GOP Official: Gay pirates are invading Tampa!

Lions and tigers and GAY PIRATES!… Oh my!

Eugene Delgaudio, a Republican official in Virginia’s Loudon County, best known for claiming that gay TSA agents were getting their jollies patting down male passengers’ junk, is sending out a letter to his constituents claiming that radical homosexual pirates have invaded Tampa Bay, Florida, and are roaming the streets. My bags are packed and I’m hopping the first flight to Tampa with my copy of “How To Talk Like A Pirate” safely tucked under my arm. What fun! I am particularly looking forward to some of the novel uses one might make of a parrot during a gay encounter with a pirate.
January 29th is the 106th annual Gasparilla Pirate Fest in Tampa Bay, Florida. By all accounts it is quite some event, opening with a real live pirate ship docking at port, and literally hundreds of people in pirate costumes “invade” the city in groups called “krewes” The event is a full two weeks of seemingly family oriented events

When I think of family-oriented events, real live pirates are pretty much the first things that pop into my mind. Nothing brings a family together like kidnapping, robbery on the high seas, plank-walking, rum-drinking, some fitful sodomy, and, of course, the occasional lash.

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