A caller asks: “Has Senator Burns ever had sex with a transvestite prostitute?”

And the calls keep coming in…

“Hello, Senator Burns office…”

I’m calling to see if the senator supports traditional marriage.
-Yes he does.

Can you tell me if he masturbates?
-I do not know sir, that’s not my business.

Can you tell me, do you masturbate?
-That’s none of your business.

Well what about sodomy, analingus, cunnilingus or fellatio? Does he engage in those?
-Uhm, I don’t… sir I don’t know. uhmm.. (uncomfortable pause)

Do you need explanations for what they mean?
-Sir, I don’t want definitions and really I don’t know.

Has the senator had sex before or outside of marriage?
-Sir I do not know.

Have you ever had sex before or outside of marriage?
-No I have not.

Has the senator ever engaged in adultery or relations with a prostitute?
-You know sir, I don’t know and I don’t really wanna go through with the following questions.

Would the senator make a pledge to never be engaged in relations with a prostitute?
-I don’t know sir.

You don’t know if the senator would pledge to not have sex with a prostitute?
-I don’t believe he would. Sir I don’t know. Why are you putting me on the spot like this?

Divorce is the leading threat to marriage, so will he pledge to never divorce?
– Well, the senator has cosponsored the marriage amendment and is in support of it.

All these things that threaten marriage are important,
– I understand sir, and he is happily married to his wife. They have two children.

Has he ever had sex with someone outside of his marriage.
– Sir, I don’t know, that’s really none of my business.

Well, it’s America’s business today. I mean, obviously someone who has sex with a transvestite prostitute would not be in support of traditional marriage. Has he ever had sex with a transvestite prostitute?
– I don’t know sir, I really don’t think so but I don’t know.

Have you ever had sex with a transvestite prostitute?
– I told you that I never had sex outside of marriage and I’m not married.

Why are you not married?
-Why am I not married? Cause I’m 19 years old.

Marriage is very important,
– I understand that

You need to get married right away, do you have a plan for that?
-You know what sir, I ‘ve gotta go, you have a great day.

Follow me on Twitter: @aravosis | @americablog | @americabloggay | Facebook | Instagram | Google+ | LinkedIn. John Aravosis is the Executive Editor of AMERICAblog, which he founded in 2004. He has a joint law degree (JD) and masters in Foreign Service from Georgetown; and has worked in the US Senate, World Bank, Children's Defense Fund, the United Nations Development Programme, and as a stringer for the Economist. He is a frequent TV pundit, having appeared on the O'Reilly Factor, Hardball, World News Tonight, Nightline, AM Joy & Reliable Sources, among others. John lives in Washington, DC. .

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