” a Jane Austen reference? Which most straight guys would not get (except my son and my ex-husband, who have lived with Jane for 25 years.)

  • No. Actually, they had what I think is a paid post on Reddit, top of the page, and it sounded interesting, and I loved it.

  • Well, it was certainly a “Queer Eye For The Straight Guy” moment. Those of us who are gay know that we transcend all types. Any straight guy watching would just assume that we are all just stereotypes…and kinda comedic. Sorta like watching “Will and Grace.”

    It doesn’t do anything for me. Sorry.

  • A reader in Colorado

    And tell the truth, you got this from Becca, dincha.

  • A reader in Colorado

    And those ones in the video are just the ones who show up on your gaydar.

    Some of us are Stealth Gays, with special gaydar reflective coatings and weird gaydar bouncing angles and shit. Muhahahahahaha. You’ll never know what hit you.

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